Month: February 2025

If continuing with this matter of surprise and being surprised (or shocked, depending) that is, being moved from that place in which we thought we knew, to something other and astounding, we would be (or I who maintain it, at least) quite foolish to imagine there are no testimonies to it from others.

And though I am more than content in, and even pressed often to acknowledge, my experience(s) in the faith of the Son of God are rife with them, even to such point of saying “My faith most usually proves me wrong”. And if I were the only one so, I could not help but think myself exceptional.

And likewise I cannot deny there is an earthy and natural impetus to that, that the man in Christ may discover about man; he rarely considers himself common. He wants to have a chief seat (if not the chief seat), be singularly acknowledged (for what he considers the singularity of himself) and rise above what to him is often “the common mass of men” however he describes them. From rat catcher to brain surgeon, few might deny there is a natural inclination to seek after distinguishing one’s self. Or even embracing some notion to themselves that they have achieved that. Yep, it’s silly to say for its ubiquity, we are all already with a built in sense of being special and motive to see it known amongst others that we not be lost in the crush.

Yeah, I’d be a fool to say I’m immune to it even if able to describe it, or just because I can see it. I may be more striving to be exceptional (and using many ruses) than I know at all, and wouldn’t that be a big surprise? That thinking I know something of vanity so well, only to have that fool’s crown won to myself! Yet I think some might be able to hear something of this intimated in this clever quip once found:

“The problem with the average man is that he does not believe himself average”

And, if understood in certain and particular term of it being problem, then one might as easily understand this bit ascribed to TS Eliot:

Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm; but the harm does not interest them.

And just because I (or any one) as a believer might have some appreciation of our Lord’s embrace of the cross…even marveling at it (even His harmlessness in it) and His work of humility in embracing it, does not mean that in one’s self he yet knows the full extent of that thoroughness.

By way of fair disclosure, I have been employed as an actor for almost every moment of my life, and so, if auditioning before the chiefest of Directors calling for a certain thing I might merely be the fool who says…”Sure, I can do humility”. (As I can do happy, or sad, ecstatic, depressed, exultant, terrified, bold, timorous; I have a whole arsenal equipped for whatever a scene calls for)

But, as one may find, this Director is not at all impressed, nor even discouraged by such a one seeking to show off his wares, “Don’t worry, I well get from you precisely as I desire for the part” And if we have a part, even as member of this body, we will encounter elders who can see through our rusing (on page or in person) and, if needing even more direct direction, that Director is not too timid to step right on to our stage, in the midst of what we may think our most excellent performance and say: (again as TS Eliot may bear quoting)

“That is not what I meant at all; That is not it, at all.”

For as another has written:

Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

We may know a little bit about a couple named Ananias and Saphira and their attempt at doing generosity. Or, a man may discover he doesn’t have to look to ancient pages.

“Knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men.” Another wrote who, generally amongst us, is not described as ignorant. But he, still able to say:

“Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.” (No matter what garlands we may seek to heap upon his head in our somber ceremonies or from pulpits spouting with many thunderous quotes)

Thankfully, such a one also wrote:

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am” Settled as it were into knowing himself as nothing more than a made thing in the hand of another, against which nothing can exact or avail by any feigning, and to which nothing can be added for attaining by striving.

And so as to this matter of surprise, I used to think such a thing as that:

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am”

was reserved to the savant, the expert practitioner, the “guru” of the faith (if you will), and only utterable by the most advanced in true piety as to almost be beyond reach. Imagine my surprise to discover it is the confession of a common man, knowing himself to be common, even common as dust…being swirled and moved only by a gracious wind. Something (or better, someone) in working him up, had whittled him down, dissolved himself within as to himself to knowing himself as nothing, that his testimony would always be to that grace. And the giver of that grace.

So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

“neither is he that planteth any thing”

Was he…”putting on a show” and doing humility?

