Month: September 2023

Though I might very much like to think of myself as a spiritual man, seeing perhaps what some do not (or not yet) or enjoying some identity of identifying with some others whom I esteem as also worthy explorers established by “my agreement” with them, God knows what I am. God knows. As only God knows what a man considers of worth. And just how little my agreement is worth. And, after all, it is quite too normal for a natural man to imagine himself spiritual.

Considering what I like (and why) and who I am (and why I am…even an “I”) is most usually found to merely open doors that lead to a thousand others. In saying merely I do not imply any disdain; for no true explorer could do anything but exempt himself from that activity (and likewise description) were he to say “that’s enough” or even “I have reached the end of all exploration”. I “got it all now”. But I cannot deny questions and seeking engender even more questions…and more seeking. And really…who doesn’t like new horizons? Discovering…biggerness? Answered by The Biggerness.

And for the believer this growth through exploration (ask, seek, knock) accompanies through all experience(s). Perhaps in some ways it is better seen as experimentation, as a mixing of ingredients to see “what will happen”. For to the believer whom has received Christ as His life (the very chiefest of ingredient) and of all consequence, he finds this ingredient is of great activity in causing reactions amongst all it is mixed with. Stuff…happens. Even happening stuff we may not immediately recognize as in some now because this life is now touching…other. Even other stuff. O! Yes! Christ whom alone is active as life and of all life comes into contact with everything. Even as He is source…of everything that is. He is always about showing how consequential He alone is…even in all we may experience as consequences. And we may even learn in some pain a this is not to be mixed with some that. Talk about exothermic reactions! A lot of stuff…gets burned up.

And so we pursue and move in our little laboratories, testing, trying, doing…to consequences. As explorers, as scientists (for do we not seek to know…true knowledge?) we cannot avoid what we are set to. But then…no man can. Avoid what he is set to.

And so, in that saying, it behooves me to also say that though it could appear I hold or have expressed some disdain for what could (or I may have already) be described as worldly knowledge, or the pursuers of such, there can be no disdaining for their person. Some personal experiments have already been done along those lines as in “Now who am I allowed to disdain?” or “Who am I allowed to consider useless and evil?” Mere impediments, or mere walk ons…in my story.

If I hate the right stuff…doesn’t that put me in better standing?

“Hey, didn’t you call the Pharisees vipers!?”

This doesn’t mix well with the chief ingredient. Lotsa heat gets generated. In fact there’s only one person set for the adding in disdain to that mix, and he is the one I am most often loathe to offer up as the one worthy of disdaining. “Hey! But I’m working here!”. “I’m necessary!” Ha ha!

Ha!

And aha! As in Eureka!

And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them. Rev 14:13

Oh.

Oh!

So, whom shall I consider as dead to me, Lord? Useless? Unnecessary? Less than a fool worthy of any note?

Oh.

Who has the briefest walk on of all…in the story?

You see?

I needed some geometry (is it worldly knowledge?) to teach me that as a point on a line, a line defined as extending infinitely in two directions from any point upon it, and that any point upon it is considered infinitely small relative to it, and I am…that point. When I saw time, I got to see my place in it. My “own” life…on it.

It wouldn’t matter if thrown into that stream, placed on that line, whether one lived a minute, a 100 or a million years…their point in it, and on it in very fact…is pointless. So infinitely small as measured against that line to be…well…infinitely small. And without breadth…and less than one dimensional. At least that line has one dimension. But still, no substance. Just like my own life.

Even if all time does is to get you to bristle at its constraints…it has then served its purpose. Something has to be of more import than time. (And I thought it was men showing me this, teaching me that geometry)

Must look…elsewhere. For something coming in fullness of time, and of such fullness of it that even time is itself subject to. Something?

Him!

Is, this…? Ah, no wonder He is! Oh, but He already said that! And Oh! Look! In Him is height and depth and breadth…full of all substance! Not one dimensional (as are all imaginations)…or less. Yet even more! Far more than even the word substance only suggests.

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge (merely a substance)

which passeth knowledge

Christ is the all substance that surpasses the all other things that, at best, are only suggested to.

And also I have not…not benefitted from those who, and who have labored tirelessly in nuclear physics, atomic explorations and the like (is that worldly knowledge?) that shout from the housetops “all is made of tiny stuff, un-seeable [sic] stuff of atoms, and stuff of tinier stuff of which atoms are made and that then as elements stick together to form molecules compounded into chemicals and the like and (even!) of that of which we are! We are bunches of atoms! Bunches of elements! Like carbon, calcium, hydrogen, oxygen, zinc et al! Look…we are the same stuff as dust…as dirt! Just swirled together in a certain fashion…to even know we are…of such fashion!

Oh.

Someone said that already. Some nomads wrote it down. Late to the party? But hey, I can’t fault you in all your work for confirming it to any! Yes, God forbid I disdain you. You may not believe…but God help me, you are a help! Who would deny?

But this thing…this thing in, or about these molecules that causes them to do a thing we call thinking, (could we call anything we call anything…without it?) of having consciousness either of themselves or to whatever extent about themselves and in themselves…that they even explore and then shout from housetops (Hey! Everything is owed to stuff we can’t see!) well…what is it?

Consciousness.

If it wasn’t “there” at the Big Bang…(Is/was there a Big Bang?) then are you saying something came into being that isn’t/wasn’t in being there? Then how’d it get “here”? (If indeed it is…here) Something that was not…but now is? You may not have the answer as to the “how” it (consciousness) is or came into being in stuff...but you would be less than honest to conclude or say at one time…”it” wasn’t. All you may honestly say (at best) is that to you “it” hasn’t always been. But, now you believe in it. And believe you have it. And all that you know of yourself (and/or what you think you know of anything) is of that very thing.

Can you show it? Prove it? This thing that causes certain molecules to have opinions, thoughts, consciousness, knowing…even about other molecules. Can you produce, as with a drawing of an atom…what consciousness looks like? Show where it is? And what does an atom look like to a bunch of other atoms? You say this bunch of atoms (a man) can know stuff…and does…even about all the stuff in which no knowing seems to be…like mere “other” atoms.

Is that beaker of chlorine beholding you beholding it?

Oh.

You say you’ll only talk about stuff that is provable by scientific method, but you can’t prove the very thing that even allows you to think about, much less talk about…the scientific method. You just…assume it’s there (in you) and real. Consciousness. And do you call the believer…preposterous? Believing in what he does not materially sense? Even what informs…the senses?

Yet…you are quite sure you have consciousness. How? Well, because consciousness tells you so? Have you forgotten how much you claim to hate circular reasoning?

After all, you have to.

No man can avoid what he is set to.

And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.

God forbid I disdain the first man Adam.

For if, or in so doing, I be found as one disdaining the Christ of God.

