A man may speak in boldness or presumption, and to be true I am persuaded; I must confess I do not know my own manner in these things nor am I less than convinced those are the only estates any man may occupy. Faith spoken in the earth is very bold, refuting the seems of things, and presumption born of lie in the man is to the end of supporting such seems, such mere appearances. Self has great self interest in support and persistence of that self to upholding a status quo (by which it believes its identity to its self is secured; which is lie) but faith is always about a piercing through of veil to touch the real, and by touch secure, and by secure to apprehend.
And piercing things is never less than bold, or piercing through things (if better understood) is always resisted by that through which such piercing is taking place. All things in creation are given to an unutterable inertia to remain as they are. They resist both change and movement from place lest a stronger hand from outside the creation upsetting such a law intervenes…which in the creation, and to the creation, first appears as interference with it.
“Do not poke the bear” we either often hear, or say.
But such is our faith. A matter (even a true and eternal matter) given into the creation for quite an upsetting. Even to the end of a setting of up, a restoration of order to uplooking, a setting of things to right side up rather than the previously persistent upside down of things…with things looking only to themselves for identity and measuring all else according to these false scales. Enmeshed in looking only to self in such fall and falling, a descent is reinforced as though in irremediable and endless feedback loop to a grasping at anything in the creation for stop. Will all please stop! Stop!…that I might think and appraise…clearly! Stop…that I might find center, and centering.
But “it” does not. For on every side we are aware of assault. Encroaching to a diminishing. And so we gather our “forces”.
Success appears or wealth…(in whatever myriad form[s]) “Ahh! that might take my mind off this failing and falling.” Pleasure(s) in whatever form might keep at bay such unnuterably deep knowing of being pursued by, and to an abyss. And so things are grasped at, doggedly pursued and heaped to acquisition till they pale, and things then, only further down found in descent, are also reached for. And thus also dragging down with it a whole creation. And yes, even knowledge or so called “man’s wisdom”, does debauch us. Nevertheless the more doggedly we pursue, we find ourselves pursued, for dreams do come over which our own control and say prove utterly ineffective. Yes, there is a speaking and reminder…from deep and depths beyond our reigning. And ability to rein in.
And a veil is calling for piercing. Even screaming for it…to the precise measure of its resistance to it. We do not know our own end. For of ourselves we cannot know our beginning…that place where once we were not to ourselves, but came into the perception of knowing ourselves as ourselves. We know only enough to be terrified; terrified both by what we do know, and no less terrified at our lack of knowing.
Our identity, which we are always striving to both preserve and secure to ourselves is always in utter flux by an assault of things upon it, and things over which we have no control. For success “forms us” no less than trauma, and a kiss no less than a punch in the mouth. We would like to think we are “our own”…but there is a manifest debt owed in any thus claiming. We find that as much as we might like to think of ourselves as initiators, as doers, as active agents…as “free”…we are in all obligation as only reactors. We are trapped in ourselves in being in, and of the creation; and as far from a clean slate upon which truth may be seen as written and written clearly to any understanding to a knowing, unless there be an intervention.
Our center, that bull’s eye, that target off of which kisses and punches rebound as hitting to set the rest to some order in ourselves and to ourselves, cannot be seen nor found in us; for it is the fundament from which all else springs…even investigations and any seeing or desire to see, and the eye cannot see itself. Only else. Only, other.
But if you are a stranger to yourself as all men ultimately are, the one they claim to be “at home with” as if knowing himself better than he could ever be known…there is hope, even hope for that intervention.
I never know if it is the boldness of faith, or the presumption of sin by which I speak until it is made known to me when speaking of things that are not. Yet, to speak of things which are no less is holding a rebuke of things that only seem to be, or hold some propped up opinion of themselves for their being to assume a stance (as though being like God) as self sustained. And self sustaining. As being real, eternal, and true in its (or their) nature and to its nature…even to the exposing of “its” fundament.
And so when I am boldly moved to say there is hope as a matter that is; and where such hope is found as in He who is, I cannot escape my own not knowing that to speak of things that be not that hope, even if strenuously presented by others as holding that hope, whether I am acting or merely…reacting. I have no bone (that I know of) to pick with christianity anymore than I have with any other religion or religions, they are in their assignment of place as thing or things.
But the hope I have found is not in a thing or things, but in the maker of all thing…and things and so I am not shy to say one’s hope does not either lie in christianity nor even in “being a christian” such as it may be declared, defined, or understood.
The call that comes is from the One who alone hears the call (the cry, the scream) of the veil for piercing and also alone fully knows the resistance in such desire to it. The veil must be removed…even in all its want not to be. And He accomplished this…in Himself.
No the call is not from nor to “being a christian”, nor a member of christianity. Though many seemed unashamed to issue it. They have their assigning.
The call, if you hear it…is of Him alone, Jesus the Christ of God. And if you hear it, let “it” do its work, nothing hindering.
Even…christianity.
It is neither real, nor eternal, but He is.
And He…is not a christian.
He is the Christ of God. He will show you a clean slate…to see, to read, to understand, to even know.
And He alone does this, and this is God’s work, and it is marvelous in our eyes.
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