I’m persuaded he, that man, encountered many surprises in discovering who God is, how He works, and what He might do to, or with a man. Was he doing ecstatic when he said/wrote:

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

What might have been (does it need considering?) his frame here in hearing answer to this question:

“Who are you, Lord?”

Or we might consider others, who, even already being told of all that would transpire were not reproved in their surprise and being found:

And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?

Or Peter’s discovery after yielding in some obedience, (though they had already been told at the ascension)

While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost.

along with this:

Forasmuch then as God gave them the like gift as he did unto us, who believed on the Lord Jesus Christ; what was I, that I could withstand God? When they heard these things, they held their peace, and glorified God, saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.

they held their peace, and glorified God

It appears a not unusual thing for some? many? all? to be surprised at things.
Even such things of glory entirely and previously…unexpected.

Even that, no matter what a man may think he knows, have in any experience he may consider as having been in the Lord, or of the Lord…God always shows Himself…greater? I am wrong and content to be, therefore, about the greatness of God, for God forbid I shut myself off, (or any other) by either attitude or some silly and abject poverty of pomposity…from surprise.

Oh, yes, I cannot deny I can be set for shock and not even know it, thinking myself far more open to the all that God is in Christ by some vanity of my thinking, or thoughts of attainment, or even “years” of what might be (even erroneously) of following. God knows…I may not yet have even started! Is that “OK” with me?

How could it not be?

If it be what God knows?

Is God’s knowing…enough?

If not, what else could be?

If one is too old for surprises, or too wise to be surprised, or knows too much already beyond bearing of further surprise, God knows.

As only God knows.

But still…this:

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

If one like me, who in last writing(s) has made so much of the matter of surprise, is without some testimony in himself of it (just as having the testimony of Jesus Christ within is all life to a man) then such a man without testimony is just an empty jangler and clanging cymbal. And I cannot deny that may well be my estate, God knows. Just a box of pebbles when shaken that makes some noise. As said, God knows.

But rather than seek to enumerate for proof(s) the many places of surprise (and yes, shocks, too) that might appear persuading…or even “go to the scriptures” to establish any seemingly righteous justification (which is never forbidden), I am rather found persuaded to say only this:

There has been for me no place of, what I am persuaded is Christ’s intervening in “my life” (from first confession and onward), that has not been without some great surprise and perhaps even more frequent…shocks. If there has been any advancement at all, (for only God knows) not one step forward has come apart from some inherent reproof (and often rebuke) of a once present estate to (if one can receive it) goad me ahead. I have to be prodded. I have to be…moved.

And that might be one of the greater shocks/surprises of which I have been made aware. Of myself, I am entirely inert. And oh, of course, I didn’t always think myself so. I was a doer of stuff to myself. Even when surprised on an evening that I expressed my being unimpressed being “around all these Jesus people” and what so called “God was doing” I later found myself blubbering like a baby and confessing Jesus Christ as Lord, yes…even after, I retained a strong sense of my ability and abilities.

Yes, I was surprised at the one who had no problem raising his hand when questioned from the front “Is there anyone here who is not excited about the Lord?” shooting it up to singly distinguish himself…but later finding himself quite broken down. Yes, I easily agreed something happened that night. Even something surprising to that man/child/boy. But of my own ability I was (or so it seemed, yes only seemed) not dissuaded at all.

And I could speak of several intervening years of experiences and adventures in disregard…which…quite shockingly led to a place of such desolation and despair that this man/boy knew beyond doubt something of this (and such) terribleness had been so precisely aimed at him, that he could not deny. It was too perfect in its precision, accuracy, execution…and reduction. Something “else” happened. Someone else…was happening to him.

No doubt any could find place to quibble about true conversion vs some false equivalency of it that such as God does not deal so harshly with His own, and that that man/boy who, even if walking in such forgetting of that night of blubbering years ago might think of it as some form of “conversion experience”, it never really was so. I couldn’t agree more with one’s right to see or say so.