Only Adam(s) don’t like (disdain) being Adam, or the being of Adam. Or the beings of Adam.

Hate me yet?

Good, at least we have that in common. I don’t much care for myself either…well…beyond a desperate fawning toward myself that is nauseating. How much simpler if I was manufactured with an air nipple for all my self inflation. It takes a miracle, and a continuous working of it for anyone to remain with me. I am simply impossible to be with. For I am a killer. And I have too many infallible proofs.

And now that we might admit we are common men together, just bunches of like molecules…dust…is there anyone else to see? Or seek?

He might also be impossible to be with…but for a miracle. A powerful working beyond the capacity of dust to accomplish.

But, He might help us get along if we can but see Him.

And just how many impossible things He holds together in Himself.

In answer to the question (of the last section) “Is there a problem with that?” in regards to man being sufficient to being no more than man, some unknown (to me) pundit said:

“The problem with the average man is that he doesn’t believe he is average”

Now, that’s kind of cutting isn’t it? One either takes the view it is addressing himself and aimed at him as the one having a problem, and that with being no more than average but always thinking himself more so. Almost being raised for ridicule in his lack of self knowledge. Well, maybe not almost.

Or one wryly nods their head as though in appreciation of such an astute observation that would therefore exempt him from considering himself both the average man and the man with a problem. Or at least that problem. He would think to himself the average man couldn’t have come up with such an insight, and also, in appreciating it I show myself as more than, or better than, the average man. But he neglects in that thinking, and by it, that he now includes himself in the addressing…for it is natural to any man to think himself both better than he is and to a great extent, others. It may not even be a matter of wanting to believe so, it is as natural as gravity. And to a great extent, just as inescapable. A man is bound to himself, and in such binding, bound to see and think of himself in a certain way.

It is kind of funny for any who might not yet understand or deny matters of spiritual reality; the so called hard realists (or scientifically (of this age) minded) to face they are saying “My swirl (or tower) of molecules is better than your swirl of molecules”. Oh yes, it’s very very hard being an unbeliever. Just look at the myriad matters for grasping at, to be forced to choose from frantically for justification! So very many! And the activity is frenetic, unending. Ceaseless.

Shall one fall upon intelligence? He will meet a more intelligent man who now forces him (for he dare not consider himself lesser) to search his bag for something else to come up with. But I am more kind and caring! Ahh that will do it! Until he meets the kinder man. Oh, but I am more clever..etc. And on and on and on. In seeking to establish his own uniqueness to himself he will always find (eventually, and if blessed so) just how common a man he is. That everyone, even as he, from pauper to mogul has some choice of theirs, some choice thing of their own upon which they justify themselves, and to themselves for their being; and that of such unique matter to justify to themselves their being in their being of “me”.

Do you notice in the above I have left out the more crass and venal matters of wealth, fame, beauty, status or possessions? Well that’s merely so I could say they are venal, and O! so superficial! and show myself of more noble and /or deeper considerations! “I may not be rich by the world’s standards…but…”

Ha ha! Who escapes this most common of games? We even play it with morals and spirituality in the offing!

But then…we might meet a more spiritually informed…man. A true and spiritual man.

Have you?

Has He left you anything?

Taken anything?

But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Be ready for what you do not expect!

Tell me, if you can or will, how can one be ready for what they do not expect? Can one of them self make their self ready? What self has such…power? Is it enough to any sufficiency that one has such power to accomplish alone what he commands, and found in the power of His (that) word?

Be ready.

There’s only one who can give or leave us anything that justifies our being, even the one who would steal all our cleverness and understanding(s), all our religious posturing(s) and self adoration, all our vain attempts at seeking to better than man, or seeking to be the better man.

Laugh or cry, it matters not except to you.

If you are still trying to win, the good news is…you lose. Game over.

Laugh or cry.

But you will do…something.

Are you ready for what you cannot expect?

To admit we tend to congratulate ourselves when we see a problem, a fault, a discrepancy should be nothing new to us. We think ourselves rather clever when we find a weakness in what is proposed or accepted as sound. From some ability to poke holes in an argument or contention to the discovery of some heretofore unrecognized defect or weakness to exploit. And for us it has often served as useful in a gazillion pursuits. Finding some chink in armor ranges from battling viruses, plagues of bugs to armies afield, to figuring out why tungsten works best as a light bulb filament in the face of a thousand other failed attempts.

We are in toto quite given to the notion of ourselves as problem identifiers…and from there, problem solvers. And what has more fallen into common acceptance in the argot of this age than “admitting you have a problem is the first step…”. We like to work on things, or what we think is improve on things, and fix things. And who can deny the flush of success when taking something once un-serviceable and restoring it to sound use? Yes, we like it…a lot. And to come up with something new to address a once commonly accepted and ir-resolvable estate now able to be overcome? (Think a bazillion things like refrigeration and air conditioning) Progress as we call it, can be seen in almost everything as it really is quite impossible to miss. And how many fortunes have been made by convincing others of a problem not once known or much cared about to them “Are your whites dingy? Your colored fabrics lacking vibrancy”?

Or “Do you mean you lack a device that will let you communicate instantly with most anyone on the planet?”

And we really do think…”My, my, my, but we have come such a long way…from the runner at Marathon”.

And to be honest, if not fair, to a great extent our survival appears dependent upon this matter of identifying problems, their potential(s) and seeking some remediation…or fixing. Not everything appears as frivolous as lawn dart’s invention for remedying a boring Saturday afternoon enlivened by a visit to the ER.

And although the above comment itself may seem wry, or clever…we might also admit there is some “down side” to much that we have come up with to address or remedy “problems” from the dire to the lesser. Superbugs developing from over usage of antibiotics; themselves once thought game changing and in all necessity for life saving…yet…not without consequence(s). Holes in the ozone layer from fluorocarbons (refrigerants), islands of plastic twice the size of Texas, floating lazily in the Pacific; and of course, what to do with those spent fuel rods from nuclear reactors. It’s not a hard case to make that we may actually be operating at net gain zero. Net progress only illusory. But we love feeling as though we are moving, headed somewhere…better…and can of our own resourcefulness, get there.

The gospel of Jesus Christ, of course, put that all to lie. In fact we cannot even do anything about our propensity to see life as a problem to be solved. And if you haven’t yet met a (if not the) fundamental issue of a thing having consciousness, especially of itself in a vessel made of dust (or clay) and has not found that consciousness in all conflict with the frailties, weaknesses, discrepancies and/or defects to which clay is subject and thence by that imposition is utterly directing that consciousness, you will. The consciousness that to itself seems free, uninhibited to every imagination and all manner of consideration can never free itself from the jail of knowing…it abides in clay. And its demand(s). And so, even that freedom becomes illusory. Yes, consciousness in clay…is very much a problem readily accepted as to be solved…for, and by, consciousness in clay. We are our own enigma. And so, yes, we try to solve ourselves.

