Were I, or any man for that matter, to attempt to describe, define, or in any way compass about with words the mercy of God, he should find himself very much lost at sea. The very things (such words) that, at best, might only and barely hint at this reality are themselves gifts of inexhaustible resource. It is as though if reaching to describe this sea he dipped in to the sea to retrieve some of its substance to describe or explain…he was now found only increasing its expanse to him. He must, and would, always find more whether taking a teaspoonful to expand upon, or sinking his vessel whole to become one with it.
In so many other matters not reaching the end of a thing is frustrating…but this…which cannot be plumbed to depths, searched to end(s) of height or breadth, are to the believer’s great joy. Here…in the most real sense of not knowing, such is turned from what man views as fault or limit to its right description. A fullness of such magnitude to only inspire wonder. Mercy is always surprising in its revelation(s) of depth. One who seems or wishes here to appear unfazed will find both his wishes and his appearance overturned. And this without regret. There is good reason the apostle described himself as being beside himself (out of his mind) to the Lord. Hilarious joy does not begin to describe.
But, if we can, let’s be honest about ourselves…and, if we are men, then honest about man. Mentioning what seems inescapable for man in the last section (29) must surely include his resistance to being told how things are. More than that even, his downright rebellion at such. He must know for himself…from child to most aged elder, there’s something driving to know that goes beyond any settling for what appears receiving second hand. And there is a great mystery here, both pertaining to ourselves and the workings of ourselves. Created to know of matters often carries with it a nuance rarely considered. And if a man believes he knows anything, anything at all, (whether he concede he is a thing created to such), he knows the firmest proof of all (to him) is by experience or personal experiment.
Before continuing with this let us get certain arguments out of the way. One could easily say the man who places himself under some tutelage, and willingly, puts the lie to the above. The surgical student, the law student, art student, the apprentice carpenter or bricklayer, the disciple of any form that volunteers to enter study and instruction will not get (and does not get) very far if always resisting instruction. But, he does this, or enters this position of such a willingness that is all and only motivated by an end. He does not “sign up” to be a student forever, his hope is to trade this submission to instruction for a goal…that goal being the liberty to practice (and know for himself) as practitioner of those things he has been instructed in. I will know what it means to be a surgeon, lawyer, fine artist, carpenter, bricklayer…for myself. I will graduate and then be one. Even one able then to “show I know”.
These rites of passage, even rituals to attain to practice (for every discipline has its standards of practice) are constantly being taught all along the way. And so every instructor is no more free of them than any student; for what is held up as best practice (or to the extreme perfection of practice) is the very foundation upon which, and to which, instructors owe their standing as instructors (teaching principles) and adherence. They continue only so long as they uphold these unless they can adequately demonstrate in exercise an expertise that exceeds, and is shown acceptable to their revision.
And, in the world, many a once student is acknowledged as having gone on and farther than even their once tutors. Far more are familiar with the name Da Vinci than Andrea del Verrocchio. And who can name any of Tesla’s teachers? Edison’s? Oppenheimer’s? Maimonedes’? Wright’s? (Both Orville and Wilbur and Frank Lloyd)
But for the believer their tutor is Himself well beyond the very bold. He lays claim to being above all systems of practice to Himself as being the fulfillment of all it means to be a man in the earth. And He is quite clear all is born of relationship here, nothing is done apart from it, no matter whether practice appears beneficial or acceptable to others by whatever standards they may apply. He remains above systems…even stating in His fulfillment “It is enough (cannot be exceeded) the disciple be as his Master”. Yes, very bold. Yes, a man who by relationship, puts practice and practices in their place. And He is full time at this.
You see, right? Many see (or hear) only the principles in Christ’s teachings and ministry and, as mentioned elsewhere, even many a staunch resister may admit “Well yes, I think Christ spoke many good things and recommended to them”. But any stopping short of Christ Himself being in all Principle, First and only, preeminent in all, leaves one very short (read: completely short) of all these matters taught as to their right end. To Christ alone. “Unless you believe I am He, you shall die in your sins”, Christ is not teaching stuff, but always giving Himself…the very substance of any knowing. And knowing truth.
An aside here by disclaimer. I learned “for myself” early on how little I liked school and schooling. Where some seemed to take to it like a fish to water, I hated it. I resented and resisted its claims upon me though all about me were very convincing (enough to get me to go along without quitting too early) but in my mind I was quite quit of it. And homework was the ultimate insult to my freedom, laying claim of time by extension from a place I was convinced already consumed too much of it. I so rarely did it (but only grudgingly under deepest threats perceived or rewards enhanced) that I could not but marvel at those always prepared, always willing to raise a hand to read their composition or give answer according to some reading assignment or such. Who were “these people”…and how were they so different? I who sunk down to avoid being called upon. To avoid a shame of not knowing in that circumstance…but a shame that never quite took good enough hold to get me to amend my ways. I was constitutionally averse…a rebel to both it and all its function. And perhaps you were not. I needed all the chastening to get by…while you were one who appeared to “love learning” and was amenable to such obedience and the disciplines…I was not.
And I learned to hurriedly copy homework from friends in the early mornings, and/or lab reports, lists of assigned math problems and the like to game a system for which I had not the least respect. All were too easily fooled by a faux student who may have appeared to sit under…but inwardly was always standing. And standing in resistance. But cleverness only goes so far.
And the above is as frank as I can, or care to, make it at this time. Yes, there were some very few classes I did enjoy…yet overall to me they were so rare as to only enforce my constitutional revulsion by exception. As a rule is often proved by such exceptions. Finding a pearl in a dung heap does not easily turn a soul to then wanting more dung to explore. Though I surely did not experience much beyond a very superficial understanding of being owned by a system is moot; I can still declare without fear of contradiction, no one ever hated it more. Resented it more, was more a rebel to it…more. If not outwardly, God knows what all was taking place inwardly. I hated being owned…yet everything testified to it.
And this digression is a great self indulgence, even greater perhaps than any assumption that any of what I write might even be read. Or is even worthy to be…read. Nothing I can offer justifies my being who and what I am…for I have learned it is my “I” in need of a justification being given…that I either enjoy…or resist.
And were I to say (as a teacher might) “resistance has consequences” (as foolish as I am) I am not so foolish as to think anyone would take my word for it. Each would have to know for themselves. And as I learned…none escapes homework.
School (and schooling) does indeed follow us home. We don’t have enough to deny it by resistance.
And such resistance…only proves a rule.
There is an instructor. A head.
And things under.
Instruction.
And even though many may take exception to this, this only serves to prove the rule(r).
(He said few would believe)
Are you yet overjoyed with the gift you have been given to do so? To believe?
For even instructors are instructed. With such following to the very heart of home.
Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;
To free from all system(s) He endured them without complaint or rebellion against them. Perfect submission overthrows all of system(s) to establish relationship. Even as in Him, for us.
And
It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. (Though he hate it so)
To even learn of another whose yoke to bear is with another, and one quite glad of its imposition.
Jesus Christ has no regret in all His suffering. No resentment nor rebellion to. He knows/knew to Whom He is/was always yoked.
With no space between.
Yet would say “The Father is greater than I”
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