But this man was there. And he remembers as surely now as when this and these words happened to him, rising as it were from inside himself from a place both unfamiliar and completely unbidden; but as surely true as they were in both their perfect clarity and no less perfect phrasing:

“To him who has more shall be given, but to him who has not, even that which he thinks he has shall be taken from him”

“which he thinks he has”

Both shock and surprise…and all at once. A man too perfectly described of all presumption that was himself…but…hearing! Even hearing of such a man from a place he knows he could have never “said it to himself” from. Of course no presumptuous man could ever show himself of such gross presumption, for it is his very (and total) inclination to remain unaware and deny anyone able to add to his conversation(s). The man so perfectly right to himself…being displayed as so totally…wrong. Who could do…that?

The time it has taken to relate these things so far exceeds what that man knew and experienced in that instant (like the twinkling of an eye) of surprise. Yes “that man” is all wrong and deserving of being totally stripped…but…the one telling him so…is “inside”. Shock and surprise? Surprise and shock? I have entered something I know I cannot relate to any fulness to anyone. Suffice it to say (though their have been innumerable missteps, misapprehensions, bull in china shop reactions undeniable, and yes…even more often displays of presumption made plain), yes, suffice it to say, there was a sea change…if you will.

That man needed to know that who of who would “still speak to him” while so self occupied as to not even recognize the speaker’s reality. Yes, that thrilled him beyond any “feeling bad” about being such a wretch…(and wretch undeniable and beyond description). See, this cannot be explained. That man has (still and often) “felt bad” (it is also undeniable) to even a cringing at times at himself and his ways, but that speaker has never…ever…left him without hope. And that is the inexplicability of it.
How the great wretch (even greatest) is given hope.

No, it is not by denying his wretchedness, no it is not by some clever “letting himself off the hook” for he knows how he squirms like a worm there plainly to himself, and it would be and is an undeniable right of to any to ask, or to further seek to pin down such a worm by whatever additional probing seems called for by any, and of why such a wretched thing…could have hope.

I am not unfamiliar of how talk of wretchedness may seem (in these present days) and among the some who confess Christ…as either unfitting or unsettling. To some, no doubt, it must appear as wallowing…perhaps even some heretical denial of being cleansed. Yes, surely, I cannot deny how it may appear. Likewise I cannot deny it can have the appearance of a penance, another heresy of self flagellation whereby “feeling bad enough” is looked upon as some expiation (in heresy) of what only Christ can do to “let one off the hook” (so to speak).

Yep, I get it. Nevertheless the worm calls for being pinned down, the thing to be examined requiring a necessary stopping of all its own motions so that proper exam, or fullness of what is contained within of motive can be either accomplished to exposure, or discerned for right fitting disposal, or seen.

Yikes! We might even ask the Christ if He knows anything about this!

Jesus…do you know anything about being opened up completely so that what was inside…would be “let out”? Do you? What comes out of you…when being “pinned down” like a worm?

Yes…a reason for thieves and worms to have hope. Mercy. The only hope for thieves and worms. Thieves of glory and worms loving corrupt and dead things for their sustenance, preferred above the heavenly. Mercy.

I am a bit unashamed. But God knows this does not mean I too, haven’t been unsurprised by how abundant is that being of unashamed (estate) and can be to such a worm. It is remarkable, astounding…even breathtaking. Death and life…and all at once. A worm that by all logical accounts should feel so bad at being displayed a worm to a complete and utter silence…has the temerity…even the boldness to speak.

Perhaps we could even ask Paul? What was “having that same spirit of faith” that bid him speak? Did he overemphasize Christ’s work toward even the chiefest of sinners to be unpalatable? Too much talk of grace, man! When do we get “to do”? What do we “have to do” to do? A worm in its motions.

Yeah…been there, done that. “I wanna be like that guy, or that guy, or that guy up there giving such great sermons or words that lift, or rightly advise, or caution and warn.” I wanna have what they have.