Have fun storming the castle.

There’s a futility appointed to man in any attempt to be more than he is. Simply thinking dirt…talking, walking, planning for and planning against…problem identifying and (assumed) problem solving dirt. And every bit of the so called progress, the elevation of all investigative methods, technologies, and techniques has left many in conclusion, no, even “proof” that none of us are ever more than a bunch of molecules swirled together with chemical and electrical reactions and impulses percolating in such dirt, that we make claim to knowing what and all we are. And not only so, but what all else…is. Or might be. Could be. Or allowed to be…“is”.

Tangle with that absurdity and even the word absurd (as all words among men are “made up”, fabricated) and find that one doesn’t even begin to describe what it is proposed as sufficient to describe.

But then nothing of man is sufficient…to anything…but being man.

Is there a problem with that?

There’s a reason the once very well known story of the Princess and the Pea was well known. (Is it today? I am not sure) And why to some certain degree the Matrix (mentioned in last post) also retains a great deal of popularity and noteworthiness.

On the surface perhaps, the Princess and the Pea appears to deal with the prerogatives of the entitled to be troubled by the smallest of matters. A princess cannot get a good night’s sleep, leading to complaint over a pea placed beneath the hundred mattresses she spent the night upon. It was far too “lumpy” for her Princess-ly sensibilities and sensitivities.

The Matrix, on the other hand, seems entirely in address of matters not related at all, And for the most part I’d have to agree. Why mention either? Or both?

On the most fundamental level of their overall address of plot and character, they seem unrelated. Yet both hold some story about man; and mustn’t every (to us) good story be so? As a colleague in radiology once said “No one’s X-rays interest a person more than their own”. It seems if there is no element of “us-ness” about a thing we rarely find it interesting. Things unrelate-able to us (or seen so) rarely summon attention. And conversely the more related in effect to us…the more attention is summoned. We care when the hurricane’s cone includes our hamlet.

My question then might be…what provokes attention?

The segment of The Matrix presents a knowing speaker and an unknowing man. She mentions to the man to be unconcerned about a vase, a vase of which he is not even aware till mentioned. But in response to her now mention of it he asks “what vase?” and turns to look for it; and in so, clumsily knocks it over. He apologizes for its breaking to which she says “I said don’t worry about it”. She already knew all that would happen…even before his apology she granted “space” that he needn’t worry about…of which she also later reminded him.

And she tells him shortly thereafter in her knowing as coming up against all his own unknowing (doubts, questions, puzzlement at entrance to a “place” where he is being shown insufficient in all) that in particular what will “bake his noodle” will be to consider if he would have broken it if she did not mention it.

She spoke first…consequence followed. (This should at least have some relate ability to any “us” of as believer) Shall I belabor it?

The Princess and the Pea?

Attention.

A pea under 100 mattresses is enough to deprive of sleep. It matters not if there be 100 or 1000 “Perfect Comfort Sleepers” between us and the tiniest bump. Once we feel it, as a burr under a saddle blanket…we are all uncomfortable. We buck, we bray, we move about with sole intention of ridding of that particular irritant that now garners all focus. And if we do (have you not found?) “get rid” of that troubling matter…it is mostly…so we can go on to find or deal with the next that now ascends to “first place”. “I broke my leg…O! my, how terrible…I must see the doctor”. Now my leg is set and safely in a cast…and now I can “go back to” cleaning the smudge on my refrigerator where I previously slipped on some spilled juice. And on and on. Things problematic, large or small, get our attention. From peas under mattresses to saving the planet. From hangnails to the most dread diagnosis. Any one thing can be the biggest problem at any particular time, even an all consuming problem at any one time…depending upon whether it is made to be “in our sight”; that is, presented to our knowing. “Oh, my! my whites are dingy!” “My lawn is not full and green”.

“I think my appendix just burst”.

Of all the trees in the garden thou mayest freely eat…but…(is your noodle baking?)

You see…there’s a thing…that no matter how much it is given…something it finds has a compulsion over it. Or under it, or all around it. Or is inescapably immersed in compulsion. There’s always the one thing…to us problematic. There’s something about clay…about being the dust of the earth…with consciousness. Very, very, problematic. Knowing stuff…is terribly problematic. So much so that only one can handle it, the one who knowingly put and made consciousness in clay.

All we can do is dig deeper holes for ourselves.

It’s far too late for any of us to spit out the fruit, (would we have eaten if not being told…to not to?) to repair the vase…it doesn’t matter…we did eat, we did break. Someone spoke and…consequence.

But what can we do then…is there anything…anything a man can find…”given” for the even deeper (and more dire) consequences encountered of consciousness in clay??

Has that Speaker who knows of all consequence to His speaking…convinced?

Something needs mercy for not at all being comfortable in clay. Of dust. Compelled to be. Formed to be. Made…to be. And can only make more problems…for itself.

Simplify.

Listen if you can…God doesn’t mind being your problem. Call it mystery if you prefer. The overall engaging one. After all, problem(s) get attention. And He is the only “good one”.

Sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.

Do you not know that what you most fear, is most problematic to you, is most mysterious to you…already has your attention?

What benefit is there to being full of such singular fear? Isn’t it better to seek to escape it? (I speak as a man)

You’d have to see this One.

Me, too.

And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots:

And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;

And shall make him of quick understanding in the fear of the LORD: and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears:

But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.

And righteousness shall be the girdle of his loins, and faithfulness the girdle of his reins.

How many things do you/we see wrong? Might it even be that we see…wrongly?

Who would have that covered already...before we even turned to eat…or break?

Only the one who knew we would.

The promise of freedom that stirs hope in, and for liberty I would venture to say, is not unfamiliar to any who have been made able to consider the Lord’s word(s) here:

“If you continue in my word then are you my disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”.

There is so much acceptance of the latter part that disciples do not find it infrequently mentioned, quoted as and in some salubrity [sic] by even those who make no mention of either having been touched by Jesus Christ or as being under discipline (disciples) of Him. “The truth shall make you free” has fallen into such general usage, application, and acceptance as it often stands alone as (or “a”) truth itself. It can be rallying cry, or used as such by any or many to some particular point of view being proposed; and of such assumed verity that general usage and acceptance is considered salubrious. As in “Know the truth of things for in it lie great benefit…even freedom”. But we, as believers, dare not neglect the whole of the proclamation (appearing to some yet as only proposition) that it hinges upon. Continuance in the Lord’s word.

