When considering this matter of identities, as with all matters the Lord would make clear to us, we cannot escape the matter of apparent paradox(es). Seeming paradox(es). Seeming contradictions. O! we might very much prefer it not be so, especially at those points in which they are met in all the confounding by which they bind the mind of the natural. But, if we confess it, can we then deny it; that there is need for mind’s renewal? Even to this matter of apparent paradox(es)? Especially to and of ourselves if we are to be in any way, honest? For we may find we have little or no peace at all otherwise in seeking out the reconciliation with the God who desires truth in the inward parts and whom is only made known to us through Jesus, His Christ.
Even the above holds some point, even a very salient point, for the purpose of a righteous contention. A need for a smoothing out, settling, clarity. For by faith (specifically the faith of the Son of God) we have received such reconciliation as a matter accomplished already, finished, complete and perfect. Done for us as a gift to us; that we dare not seek to add to nor foolishly think enhancement is in our hands to accomplish, the which will in truth (if seeking to embellish) only accomplish a degradation…not of the gift which is from above and untouchable and un-subject to degrading, but of estate of mind displayed in such degradation.
Yes, we can fall…further. And we are strenuously warned against it, God help us. Not forgetting, (God forbid!) it is His good pleasure to help us. Even with all warnings and cautions. See? Even here I, no more than any, can escape a frank confrontation with a matter requiring not some, but all the light and grace there is for reconciling. For even in such admission of needing all, this cannot be used as lever or leverage to control God’s dispensing.
An apostle confronted the same. If where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more…the natural mind sets up the equation falsely…that encouragement of, or to sin is implicitly the lever to pull to see more grace or have it more abound.. But let’s face it, there is a one great thing we might all know of ourselves…there’s no help required nor encouragement needed as provided by any argument or contention to encourage our sinning. It is ample enough, as is. Can a man be honest before God? Or better, perhaps, before those eyes who cannot but tell the truth on themselves? For even if attempting to lie…we truly show ourselves…liars. And so truth must out, always…before those eyes. Do we believe this?
Therefore in this matter of selves and identity (including identification) it becomes plain. One knows all, sees all, understands to all and any depths..all…and a one who does not. We can surely go onto say one is of all righteousness and holiness while another is in desperate need of these. One cannot lie…while another even if seeking to, cannot but make himself plain. One is in all control and dominion over all created things even to Heaven and earth…while another is one of those created things. Identity of each should be rather plain to the disciple.
But here is where the expression of such is not, nor can ever, nor will ever be a matter of mere words. Yes the words are simple enough that in all simplicity a child can grasp in some understanding when presented “I am me and you are you”…”you are baby boy (or girl), and I am daddy”. But we know something (don’t we?) even of pretending, how that child may grow, slip into oversize shoes not his own and slog around the house, deepening his voice and saying “I am daddy”. Or even “the” daddy.
We will not here touch too much upon the possibilities in this predilection and their two very different expressions of motive. For one may be a toward a more healthy (or less odious) desire to imitate, while another may be of desire to usurp and replace. There can even be a mix of the two. For if a father is a so called “good” father, it is not as deserving of harsh rebuke that child have desire to be like him when usurpation also lay just around the corner. But he must be warned. It is enough we consider Adam, and his (even our own) predilections. Irked at being clay? A created thing? Enough said about that for now.
Identity is always in play. And to be considered.
And so it is an apostle expressed quite a matter (and I am convinced, sought to) as invitation to understanding of a matter in his experience that is not, and was not, a matter of mere words. No matter how often they may be rotely repeated until they are not. But because his expression was intensely personal (as we see) and remarkably so…this matter itself helps serve in the matter of identity. None of us are Paul, but we sure may have desire to know what he knows (or knew) and presented. Such can even be a Godly jealousy, provoked…to have what another does and provoked of depths and glories sensed in the words.
But lest we imagine Paul himself did not have some matter of contending with apparent paradox and weaknesses of mere words that are in total dependence for spirit’s informing, we can consider. For unless the spirit inhabit and disclose the words, (as no less for a man) matters must remain obscure. Things are for us and to us always in need of resolution surely, and with as much confidence we can have that the spirit will do, and does no less than that; despite any seeming contradiction.
Appreciation of a matter must include (if it be rightly to a just balance) all of the matter.
I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives within in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.
It is only because the seeming “second” sentence is true (do you believe it?) that what appears as first there can be shown us, made true to us and in us.
Who loved me and gave Himself for me.
Too personal? Too exclusive? Too much a “place” where no man but Christ can bring “another”? In so much verity that it becomes plain all the impossibility of man to accomplish is now broadly on display without contradiction?
Wonderful. Even too wonderful.
Vision and focus are being narrowed to a perfect narrowing…where only Christ can be of hope and help. Not of theory, not of filmy nor diaphanous substance constructed of mere words…but of eternal and (O!) so weighty substance…to you, in you, for you.
If one is of Christ this is all and only and ever has been…sole pursuit, sole of seeking after, sole of finding, sole of reminder, sole of consequence to rebuke(s)…even in and through all things appointed of God for our experience(s) and any understanding.
O! but we may rightly say “I have seen my many mistakes”, “I have seen my many of fallings short” “I have seen my many many errors in thoughts and practice…even while seeking to be a faithful seeker”.
“I cannot deny my utter weakness and weaknesses”
Cool. Now you are free to boast of them.
And the words are both the frame and the framing for that house, and even a city being built together, whose builder and maker are God.
And by the grace of God you are what you are. A man.
Free from all once striving to show yourself more than that.
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