I said that once to that brother I previously mentioned and recognized as an apostle…(at least to me.) I watched the ease with which all in conversation was always brought around to the Christ of God, his Lord. How that with such joy this fellow seemed consumed with nothing but that…no matter how many other things seemed apparent to situation or conversation. I saw it too many times. And far too many times to be unimpressed by it. So many times that eventually I was reduced to beggar undeniable, position of admission of an envy made unavoidable to saying “I want what you have” a plain supplicant exposed.

(Others once said to a man “give us this meat to eat”)

“I want what you have”

Without hesitation or even time for thoughtful phrasing came this:

“To have what I have you will have to lose what I lost”

I see now (even with some surprise) he was prepared to that statement/question/request and for that question.

I understand, as we all must come to, any and all matters if idolization are dealt with according to their need. But I cannot overstress the spontaneity, and to me, rightness of the exchange. I had no coveting of his position, he had already been removed from a local assembly, even one he had helped establish.

Asked to leave/booted/adjudged to be of such error that the other leaders/elders (of which he was “once one”) caused his departure. And which he bore in joy with no recriminations for any. He was either already then, or shortly thereafter, to endure the same (but now “local” to me.)

It was common knowledge and held by all I ever met of that first congregation, that it had grown out of home meetings (his home) and fellowship. And now returning to “my” area (where I met him) in which he had some roots of both nativity and remaining family, he would also be booted again.

A man “out of order”. “Teaching” from his abode, some question of abusing hospitality (his own mother’s) and generally to be “someone else’s problem”. Basically…”you gotta go home, get your own house in order (especially in regards to his marriage and wife) stop presenting yourself as one of some calling…and basically ‘get yer mind right’ and go get along with the prior elders who had put you out.”. You have no place here. And it was there in having no place, I was joined to him.

He remained a wild man. And that is what I most probably and consciously didn’t know I was seeing, but wanted, nonetheless. A man unhindered by polity or convention of situation or conversation…for him it was “always about Jesus”.

Yes, I was provoked to jealousy. No, I find no shame in that…regardless of all my subsequent misunderstandings and necessary rebukes and chastening’s born of what remained of presumption. Find the road, for Christ’s sake, find the road…the Lord will attend to any missteps along the way…if it is indeed, His road. Don’t worry (besides as need be, you’ll find rebuke(s) for that, too). In one way…one may learn that is indeed His road, by the many necessary chastenings.

That is how one (perhaps like me) is able to say unashamed, and if found to have any progressing, not one bit has come from “Hey you’re really doing things right”…or…”keep going, doing as well as you are doing”. Ha! Nope. If anything has come (and come as either surprise or shock…and often both at once) “it” has come by…”you don’t see as well as you think, or know, or even speak (or write).”

“And I will show you and prove it to you”…shock and awe! If I speak of mercy, as though it could be summed up…redemption, salvation, any so called mystery of grace or faith…NO! (or yes) “you don’t know the half of it!” Look and see!

I am not unusually found a poor beggar playing dress up in a King’s robes. Still, and even to myself. The moment there is any entertaining of my own rightness (OK…maybe moments after, dare I admit to days or years after?) I find myself in any admiration…I have given Heaven perfect ground coordinates for carpet bombing.

What one might appraise as to be to another’s shame, I cannot help but admit…I’m very terrorized of lying in this place. But my boast (as I hope) is always of Heaven’s response to such a fool…even if such boast seem…delayed. And (God help me), may it even be when such bombing causes such a one to be so disfigured among men…and beyond bear-ability or belief.

Yes…faithful are the wounds of (and from) a friend.

May we all die and be consumed of, and by, what is friendly fire.

We all, who believe, sense and know that fire is coming, as it has already been kindled quite perfectly in the earth, by another.

May we answer His from Heaven by being rightly consumed.

Our light in the natural is only a simile, a metaphor, a type and shadow found in this creation, of the true light. And that light is of all impact, it will utterly crash into all and anything that is not made transparent to it, allowing fullest penetration.