And as such, if for total consideration, we might also see that some promise of liberty hinging upon such continuance will and can only be attractive(?) inspiring(?) provocative(?) enticing(?) to such as know, or are in experience of, some inhibition, constraints upon, or restriction of, their liberty. The man in any sort of jail looks forward to the day of walking out the gate. Unless he is resigned to his imprisonment as being forever. Yet even a man in such resignation to a life sentence might find something stirred if told “Your case is now being reopened and reconsidered”.

Tell this to a man blithely walking the sunny boulevard in Spring with a wallet full of cash, his girlfriend on his arm and headed to a brunch at the newest chic restaurant and he might more likely say “What case? There’s no case against me. Why, I’ve never even been arrested! What are you talking about…are you crazy?” as far too many who have shared the gospel openly may know. (How used to…are you, being thought…”crazy”? How much rolling of eyes at you…can you bear?)

Some know, or already have some sense of their restriction. Some, even walking with a wallet full of cash and all general approval of man may not know it yet. Some may never know nor have any care to. That is not our business. Our business is to tell what we hear in the secret place, openly, and without shame. And our promise is no less than that spoken of by Jesus the Christ, that all who are taught of the Father shall come to Him. Not to us, God forbid. They may indeed call or think us crazy at whatever time they do. Our metrics are never based, even remotely, upon acceptance of ourselves. God both forbid and help! And here’s a “kicker”. Some may even “come” in a manner we do not yet recognize nor approve as correct formula; yes, we have to let that go, also.

All and anything that that might seek to interpose itself, contradict in any way, add codicil or addendum to this foundation that stands sure…must even quake and fall before it in its immovable surety (regardless of what we think…even of ourselves and/or others…and one will find just how much our “thinking of ourselves” affects the way we view and think of others) whose surety is this:

“The foundation of God stands sure having this seal, the Lord knows those who are His”

All must bend or be broken to it. All. Even (or perhaps, especially) the all of which, and by which, we use our own metrics of determining the eithers of fitness, acceptability, proper conduct and deportment, and even to us…response.

O! yes! Tell me…who of us would not have some opinion of Saul there, as we watched a beloved brother Stephen being stoned mercilessly to death (with Christ yet on his lips and tongue speaking mercy) as one consenting?

Aha! Are we yet open to all rebuke? All reproval? All…correction? (And I speak as one as to you…as in same boat)

“The foundation of God stands sure having this seal, the Lord knows those who are His”

Do we see? Do we yet see? The Lord…knows.

We can get consumed with horse and cart, God knows. And God surely knows I have, and have been.

We can even enter that curious place so wonderfully and graphically portrayed in the movie the Matrix. Do you know it? Have you seen it? Have you wondered if the makers of it were “touched” or did God sovereignly see in all to its distribution? (O! horse and cart again!) I have wondered, I have questioned…because I have seen wonders in it…a man called “Neo” (new), a man telling another “you will learn, just as I have, there is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path”

O! so rich in references to truth and how things “truly are” (even a battle raging between mechanisms and true men) that can be seen only once a surrender to truth and a motion against illusions is provoked to the swallowing of a “pill”. Taken in…even to where the man is in peril of death now, by its swallowing. (Have you eaten a little scroll?) He can only “live through” that experience with an intervention…a help, a helper. O! my! He might die as this panorama of how things truly are is at the threshold…for without help he could not see it…and live. (Was it mercy or withholding enacted on Moses’ behalf? Is there a “helper”…now?)

Is God now withholding? Or is it a patience ministered, a mercy ministered…even to us…who in yet of some lack of confidence in our helper are preserved from seeing an all, which could surely condemn in its seeing…this present lack of confidence?

Is God hiding? Or patiently waiting? Is it cart? Is it horse? (Hard to escape!)

If it is resolved to us that this foundation does stand sure…even with a sure seal…we will no longer be dogged by cart and horse…but rather delight in their considering…because they always lead to only one.

What does the resurrection “look like”? Someone said in so many words that it is not merely limited to an “event”/fact/ happening as such, but is actually (truly) a person.

I am the Resurrection and the life…

Did you get the call? Responded to a summons? Received an invite with your name engraved?

To a place? Or was it from a place? Was it to a person (so personally engraved) or from the person of all person? To an “event”? To see something? Or to see all that is not…thing?

O, yes! Many questions! Even in all what may appear puzzlement and vexing as to who’s who here, what’s what and how’s how. A delightful leading always…to One. Remember…it is a gift of grace to be puzzled enough so that one is provoked to “ask, seek, knock”. This is an inherited right of the believer…even only of the believer and for the believer…to be allowed entrance, as one summoned, called, invited entrance…into the all that was once (and for whatever remains)…a delightful mystery…God.

And where no man can prohibit. Or give license.

But anyway (do I sense some eyes rolling…somewhere? having truly nothing to do with anything I do) there’s this…there’s a right baking of noodles (our own minds) referenced…that hews so closely to referencing what must be renewed (out with the old! it’s burnt!) that I dare not deny you some possibility of pleasure in its considering.

The Oracle speaks…and what happens is…

Consequence.

It is not as though Jesus is/was unaware of what’s cookin’.

He just refused to be offended by, even loved…(O! my!) what wasn’t ready…yet.

Simon Peter said unto him, Lord, whither goest thou? Jesus answered him, Whither I go, thou canst not follow me now; but thou shalt follow me afterwards.

And all after, even in His speaking…is consequence. Even promise to what is not yet ready…of following.

May we find Jesus’ word(s) fully consequential.

To even know what’s cookin’.

For our God is a consuming fire.

Why a man is given impossible things to speak of to an almost tedious end may not be a bad question. Things impossible both for a man to do and things impossible for a man to avoid. But for the believer this matter is alone resolved both in Jesus the Christ and by Jesus the Christ, for He alone is that man who does all the impossible.

And therefore…even because of His doing(s) He alone has authority to speak of, give instruction in, command to, recommend of all He does (for He is no hypocrite)…and even bring all substantial question to this thing, man, that cannot escape his loathe of being cross examined in the witness chair. Cross examined.

Let’s face it if we can. If we are made able. We are all of substance of expression. All things of creation are, all things cannot escape their being; and, in that being, hold expression of their being. Too circular in reason? Too plainly obvious as to be not worthy of note or saying? “Things are that they are”? And if we were to put too fine a point to it one might even think or say this is descent into the absurd. And, no less, in speaking of what is impossible (at least for man) might we frankly face that to any man it is impossible to accept himself as absurd…even to extreme as the absurdity?

Any attempt to beat up Descarte will have its own impossible to avoid consequences. And another might say “He is not here to defend himself, why then bring up anything as attributed to him as though it might be used as against him?” What? Did he alone of all men imagine he’d escape cross examination? And who says it is to be used as against him? But if in his expression (just as you in yours, me in mine) he hoped to have final word, or believe he might, then what he leaves or has left us of his expression is no less nor more than his being here, himself. His expression (just as you in yours, me in mine) is no less than that expression of his being of being. All is up for examining…even the light that “hits us” and is hitting us a thousand years after a star has died.

