As with many matters considered and confessed elsewhere, I cannot escape again acknowledging to painting a rather bleak picture of man in his own estate. And with less doubt that the religious would not only see it so, but by extension, find some worm in these contentions that then points to “their god”. Only a malevolent and evil god could make man to know all frustration in any seeking or trying to be good…or have a good move of his own to present.
And if those religious are of some christian persuasion, this is often to them all the more heinous and odious. But there is patience available that is not one’s own, to be called upon for the growing in. And again, with little or no doubt there is some umbrage at the references made to men like Shakespeare…or mention of others, philosophers, playwrights, or writers of the existential or even absurdist ilk. But men often intuit and say things of which they may not be aware in the broader sense, that include a spiritual inkling or reference. They may sense some so called existential quagmire inescapable, some absurdity of a consciousness that both holds a sense of timelessness in an extremely time limited experience. Or some sense of good and evil at raging war within that, rather than be confronted in naked light they continue to seek to resolve to some seeking of doing good to quiet their conscience.
Another man came to see it and speak of it, yes, even in the Bible. Something (or someone) had made him unafraid of this frank confrontation with himself in his estate as man. And though his almost uninterrupted trumpeting of this someone that had made him unafraid, he could not neglect this light that let him see himself in that starkest of light. He is not only unable at all to produce or do anything “good”…but even that which he would acknowledge as the not good, or evil, he would acknowledge as to be shunned, he is held captive to. He is reduced to finding the utmost of all law by which his will is captured. But he also knows the very light that has allowed him to see this, is the very means by which he is delivered from the condemnation of seeing it in himself…and knowing it without doubt.
He is the wretched man who has been given escape…not by his ability to good, or even now to do good as that new creature (of itself)…but that the only good of the only good doer of all, has prevailed on his behalf. He is un-condemned by that someone who has worked all on his behalf to free him from the condemnation of that law at work in his members. The conscience and consciousness of his inalienable inability toward anything but evil, has been sprinkled by another’s blood. He is found guiltless for his estate. Justified in it by such faith that another has done this for him. And he knows this faith is neither mustered up nor fabricated for then his guilt is only added to as liar in this regard.
He (the apostle Paul) even faces the question or proposition that issues from the claims of some that the dead are not raised. For if they are not, than neither is Christ, and we are yet lost to our sin and estate…and further, make God a liar by preaching so. The resurrection for him is both foundation and beyond indispensable necessity. And true. Not part of a happy story or superstition.
And here, where matters of truth become paramount to a man, even made so by his full admission of his own wretchedness and estate, is where the believer is called. It is not nor ever a call to matter we would call religion, nor even christianity or (God forbid) what is called a “christian worldview”, but to a person, alive. One who admits to being once dead, but is now alive…and fully so. And, as an alive man, even the alive man as back from the dead, speaks.
There is no part of this that is not wondrous in all measures. Every seeming part that might appear as being able to be separated out, examined to some degree or other, or have doctrines set about it to support, one finds is actually a seamless whole. There is no knowing of how desperately wicked a man is apart from some revelation, some gift of light from the giver of light.
No man can come to this of his own will or desire to know…for he must also see an ensuing pride that accompanies such grasp of this knowing were he to attain to it of himself. And for those still stuck in such experiment to prove any part fallacy, or error, particularly in this; as though setting himself to the discovery of at least one good thing about man or particularly himself, he will only find either frustration or self delusion. Happy can be the man who finds perfect frustration, and just as much so, happy is the man who finds how easily he deludes himself. For such knowing will not come apart from light. Inasmuch as he may desire to, will himself to, seek of himself to, that is find one good thing to present or suitable for a presentation…there is none.
Too bleak it seems. And too bleak it is, but for that light.
It is the light that has proved me incapable of one good move. In all my chess playing, all my seeking to game both others and particularly then carrying this game to God Himself, I am exposed. With all intent and expectation in all my moves to elicit a directing of another, a restriction to an anticipated and desired response (read: control) I have been proved to have none. To play is to deem oneself worthy of getting that right (read:desired) response if the move is good enough.
Oh, yes, God has always known me as one considering himself good enough to play. His plan is perfect to its end. I have only been evil enough to play. And in some light of that’s appearing, He who alone can give choice out of His unspeakable liberty, constrained by none, unrestricted by any, by hand unable to be forced or in any way bounded, shows His delight in showing mercy.
Paul came rather late to his own confession of being chiefest of sinners. There is nothing of sorrow in it for he understood only the light given had let him see so clearly. And such light made mercy clearer still. So much so he endorsed the saying of it as faithful and worthy of all acceptance, even to those still caught in their own experiments. Those not yet appreciating, or even seeking escape from that place of knowing mercy as all of necessity to themselves. No man can make another see or accept this.
For we are man who knows not what he does.
And that is the man Jesus plead mercy for.
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