If we consider patience, and that particularly spoken of as being the Lord’s in Paul’s esteem that it be counted as salvation, we may find the matter of consequence(s) (or what we consider such) in far greater proximity to truth and truths than first we understood.
I have some inkling that we all, in one way or another, suffer under the burden of time. It may be the barest of sensing, nevertheless I will not deny it. And what next I say I say with some trepidation and in whatever fear of the Lord I also sense as having been granted me, even so is the Lord’s goodness. It is a hard thing to say for it is open wide to all rebuke, but I dare not be moved (or even restricted) by anything so craven as fear of rebuke. What might ordinarily be called “getting in trouble with God”. For “with God” is a thing I have found I cannot escape, even as trouble is for a time appointed; the only matter ever at hand is “is it the right trouble?” By many tribulations…we enter.
This “eternal weight of glory” that Paul speaks of, and of which Jesus, God’s Christ, is the full manifestation…is it not heavy indeed? Who hasn’t felt some pressing under it? A pressing to conformity, a pressure in molding, even a certain woe perceived accompanying its absolute call to discharge…as in “woe to me if I preach not the gospel!”. Paul felt/sensed/knew (have you? do we?) a matter of necessity:
For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!
Beyond, even well beyond, (for I hope to speak to those of some maturity) is any consideration that any preaching adds any merit or “goodness” to any. Paul is quite plain about self glorying in any relationship to this. “No, I am not good or better or in any way able to find any attribution for such as I might glory in…’I have to’ preach!” Necessity…is laid upon me.
And I am rather convinced that this equation (if you will) is not unsound…it is the very glory (and goodness of Christ Himself) that lays such weight upon a man. The call of it, the sight of it, the vision of it, the revelation of it, the sheer weight of it in truth…has in itself that very compelling to necessity. We cannot speak but of that which we have seen and are seeing. Even learning. Which, we come to find, all men are already assigned.
Everyone (even every thing) is “giving off” expression according to their sight and understanding. All things in the creation hold expression of what they are. Even of necessity. From the most debased (as we might consider) to the most aged and pious saint. Nothing escapes assignment to this. No thing. Paul is in essence saying “I am a thing now created to preach the gospel, and I cannot escape it”. Necessity is laid upon me. O! but this is far different than the man who meets the Lord and recalls before Him what he thinks has been his good work! Have we not prophesied…done many mighty works…”look at my record!”.
Yet, what does the Lord say?
By the grace of God I am what I am…is all Paul can say. And I am no less persuaded such apprehension does not come “apart from” nor separate from this knowing…”even if I am set to be all of warning, even a cautionary tale, all of what or how a man should not be…if God in His infinite wisdom has set me to that…then it is all by His grace He does so…in some benefit that only grace can accomplish on behalf of His beloved of Christ.
Yes…a sober man does not “want to” appear outside…but a sober man also knows his own preferences here are as nothing…but for Christ’s work (and working) on his behalf. How God whittles down to truth! All is being taken that must be taken…till (in all hope) only the glory of the Christ of God be known. Talk about…weight!
No wonder Paul said “who is equal to such a task?” Man (who is not God) made to bear this weight…who alone can “do anything about it?” …but God? And so we find ourselves being whittled in this matter, even of all seeming contradiction(s)…even as the sculptor was asked “How do you make a sculpture of an elephant?”
Simple.
“I take away all the parts that don’t look like an elephant”
And God is making a man in us.
In all patience…because He sees Him there and will do no damage to the vision.
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