But there is also something else. Any call to the witness chair…even as loathed as it might be during cross examination, already speaks of some noting of a thing’s being. Something is according a worthiness to such placing. It is “worthy” enough to be examined. What we ignore we ignore (again…too circular?) but let’s also face it…what we high lite speaks as much for and of our being as to our being (in what we consider worthy of note) as anything else we might express. And for now, if it be possible for any to accept it, it is in that sense this man, Descarte be accorded his “props”. A great thinker. A noted philosopher…who (one would hope) knew enough of philosophy to understand a man’s words are an expression of himself…even if, or when, when under cross examination he is found hypocrite. For cross examination is the thorough examination. It exposes truth.

He (Descarte) is accorded his worthiness therefore, in “I think, therefore I am”. He makes claim of thinking, and thinking as to him of such verity that he can then establish his being upon it. To him it is first truth “I think” from which even all of (his) being can find full support for its proof of likewise truth. And (God forbid) I overstep and seek to get inside a place to which I am not invited (the being of Descarte) and there presume I can speak for him. But since we already do, that is, speak of others, I surely give, and cannot avoid giving him (in such worthiness of being called as witness to his own words) an honest hearing.

Do you, in any way (or even do I…who is no less “up for” cross examination) also hold his words as verity? Then they are as much yours…as his. If “taken in” (and how very much of what men say and have said…constitutes the you of you and the me of me? From “daddies” to philosophers, scientists, teachers, professors, preachers, mommies, friends, wives, husbands, novelists, pundits, et al…even enemies)…yes…if taken in…they now no less constitute in inseparable way what is expression of our self. We may long for “clean slate”…but again, let’s face it…by the time any of us (is it also inescapable?) come to any question of “who we really are” and find any provoking to know…is only that time after we have learned that already boat loads have been dumped in. In that sense it is already and always too late for any of us to do (impossible) anything about ourselves. And even if “unpacking” or throwing unwanted ballast overboard…we can never know if we are acting or only reacting. As in “why do I want to keep that…but get rid of that other?” Whence come my predilections to, and my resistance(s) against?

And I have a predilection toward appearing smart. Intelligent. (At very least to myself) Not ignorant nor naive. Against appearing unwise dupe. And, I suppose I could suppose in that way I am completely unlike any other man.

Did someone not say it is all but impossible for a man to accept to himself that he is the absurdity?

So, I must ask the smart man, the wise man, the man educated to and of parents, professors, preachers, philosophers, kind men, “good” men, men of great note and saying(s), men of impression and acheivement(s), is there any holding to “I think therefore I am”?

Would a man be a liar to hold some made excursion beyond, would he be shown hypocrite under cross examination that such excursion was truly made to some place where a man cannot (where all is impossible to him) and cannot…not…not only be shown, but also, and no less, accept the absurdity of any attempt to establish his own being?

Where he is corrected to, and particularly in this particular…in regards to his own thinking.

“I think, therefore I only think I am”

Who shows…true man?

Clean slate…man?

The “I am” man?

It is a stunning matter for a man to learn. To be brought to. To be taught. To be instructed of. Enlightened to. Have come crashing into him. The reality of how much he actually hates in reality of the reality he would otherwise claim to have desire to know. To apprehend. To understand. To even…accept. And stunning is far too soft a word, even here.

To not merely find as though he of himself can make this discovery, that he is both liar and lying, first of and to himself, thence to all others as they may be seen or found, might more rightly be called impossible to a man. Well, because it is. It is impossible for man.

But the believer has been summoned to that place where lying is impossible. There are the eyes here of the maker of eyes. The ears here of the maker of ears. A mouth that speaks above all speakers. And a mind above all other minds of which all other minds, mouths, ears, and eyes are not the true, but types and shadows; not for comparison to, but of likeness of…serving only at best, for direction toward the true.

Summoned, yes. The believer is under all of judgment. Summoned to it. And it not at all means he has worked this to his own acceptability, quite the contrary, ever the contrary…for for him, and to him, it is inescapable. Incontrovertible. Eyes are searching, ears are hearing, and a mouth speaking words that are quick and active vivisecting him, dividing asunder all and everything that is of matter to him, severing tendrils of bindings to matter (and all that is merely of material nature) that spirit be made manifest first to him, then as God wills through him as preeminent of all, and holding primacy in all. Nothing is said here that is first said, here. The Spirit gives life. The flesh profits nothing.

And he finds a warring. Even that warring inescapable. And of such nature of dread tumult that it would be utmost folly for any to imply here the man chooses, or can summon to himself enough space, find place of peace, or presence of mind to find place of withdrawing to even consider choice or choices…as though he might hide in a closet while every armament in rounds of bullets and artillery constantly whiz by (I speak as a man) and the unceasing thunder of bombs refutes any thought there might even be a safe closet to withdraw to…to hide for a moment, and thus consider…choices. He will either die, or die to, any thought of his own escape. But even this, he does not know.

Too dire a scenario? Or too real?

One would reasonably say (I speak as a man) “Where is peace in this, where can it be if what is spoken of is true?” But that is not the right question. The only matter pertinent to anything, and in particular for now in this commentary is “Is it true?”, regardless of ones disposition toward it. If it is not settled to one (or any) that what was both given to that apostle to write and understand that the flesh is at enmity with the spirit and the spirit at enmity with the flesh, and that there is a natural hostility to the truth(s) of God, it may yet be proved to him. The matter is not therefore whether one wants to believe such, but whether this truth has been made clear to him. For at that point, and in such warring must come a concomitant knowing “I cannot make peace for myself here, it is a thing that must be done for me, or I perish”.

And so even as entry into what would appear as all unsavory to a man and not of his own choosing for himself, God may give grace to understand and further establish first…to that man, then in that man and, if God wills, through that man…that nothing avails here except the work of Christ to bring to peace in the midst of such warring. Yes, peace in the storm.

