I find myself at this point facing that vanity mentioned, that frustration of sorts inherent in any and all of man’s undertakings. But this is no strange circumstance as though overtaken by some unanticipated resistance suddenly appearing or sprung up. It is the square facing of a truth any sober man must face as having any recognition of himself as being man, or “a” man. Any will or desire to know or understand (anything) speaks most plainly of the de facto estate of not knowing, and not understanding. How can it not be so? The very will or desire to know as a hunger, or a hunger of sorts, is the most plain evidence of lack. Who could hide it? And more to the point perhaps, if considering any matters regarding truth….why? Why would man, even any man, find such as might be shame in not knowing that he either try to hide his plainest hunger…or by lying, deny it in “I already understand”?
It kind of turns the notion of homo sapiens (if one cares to identify as such) from the Latin for “wise man” to “man who wants to know if wisdom exists”.
Do you see a “trap”, perhaps even the trap of all first laid if we proceed in blithe acceptance of knowing ourselves first as such…that is…wise? Yet we all “step out” from a somewhere in all assurance that that somewhere is of knowing to us…”I know…and step out in will to now know more.” And if this is at all our condition, even such as might be called all presumption of all false assumption…who could reverse it? Simply put…who therefore could even know…they do not know? What work could make that...work? Something would need cause us to see all first assumptions about our relationship to the real, even matters of our own selves are at very least skewed; and at extreme, of no foundation at all. We would have to enter the dark of all not knowing. Even with consciousness. For if first premise(s) is/are wrong, all coming after as built in consequence upon will be error.
It’s easy to see that here any and all of my own contentions, propositions, and observations over these last several thousands of words must fall flat. Totally frustrated to isolation apart from any understanding of another man. It cannot but be so. My “self” holds no superior position to any other from which can come any convincing that a man, or any man’s consciousness is in all, questionable. I must no less be subject to such question if seeking to present question to any man in that regard. It is inescapable. And even if taken to extreme of all agreement it is all undone, no matter if multitudes concur, by the opposition of only one. This is why kings cannot sleep well knowing opposition to their rule can exist. Princesses and peas, kings and dissension…even if only imagined whispered, are enough to churn through the night.
A man once said: “You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.” Thus the concept that necessity of agreement is a necessity for support of truth is all undone. And to many this must only appear as frankest invitation to crazy land to what cannot imagine or think otherwise. But the question then remains as asked several thousand words ago…”Who is the high priest of your sanity?”
I’d like to ask you another question. Do you understand why solitary confinement is often both effective and so widely employed as a means of bringing about compliance? It goes a bit farther than merely grasping man as a social animal is able to be made to suffer by the loneliness of isolation. A fully isolated consciousness with no recourse to any confirmation of itself except as from itself becomes terrifying to itself.
When some approach is made to its recognition of itself as being formed of all relativity and the untenable place is entered (or thrown into) of being ruled by itself with all previously assumed foundation of bedrock now exposed as all of shifting sands, the now unavoidable abyss beneath (as has always been beneath) is shown beckoning. It is not as though by this description one should presume a precipice is in proposition. No, not at all. It is not an eroding away of shoreline approaching and threatening a light house’s standing but rather that the lighthouse already sits only upon a cloud of densely constructed presumption with no foundation other. And that it is already, and only by such presumption, only seemingly hovering in an abyss. But it is already falling. Even inwardly and only upon itself.
Of course you do not like such, nor of considering gravity’s relentless work in beckoning all. For here no physical (material) mass is either implied nor to be inferred as necessity for such gravity. Think instead (if you can) in the terms better understood by such saying as “the gravity of the situation” in its complete and utter dreadfulness. And dire fullness.
An isolated consciousness is terrifying to itself. For it can only collapse upon itself.
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