What is able to make and cause any to stand in that day, is set for the demolition of all else.

He’s coming.

Even declaring to those who can hear…

“Behold, I come quickly”…

and surely sooner than I know or could say.

And we are moved.

Our considerations of matters spiritual, or real, knows no bounds. We are not inhibited from anything, nor prohibited in any matter of question if born of sincere desire. Though this, in itself, is no small matter of which we often find ourselves in question “What is sincere desire?”

Where once we easily thought ourselves sincere in all undertakings, our coming to Christ has revealed (as part and parcel to it) at very least something of His sufferings accomplished on our behalf, and in obedience to His Father, that is displayed as price or cost to a soul that another soul be made free of lies and/or insincerity. One soul enters darkness that another may receive light. We dare not discount or make less of this profound work, even if described in so few words. “He bore His soul unto death”. He entered (and conquered) every bit of it, fully bearing Himself to it, with no drawing back nor defense of self displayed.

In the most extreme of terms with no apology for their deserved extremity, He conquered death…all, and fully, in Himself. And now those in Him, are to know, no less than His resurrection testifies, this same work being done in themselves…as gift.

There is a too wonderful intertwining here of both His death and His resurrection, for the profoundest considerations of each (which in truth are inseparable) testify to both deepest of depths and highest of heights. In that sense “all” is covered. No one has or could descend lower, no has or could ascend higher. And its marvel is eternal.

And each testifies of each, always, (and God help me here to not reduce marvel) as in the natural a quantum entanglement is apprehended. (Though by this writer only most barely of such) Each testifies of the “other’s” estate of being. One’s “up-ness” is irreducibly (and immediately) tied to any observation of the “other’s” down-ness.
Yes, as the heavens declare the glory of God, so do “smaller” things. For we are in the “same” and only God of all creation.

But I did not want to poke around in the periphery of matters, of which the deepest of physics is only itself so. (Nor would I have any led astray to thinking I know much about them). Nevertheless, there can be no adventures and/or explorations of our God in His magnificence (who is spirit) that is contradicted in, or by, His creation. We may at times, think we see something of those in the natural, but if and when our sole reference is God…all other seeming contradictions dissipate as the once opaque morning mists. He is full of all reason as to why all things are as they are, and even all reason particularly in those times when we are being led to believe otherwise. Not one sparrow falls ignored. Not one hair un-numbered.

And so, if speaking of hair and aforementioned grace to relax, be at ease, be unconfounded to frustration at our own inability to anything…anything at all, we could also consider turning just one hair from white to black, as Jesus spoke of. Or growing hooves or that second head as also previously mentioned. Actually, it is only the believer who can find any comfort in the impossible to himself, and perhaps contrary to all intuitiveness, is appointed to.

And, if I may dip a toe back into the natural, not one loving and doting parent would be unfamiliar with the notion of surprise, that is, to take or provide their beloved child with such a matter of joy prepared for them, but of which they are convinced that child could not even begin to imagine as end. “Yes…it is the circus, children!” as the car is parked to squeals of delight.

I have known apostles…met some, read and heard of others, and had the distinct pleasures and pains of one stopping for me, to pick me up, carry me, and being unashamed of association with me and all my childish presumption(s). A man knows, as only the man who is going through it knows (uncaring of opinions rendered) when his soul is being knit to another. He also knows nothing is more out of his own hands. Resist, and it is proved. Accept or submit…and it is proved.

And I mention this only to this end, regardless of opinion. Apostles are bold. They are wild men. Or if not yet, they will grow to be, for some are yet in training…to a singleness of eye, as their calling relentlessly motivates. Yet they know it is not only for themselves, this singleness of eye, nor to themselves is such keeping. But they are “first” in the sense the man in the crow’s nest first spies land or obstruction, but would be in complete dereliction of duty if keeping such to himself.