Jesus is/was never reluctant to speak all given to Him by the Father for our instruction, enlightening, comfort and joy that we be made able (as He) to bear all seeming contradiction(s). He did not withdraw or exempt Himself from us in any way as a man might in expressing what would be considered among men as a hard truth by saying “I hate to tell you this…but…”

No, instead He speaks of matters (we learn) quite true without need of feigned sorrow nor what would be called sugar coating. “In the world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world”. It has been said elsewhere of such remarkable words that in a sense…only Jesus Christ (speaking the word(s) of God to us) could “get away” with such saying to us…for He Himself is the guarantor of the good cheer He tells us to have…to even “be of”. No wonder only He can get away (so to speak) with saying such. For if we are persuaded it is He alone who first overcomes the world in all, and in giving of Himself to us and for us is made such guarantor, we understand now it is not as much of command given to be of “good cheer”…but matter of knowing possession of (or being possessed and captured by) the very Christ of God. Yep, He is a conqueror in all. And so we come to learn that commandment which all of once spelled death to us, through Christ are made to us eternal life. Even to such extreme (but is it?) that there are those told and hear “And you shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake”…without a shred of “Gee, I hate (or I am sorry) to tell you this…but…”

Yes, only God in and through Christ can get away without apology for speaking the truth in all. For He is the truth in all, without holding back from us all necessary to us, for His glory and our good. Even to such saying that all once formerly sought, all once striven for, all once diligently manipulated toward of all and even every man…to acceptance in and of the world by whatever means such acceptance and acceptability is garnered…is now made not only futile to seek, but voided in Him. It’s just not there. No believer need seek to make himself odious to anything (especially the world) for in and through Christ, he already is. Ha ha! It’s too late for us to make ourselves…anything! (Even as it truly has always been too late for us to do anything…about ourselves!)

What a relief.

We are what we are.

Thanks be to God!

When considering this matter of identities, as with all matters the Lord would make clear to us, we cannot escape the matter of apparent paradox(es). Seeming paradox(es). Seeming contradictions. O! we might very much prefer it not be so, especially at those points in which they are met in all the confounding by which they bind the mind of the natural. But, if we confess it, can we then deny it; that there is need for mind’s renewal? Even to this matter of apparent paradox(es)? Especially to and of ourselves if we are to be in any way, honest? For we may find we have little or no peace at all otherwise in seeking out the reconciliation with the God who desires truth in the inward parts and whom is only made known to us through Jesus, His Christ.

Even the above holds some point, even a very salient point, for the purpose of a righteous contention. A need for a smoothing out, settling, clarity. For by faith (specifically the faith of the Son of God) we have received such reconciliation as a matter accomplished already, finished, complete and perfect. Done for us as a gift to us; that we dare not seek to add to nor foolishly think enhancement is in our hands to accomplish, the which will in truth (if seeking to embellish) only accomplish a degradation…not of the gift which is from above and untouchable and un-subject to degrading, but of estate of mind displayed in such degradation.

Yes, we can fall…further. And we are strenuously warned against it, God help us. Not forgetting, (God forbid!) it is His good pleasure to help us. Even with all warnings and cautions. See? Even here I, no more than any, can escape a frank confrontation with a matter requiring not some, but all the light and grace there is for reconciling. For even in such admission of needing all, this cannot be used as lever or leverage to control God’s dispensing.

An apostle confronted the same. If where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more…the natural mind sets up the equation falsely…that encouragement of, or to sin is implicitly the lever to pull to see more grace or have it more abound.. But let’s face it, there is a one great thing we might all know of ourselves…there’s no help required nor encouragement needed as provided by any argument or contention to encourage our sinning. It is ample enough, as is. Can a man be honest before God? Or better, perhaps, before those eyes who cannot but tell the truth on themselves? For even if attempting to lie…we truly show ourselves…liars. And so truth must out, always…before those eyes. Do we believe this?

Therefore in this matter of selves and identity (including identification) it becomes plain. One knows all, sees all, understands to all and any depths..all…and a one who does not. We can surely go onto say one is of all righteousness and holiness while another is in desperate need of these. One cannot lie…while another even if seeking to, cannot but make himself plain. One is in all control and dominion over all created things even to Heaven and earth…while another is one of those created things. Identity of each should be rather plain to the disciple.

But here is where the expression of such is not, nor can ever, nor will ever be a matter of mere words. Yes the words are simple enough that in all simplicity a child can grasp in some understanding when presented “I am me and you are you”…”you are baby boy (or girl), and I am daddy”. But we know something (don’t we?) even of pretending, how that child may grow, slip into oversize shoes not his own and slog around the house, deepening his voice and saying “I am daddy”. Or even “the” daddy.

We will not here touch too much upon the possibilities in this predilection and their two very different expressions of motive. For one may be a toward a more healthy (or less odious) desire to imitate, while another may be of desire to usurp and replace. There can even be a mix of the two. For if a father is a so called “good” father, it is not as deserving of harsh rebuke that child have desire to be like him when usurpation also lay just around the corner. But he must be warned. It is enough we consider Adam, and his (even our own) predilections. Irked at being clay? A created thing? Enough said about that for now.

Identity is always in play. And to be considered.

And so it is an apostle expressed quite a matter (and I am convinced, sought to) as invitation to understanding of a matter in his experience that is not, and was not, a matter of mere words. No matter how often they may be rotely repeated until they are not. But because his expression was intensely personal (as we see) and remarkably so…this matter itself helps serve in the matter of identity. None of us are Paul, but we sure may have desire to know what he knows (or knew) and presented. Such can even be a Godly jealousy, provoked…to have what another does and provoked of depths and glories sensed in the words.

But lest we imagine Paul himself did not have some matter of contending with apparent paradox and weaknesses of mere words that are in total dependence for spirit’s informing, we can consider. For unless the spirit inhabit and disclose the words, (as no less for a man) matters must remain obscure. Things are for us and to us always in need of resolution surely, and with as much confidence we can have that the spirit will do, and does no less than that; despite any seeming contradiction.

Appreciation of a matter must include (if it be rightly to a just balance) all of the matter.

I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives within in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.

It is only because the seeming “second” sentence is true (do you believe it?) that what appears as first there can be shown us, made true to us and in us.

Who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Too personal? Too exclusive? Too much a “place” where no man but Christ can bring “another”? In so much verity that it becomes plain all the impossibility of man to accomplish is now broadly on display without contradiction?

Wonderful. Even too wonderful.

Vision and focus are being narrowed to a perfect narrowing…where only Christ can be of hope and help. Not of theory, not of filmy nor diaphanous substance constructed of mere words…but of eternal and (O!) so weighty substance…to you, in you, for you.

If one is of Christ this is all and only and ever has been…sole pursuit, sole of seeking after, sole of finding, sole of reminder, sole of consequence to rebuke(s)…even in and through all things appointed of God for our experience(s) and any understanding.

O! but we may rightly say “I have seen my many mistakes”, “I have seen my many of fallings short” “I have seen my many many errors in thoughts and practice…even while seeking to be a faithful seeker”.

“I cannot deny my utter weakness and weaknesses”

Cool. Now you are free to boast of them.

And the words are both the frame and the framing for that house, and even a city being built together, whose builder and maker are God.

And by the grace of God you are what you are. A man.

Free from all once striving to show yourself more than that.

God knows what power and work it takes for a man to see, and to some extreme, himself. O! but this is no small matter and cannot escape wonder. Yet it is of great necessity it be accomplished on our behalf, for without firm establishment of identity and identities how can there be relating or relationship? A self in relation (or relationship) to another cannot escape the necessity of this knowing…for lest it be made clear all presumption cannot but ensue. Do we see that?

