“Preach it!” we may hear. “Go and preach it” heard as such command we find now a burden laid upon us…even such as “woe to me if I preach not the gospel”. Oh, yes, do not doubt or think you are the only one who has even felt this…a compelling, a necessity, a being driven to a thing. Even such as could be described as overwhelming. And one then enters into experience and experiences. Real experiences, without doubt. Things happen. Even unexpected things, some unwanted things, such things as (if we are forced to honesty) we “never saw coming”.
Oh, we were told they would come, we were told to be ready for their happening and to not be dismayed when they do…but…nevertheless we are. Or we could lie. Yes we can. We could try and present ourselves as those who have never been surprised, never been shocked or in any way “caught off guard”, as those who have “always known”. In short, an expert.
But God knows. God knows all the times we have met with frustration, even such fierce resistance coming from quarters unexpected that vex us, rebukes, chastenings and the like that we may eventually be even moved to tears before Him. And that is the good end, even the best we may come to.
The “bad” one is to develop some intransigence, some hardening, some self convincing that in (what we think) is our sole desire to do what is right and be obedient…”all the stiffneckedness” is out there…and in others. Where our only comfort is in our own self pity. Do I lie? Is Elijah’s experience too quaint to us? “I’m the only one left and now they seek my life”? Or Moses…smiting the rock?
(Do you think that in their appearing with our Lord on that mountain and the speaking of His upcoming demise…Jesus was not considering…lessons? Might both Moses and Elijah hold “lessons”? Or was it appeal? “Remember who you are, you are not like us or as we were…you Lord, are our hope!” Could that even be? “We can tell you how sorely tempted you will be to self pity and an ungodly anger…but…you are the hope of all Israel…yes…even see us in our weakness…and know why we so depend upon you to be who you are” Could that even be? “You Lord, are the Lord. Made in flesh like us…but not like us”)
Do I speculate? God knows. Do I “project” upon Moses and Elijah a self pitying attitude (or tendency toward it) that is really only in me? God knows. But we do know a voice came in response to what seemed a “reasonable” suggestion (as Moses and Elijah also stood very great as with the Lord in some eyes) “Let us make three tabernacles…” But a voice came to the setting apart of that Son from those servants. How very good it did. And still does…to separate that Son in our esteems. Have you heard it?
Yes, being made like Messiah Yeshua is a work of all patience…just as keeping us from any “messianic complex” does. Sanctify the Lord in your heart…(but don’t worry…there’s all the help there is working to that end in you, if you are His.) A helper, devoted to help. He can even help us learn to abandon all self comforting lies! Talk about miraculous power and working! That a man might be made to receive this thing he once so hated…even the love of the truth! Oh, yes, power indeed.
“Let patience have her perfect work” is a well needed caution to get out of the way of inhibiting, short circuiting, or seeking to short cut. But again…don’t worry…(why would, or how could… salvation have worry in it?) you have a Father who sees, a Father who knows and understands. And works in all patience. So patient indeed that He is able to work in one who holds all presumption to a conforming to another…even One without any presumptuousness in Him.
To say He is fully devoted to our understanding of this gospel we may preach is akin to understatement. This conforming to His Son as the very heart of all things of the gospel is no small work, and something no less than God Himself accomplishes. None less than God could…or would. Even with all…of Himself. (What is the gospel but the very testimony of that giving? God’s giving of all of Himself through Jesus the Christ to man’s salvation?)
To admit we are always looking for some comfort may be a large confession or very small one indeed. God knows. And God also knows all our ways of seeking to short cut to it. I can accuse no other of this without incriminating myself (as no less a man) so rather I have found it safer (even been forced to see it so) to make it only as a confession. And where such a man (as myself) may have held all wrong inferences (read:presumptions) in this matter of the gospel and even its preaching, I can only confess for myself.
The short cut I took to comfort was assuming any call to preach or share was as testimony to my own having it so well in order in able to do so. What once was my own obvious conclusions have all been quite shattered by a hand under which I cannot escape. Call it mighty. And so the comfort I took to myself in that command was “obviously I must know something” for this One to be telling me to “go” or do. If He tells me to build a bridge…then…obviously He must see me as a “good” (or good enough) bridge builder.
Little did I know (O! how very little did I know!) the end of this telling “to go” was only to the end that I might even begin to learn the all of which I did not know…but once presumed to. I was not told to “go” because I am (or was) expert, or good at, or even know. I was told to “go” to find out the all I did not know as I ought. I am quite persuaded that in His mercy and patience and grace that He did not, nor would He in all his knowing…not know…how a man like that would have received “go, because you really don’t know a thing, but tell of me.”
No, (or yes) He is merciful.
And, after all, who doesn’t (or wouldn’t) want to be seated next to or very close to the Christ of God if catching any glimpse? Who doesn’t like being “in tight” with the power of all power?
O! but the way is different than first thought. So very, very different than that man could have even apprehended when responding to “are you able to drink of my cup?” Yes, I am able! Send me, send me! I am able.
Oh, but there is so much laughter. So much laughter, thanks be to God!
You will indeed drink of my cup.
When this cross we preach, this way of salvation that is made for us as to us…comes in that “to us” as to us… man Lord! I had no idea! I am not good at this at all, it breaks me, it leaves me wondering if you are even in it with me, it makes me cry out as never before, like a baby, like an lost and abandoned child……no Lord, I am not good at this…at all. Lord! Lord! I am not good at all. Lord, forgive me…I did not know. No, not at all.
Or, (God forbid) we could pretend to be “good” at it.
“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”
And I once always thought “they” was someone else.
And God knows what remains of that.
Thanks be to God His patience is salvation. And can be counted so.
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