And apostles are also first to learn of stripes and severe chastening’s if, or when such knowledge is mis-apprised as something for themselves only…or as a personal delight…only. They may see delightful things without any prohibition of joy, but there is a greater good served by their learning to unabashedly holler either excitedly “land ho” or with great caution “hard a’starboard, rocks ahead”.

Their seeing is for all, and silly would be the man who, if reading Paul (or any other apostle’s words) with any desire at all (born of spirit) thinks Paul wrote simply to show off. Or surrendered to “I guess this ain’t for all of us”. It is not unworthy to admit to lack of understanding, but it would be far more remiss to adjudge that any insight or revelation given is only to be held in our communion by a more special few. Freely you have received, freely give…has either indeed been burned into their soul(s), or will be. And I mention this (and

Such a one I knew. And I mention this (and him) to such end that, and as an apostle his insights/revelations were for those to whom he understood himself as sent. He was surely…sent to me, though I know of others who have known him. And I have no doubt at all, that as one knew of such knitting together of souls mentioned, so did the other.

Remember Paul’s words if you need reminding. Though he is most generally read today with much (rightly due) respect…and thought fit for general application and acceptance (though I also fear with some presumption by some)…remember his own words in respect to himself and his calling. For to either be ignorant of them, or to discount them as folly now (when he appears so esteemed among so many) will only prove presumption if not held, or presumption if discounted.

“If I be not an apostle unto others, yet doubtless I am to you: for the seal of mine apostleship are ye in the Lord.”

Paul laid no claim to being an apostle to all, even were he ordained so. And even no man who might receive him to himself as such “I am fully persuaded Paul writes for and to me in truth” Or even “all the church” (as I am persuaded), Paul never took it to himself. Strangely (to some perhaps) this is precisely a “why” I am persuaded of his verity. Not because “he’s in the Bible!”, not because every other confessing member of the body might tell me “YOU have to accept Paul’s words and leading”, but because something almost too true rings forth from that man. Just like his Lord. He knows to whom he was sent. He knows of souls being knit together, though he bore with much pain and sorrow…even such work. Just like his Lord.

Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?

Yes, it is not the man who commends himself…(with titles, positions, garb, etc.)

For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.

And there is a discipline for some coming, chastenings for others “on the horizon” who would seek to bind others to Paul’s words when not being knit to them, themselves. And only God will show any man whether Paul is “commended”, and it will not be because he can find them in a book “everyone must heed to”. You…are not (as neither am I) a pope. The call of Christ is to God through Christ and woe to the man looking for the upper hand in the assembly.

I fear I have gone a bit afield. But as an apostle we do find Paul (once we are convinced he is true) handling the word of God in liberty, but not license. He is free to draw connections, make declarations unbreakable to those of same knit nature, and not obscurely seen (as though it is too weird to say) as a wild man. Some outside thought him off his rocker…while at least a few inside (I say few as concession) esteemed him not as one to “take a stand with”. (Burn your pulpit if you do not know this. If you do know, you have already burned your pulpit.) Too bold?

And so this apostle who once appeared to me in flesh also knew his liberty in touching the scriptures for enlightening. And as one knit to him by many proofs I understood some, paid less attention to others…and even found some perhaps unsettling and perhaps even presumptuous (as so many were willing to dismiss him “out of hand”)

But some come back to me now from accompanying him (and he accompanying me without shame) through a life of meetings, travelling, shopping, sharing meals, watching TV, walking streets and entering prison(s). I remember his expansion upon this:

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:

But with this understanding he had been persuaded of in spirit that God alone will either commend or disavow:

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: (and let us surprise him!)

And let us surprise him!

No, none need find anything here by compulsion. And I am persuaded to say what this brother would most often say to the often blank faces he met when saying it

“Do you not know this?”

And as though too relentless in boldness, he would follow hard upon with these words: (for apostles are bold when grown):

“Or…do you know better than this?”

And, yes, he always held a smile for any who thought they knew better.