The examples that may be given make it all the more plain so that I am confident none of us are unaware. And again, without apology for entrance into what only appears paradoxical, we venture.

As close as both a man and woman may become even in bond of marriage, or even using friends as example, we know lines can be crossed. (Do we?) Those places or circumstance where one oversteps and inserts themselves and even exerts themselves into matters an “other”, or the other sense an unlawful incursion. Oh yes, I can speak “for my wife” in many things, and she for me no less, but there are, and have been times where I must be reminded, as forcefully as needed, “You are not me!”. No matter how close we may get or be (and with friends, no less) once we allow a blurring to cloud our sight to such extent of presumption there must be a reestablishment of identity(s). Yes, we can get very close in a marriage, very close in a friendship so that even to an observer we appear as one, and we may even make such proclamation “we are one in marriage”…but in that relationship where others, even observers “are not” we cannot escape the necessity of knowing identity.

This is where paradox only seems and is assigned its place to being only of appearance. The paradox is only washed away in reality. And by the reality that is Christ.

It’s almost too simple as to not need any elucidating. Nevertheless I enjoy my liberty as I hope you, no less, enjoy yours. Simply…no matter how close, no matter how deep, no matter to what extent we proclaim our joining in and to the Lord, embrace our joining in the Lord, yes, even gloriously rejoice in our joining in the Lord, none of us is that very Lord, Jesus the Christ of God. He remains who He is, His identity secure…and even by Him and His work alone, is it that we (no matter how strongly we be knit together) not only find ours, but are given to maintain ours! O! but this seems even more paradoxical! Is this writer saying “A man doesn’t even know himself or his own identity till he be joined to Christ by Christ, and in Christ?”

Yes.

Nor does he know his brother(s). Or any, for that matter. Nor can he keep an identity, apart from this work.

If we consider what we have been given of Christ, and by Christ as our life, and our instructions for healthy pursuit (and handling, if you will) we may consider such as this in that light:

And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man’s, who shall give you that which is your own?

But as to identity, as to the “who’s who” in our relationships, we submit God has never had this matter as issue. He surely knows Himself fully, who and what He is, and even all things of creation, surely including anything of us. It is we who need light, not God. God who is all that light. Is it too far a stretch, or in sounding too condemnatory to say once we assumed our very selves to be…that god? We walked in our own light. Yes, to ourselves we once were. It took (and always takes) the work of God to establish to us…who we are, and who He is. We are creature and created thing, He is not. He is first in all and always, we are not (unless by some folly we still hold some persuasion we are responsible for Him and not He as responsible for all.)

But here is another thing we enter as we do in this establishment…we are granted to appreciate “other”. Oh yes, we can enjoy (and do) the many things and matters of which the arm of His salvation has secured (liberty being one)…but again, no matter how deeply this may extend to us, even in such sharing of, and by Him toward us…it is almost laughable to ask… no it is quite laughable, does that make any of us…God? Lord?

O! but you say, how ridiculous! Yes, indeed. But I will also assume (or is it presumption?) you are not unfamiliar with some who have gone about proclaiming (often ending under a psychiatrist’s care in some institution) “I am Jesus Christ!”

O! What we have entered! What we are called to! To even know God…as God…is no matter for slighting! Yes, we can recite and cite the scriptures as need be “Sanctify the Lord in your hearts”…”let” Him be continually set apart to all special place of preeminence. Reserve to Him (as even granted us by Him in such power toward us as gift to do so) such place of all exaltation, for truly it is this that keeps us from the insanity (and is therefore come to be seen more as gift) than a stridency of law uttered to us. Knowing Him, is what keeps us from the crazy. Despite how and to the world they would define it as.

This is what keeps us…from return descent into that abyss of crazy land. God gives us gift of preservation and prevention of such once confusion…and the truth of the matter is…the more He reveals of Himself…the very much more we know (even as we draw closer) “I am not…Him”.

It does seem almost paradox, no? Wouldn’t the lines have to get blurred? Wouldn’t being so strongly “in another” make confusion impossible to resist and be overcome by? But thankfully, gratefully, truthfully, “it” is all and only (our being in Him) what plainly shows and even delivers us from, the very confusion of our once estate to even hold such (now) obvious absurdity. No matter what authority, placement, knowing of being in Him we may see, enjoy, or be granted in Him, and by Him, none is ever less than for this working in us (O! you are God and I am not!) and sharing commonly with and to one another.

We “get to” love! We are granted such grace, such allowance to both know and enter into what we thought we all knew…till we met Him! And began our discipleship under His tutelage. We are student, He is Master. We are loved (and even know of it) only because He first loved us. He is the all in all, and we are blessed to know Him as that.

No one “around the throne” is either sorry about the activity of casting their crowns, nor confused as to Whom such is rightly cast. Without this, do we see, or better, with this (do we see) we are given such a great gift to worship, to adore, to, yes…reverence and appreciate a One beheld?

Do we need fresh eyes? Have you ever needed “fresh eyes” to see your wife…as she truly is, and not as she may have become to you “Oh, it’s just her…again” through the wearing thin of time’s constant beat toward familiarity? Yet…suddenly…we may find ourselves as men “taken out of time”…men delivered from all that is prone to “take for granted” a whole of creation that is perfectly formed…and not only so, but also being perfectly upheld to a precise end.

As surely as this works in us for and to God for our joy, so it does, and is, and must work in us toward one another…and absolutely no less! How humdrum and boring and monotonous with the dread rhythms of hell must all otherwise become!
And is!

In Christ each member is an unsearchable well of gift(ing). And how each is received and “handled” speaks both of what we have received…and what we may yet be in need of.

O! but does that sound too “high and mighty” of a man to say?

But I didn’t. A new man did, Even the new man, did.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

O! yes, when we see that man so prone to taking things for granted, for assuming to a presuming, for going along thinking in anything less than, or according to anything other than the reality of the newness of life…we meet him. Thanks be to God for the One who delivers us from his clutches! The only one who can deliver from such dire darkness and (of) presuming!

O! this salvation! O! this work of God in Christ to us, and for us!

Do we need fresh eyes…for God? For a wife? For a friend? For all and everything? Even…enemies as we may think them to be? God help us!

Do I pain you with too frank disclosure? Does it hurt a bit? It does, doesn’t it? But so you do not think there’s a wounding of unnecessary infliction to bring a man down a notch or two so he won’t be so hurtful, will you believe?

Will you believe a man who has seen his wife…as enemy? Is that not enough? Then God also and no less? His Christ, too? Seen Him as enemy…of some fault. (Never confuse responsibility for fault, lest you be found frankly demanding all responsibility be placed upon you…a responsibility one cannot bear to the showing of all faults of which one is unaware.)

Paul had it settled to him. There is no fault in Christ, and He is well able to take all responsibility for us.

We are weak. He is both faultless and responsible.

Too much?

Then be a help and knock a man down a notch or two. By lifting up another Man.

After all, it is no less than your calling in Him to do so. To be a help so.

Do you…can you, will you…love me?

Whatsoever you do as unto the least…

This is what a true friend has told me:

These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself: but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes.

Yes, it is enough a man, even any man, have one true friend who has such power as to cause one to live through this.

One friend is necessary. More friends are not unnecessary.

There are eyes before which I, and no man, can lie. He has His as He is who He is.

And His eyes are as a burning fire.

And I am what I am.

And you are what you are.

“Why so much about Paul?” is a fair question. Or why so much mention of him and the writings (are they revelations to any?) given through him with some obviously and comparatively less mention of some others? Good questions. Fair questions, if they exist in any other as they are not non-existent in me, also.

God knows.

No doubt this can appear a coy response if there are such questions. It does seem to be, in some sense, too handy a ploy or catch all; nevertheless I can only rest where God has allowed me. God knows.

Our all and only justification for things done, things not done, views and perspectives held vs whatever blindness remains, is only one, Jesus the Christ. We may see things, we may say things (we are even encouraged to it) but there is, for us, only one foundation upon which any can, or anything is that is, is standing. All things being upheld by the word of His power. Even folly when allowed.

Just as it is to me, and for me, impossible to distinguish in myself faith from presumption (I must be shown) or of those places where I have spoken too much, or too little, I cannot justify myself. Nevertheless, having the same spirit of faith, we speak. Even (even most particularly!) that when we speak not from faith but from presumption…we have faith of being corrected. Disciplined. Chastened. Rebuked. We have a Lord, we have a Father, diligent in and to such.

And even if or when we think we see guidelines and rules, as salubrious as they may sound or appear, we dare not trust in ourselves to their fulfilling. We are (strangely in this faith) made open to being shown all wrong and that…because of Christ, and only so, it is alright. Now, admittedly this sounds too much a way of carelessness and caprice, but how this is not so is for another book, for now. (How can it be made alright to be wrong?…yes…a very good question!)

Saying that, there is no explanation as to my knowing all, or any of my “why’s” I might present as explanation, must come short. Even to any question of “Why so much about Paul?” But we are to share what we see even of not knowing all (or any) of the why’s we have been given to see it…as to us in particular. We are told sight helps the whole body to the extent it is given by God through Christ. Yours, mine, and ours. If we deny this mutuality, then we are no less denying any mutuality in Christ and of Christ, whose body we are. All and anything given of God to any part in the knowledge of Christ in even the deepest and most closeted finding, builds up the whole. And all is for comfort, encouragement (yes!) even rebuke and if or as need be, chastening. We don’t get to choose at this buffet “I only came for the dessert cart”. We are eating all the Lamb.

That being said, what might be seen (rightly, or wrongly, God knows) of Paul? A man conspicuously chosen? Is that a thing seen? A man in such and particular state of mind as to be totally opposed (at least to himself) and going about to do all he could in his strength and by whatever means and authority available to him to wipe out the name of Jesus from among men by by bringing as many as possible of those who declared that name to prison and/or death? Is that a thing seen? A man in some experience of the very precise targeting of God to all particularly personal (O! so personal) experience… “Saul, Saul”! Is that a thing seen?

And here, may God help me. For you may see a “seem” inconsequential and I may be in all presumption of raising it, nevertheless…may it not be to anything but wholesome provocation for investigation. God knows. But here we have a man (if we believe) called, chosen, even under the most miraculous of circumstance (but is it ever less for any man?) included in and among a company as one “not having known” Jesus the Christ in the days of His flesh, who is included in this company and by this company who once, in seeking to determine how such would be chosen said:

Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us, must one be ordained to be a witness with us of his resurrection.

No, the case is not being made (nor can it) of any rule or constraint being made of the disciples called as apostles to “of whom” they must or only could, choose. Yet, they showed a persuasion that it ought to be of one who was physically with them (and Jesus)

all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us

There is no case they were mistaken in this, nor that the lot falling to Matthias was in any way less than God’s choosing. They had, these apostles, by prayer and all they knew to that time…sought to remove from their own hands and preference…any choice being made according to any of their own preference. This is no accusation of some falling short or error. But it shows disposition and even to whom they limited such choosing…(one who went in and out among them) which may surely have been according to God’s instruction to them.

But they encountered an “expansion”. (Do we?) When Paul’s revelation was presented, when Paul’s testimony heard, when Paul’s spirit was discerned as being in and of the spirit of Christ…and even as one quite particularly who had never accompanied Jesus (after the flesh), they (after the flesh), even once strenuously opposed (after the flesh)…with all this (is it a thing seen?)…he could not be denied his place in the body…and was indeed acknowledged as an apostle of no less standing nor stature than those who ate, drank, slept beside, walked dusty roads, “heard” Jesus through compressions of air expelled over vocal cords, witnessed overturned merchants tables, than any other.

This (dare it be said?) “should” hold no less wonder nor lack of glorious praise (in its form) from us as it once did from a “them”:

But they had heard only, That he which persecuted us in times past now preacheth the faith which once he destroyed. And they glorified God in me.

Do you ever think of yourself at some remove? Consider that in some way you (or I) are disadvantaged by time and/or circumstance? That a “something” more manifestly displayed in power and glory happened in “a then” and according to some (even if minutely) different working than discerned in some “now”?

Yes, to me, Paul speaks (and is even a wonderful example of all hope) against such folly I have often given myself to.

And yes, Peter does no less. John does no less. Even their chastening and rebuke against such folly cannot be denied. They too came to well understand what man understood about the frailty and unprofitability of the flesh according to its own knowing:

Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more. 2 Cor 5:16

Odd, right? At least in some way, right? Paul wrote this (or was given it to write) even sounding as though he were one claiming to have once known Jesus “after the flesh” in that “we”. But we know he wasn’t in the common sense of knowing as once the other apostles also knew Him, what His feet looked like after a dusty walk, what His breath smelled like up close, what His height was compared among them. NO. Not that at all. Yet he still wrote “we” to include himself as one once knowing after the flesh.

Yes, paul understood something of an enlightening necessary worked even curiosuly and strongly in himself…to all dissuasion against “knowing after the flesh” and all persuasion to knowing only after the spirit.

And, thanks be to God what was worked in him as one “born out of time” to lay hold, grasp, secure by true testimony that “what is for one, is no less than for all”.

And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

The sufferings of Christ and the honor upon Jesus the Christ is/was enough to transport him.

God forbid we think otherwise in any way.