But, as I say, impacts are a reserved thing according to recognition. One man hears thunder, another the voice of an angel, another yet hear that voice on High above which none exceed.

Father, glorify thy name. Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again. The people therefore, that stood by, and heard it, said that it thundered: others said, An angel spake to him. Jesus answered and said, This voice came not because of me, but for your sakes.

How and what we hear is how and what we hear…not at all what we say of “how and what we hear”. This is a rebuke to some as it must be to myself. But it is also a great comfort when appreciating one cannot unstop his own ears, open his own eyes and finds that peculiar comfort in the all that is impossible to himself.

One may think (if one has had some walking) of all the silly questions posed him as a believer by those who would seek to make the “impossible” an uncomfortable place for him.

“Can God make a rock so big He can’t lift it?” Huh? Huh? “Come on, theist…come on…”

or the even funnier: (of which I am fond for my own peculiar disposition)

“Can God make a chili so hot He can’t eat it?” huh? huh?

So many questions…some of seeming deeper resonance “If God is all good and also all powerful…but there is evil…that means…”

For some this is the kiddy end of the pool…some being so overwhelmed by a thing of far greater wonder and ineffable phrasing. Can God start with dust, and from it, make something like Himself? Even grow from what is not at all like Him in any way…(even steadfastly resistant to being so) and assuredly NOT HIM, yet grow it up to know Him? And not only so, but to know Him no less than His own sent Christ…knows Him?

If so…how? If so…why? If so…what might one find out?

Perhaps that he is far more knit than ever he could have once appreciated?

And even be surprised by it.

I used to think I know better.

Father forgive them, they know not what they do.

Maybe I still do.

We are caught in a curious place. If the end is to just know ourselves as forgiven (with Christ as savior and forgiver) of sin, somehow hold fast to this to death and then “go to Heaven”, nothing is said in that uncommendable. Even the use of the word “just” as though assigning this a small doing, could speak ill of such estate. God forbid. And God forbid any of the Lord’s gracious work be counted as “just” something He does, or has done.

Yet when we see such as all reduced to that, juxtaposed against what Paul has declared as ultimate plan, purpose and even will of God in and though Christ for His church, it will not deprecate such. Therefore, God forbid it appear anyone (especially myself) seem to do so, or have any intent to. But we are left with having to consider certain things in light of one another. Particularly an all “growing to the fullness of the stature of Christ…(even) unto a perfect man”. This is indeed what the apostle called a high calling.

And if a man say “we are caught” (even in a curious place) there might be some reason for appraising it so. For none will deny one has written “it does not yet appear what we shall be” in our being sons of God. Likewise even in such place that one has written that:

“but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.”

We are to be like Him in all ways, yet till He is seen as He is, this full outworking of transformation is hindered, or veiled. It does seem to be a curious place, no? To have some conviction (even inward impetus) of intended growth to a fullness (lacking nothing)…even to a perfection, but forced to admit that (at least) to ourselves…”it does not YET appear what we shall be”.

It can be, perhaps must be in some ways, vexing to any logic of man. But, the spiritual man might be able to understand, it is only to those places where all natural logic is rebuked, shown useless and vain, that are, or is, to where the spiritual man is beckoned. This presents, even demands, a reliance elsewhere.
There can be no figuring out, or calculating by measures.

It is not my intent (such as I know it) to present difficulties, or seeming contradictions, or make of hope a silly thing. But likewise I see no grace if denying our most common of estates, pretending I see better of difficult things. And perhaps that is something of a persuasion granted a man might come to…that when things are hard (or difficult), we may have some inclination to put more oomph to it, believing it might still be possible we can do it, but when things are manifestly shown perfectly impossible, a good and healthy surrender is found to have joy in it.

Frustration doesn’t come from impossibility, frustration only comes from, and can only come from a thing appearing doable making itself then undoable to us…as we strive and try, and labor after it…yet always falling short.

Stupidly I offer…I find frustration when thinking I could have all studs perfectly plumb, and then find that (at least) one off I somehow neglected to see so when later appraised. I though I had worked consistently throughout, and if asking me I would tell you, “yes, absolutely” I had placed a level on all faces. But now…after line of them is done…the proof is there…I hadn’t worked as precisely as I thought I had. Did I not see? What didn’t I take into account? How can this be when I thought I had…

This is a silly offering I know, but such has happened far more, and in too many ways worth mentioning to be ignored in my own undertakings. Maths, automotive mechanics (whence this extra nut or screw?)…job of livelihood, marriage(s)…in every single thing I might undertake in my presumption of possibility and intent of success (ha, maybe like writing!)…I have known frustration. Any and all of oomph here, it seems, serves only to make more a fool of me. “This time, yes, this time…I’ll make it work perfectly”. Ha!

You know where I have never known frustration? Trying to grow hooves, or a second head…well…simply because…my knowing it is impossible has kept me from striving to.

No doubt some will be inclined here to say “someone is just saying throw up your hands and walk away from all of Christ”. It’s all just…impossible…anyway. “Love your neighbor as yourself” “Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Who hasn’t found how easily resorted to is that serpent’s knowing when seeing it…as some impossibility to then remain harmless?) You think me a fool? How very right you are! In some ways I am still looking for the man who has cut off his right hand because he has seen it as an offense to him. Or that man with one eye plucked out. “OH!” One says…”you silly silly man…Christ here is being exaggerative, not literal (whatever that means) and you are too obviously a fool”. Yes, and again, no doubt I am.

But who easily explains all that away but than blithely reads “Thou shalt love the Lord with thine whole heart, whole mind, whole soul, and whole strength” and says “OK, cool, that I will do” That’s a real (literal) instruction.

“Cool, Jesus, thanks for the great advice!”

Listen. I’m a liar and easily accused of being so, especially if in any way I am seeking to present myself in any way immune to, or deaf to knowing this/these inner conversation:

“I need to try harder”
“I need to be better”
“I’m not doing well enough”

or

“I may well be beyond all hope” the last being especially pernicious if allowed as final word. And indeed would be…if another allowed it to be.

But here is where grace and mercy shine, even if, and when, in rebuke:

For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.

Someone speaks hope to the chiefest of sinners. The very one who “most falls short”.

The issue is not hard to see. The problem (if it is one) even more easily discerned as irresolvable for man. Only He who can (and does) the impossible can possibly reign here.

But God forbid we fail to see it as His issue, taken to Himself and for Himself…and somehow seek to worm our way in with our ability(s) to resolve and do what only He can.
He (our God) has purposed that from clay (as to Him appeared a good start for His purpose) to fashion a thing to then become a thing of such stature as to be changed and grow into all likeness of Himself. And this He has done through His Christ, our Lord, Jesus. Free of sin? Yes, and undoubtedly. Of different nature than what once was? Surely (The first man is of the earth and earthy…)

Yet…purposed by His purpose “may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

And to know the Father in all fullness as we are persuaded our Lord does.

He started with His dust (so far as we often see) and as such so often occupies our sight…for cleaner dust, better dust, more perfect dust…and we know frustration…even as we must. We might just as well “try” to grow a second head.

But before dust is His intent and purpose…before all we can of our seeing and our own knowing, is all His intent and purpose.

And that alone can only be seen in one place. Heard of, from one place.

So also it has been written: “The first man Adam became into a living soul;” the last Adam into a life-giving spirit.

Yet…purposed by His purpose “may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

And to know the Father in all fullness as we are persuaded our Lord does.

He started with His dust (so far as we often see) and as such so often occupies our sight…for cleaner dust, better dust, more perfect dust…and we know frustration…even as we must. We might just as well “try” to grow a second head.

But before dust is His intent and purpose…before all we can of our seeing and our own knowing, is all His intent and purpose.

And that alone can only be seen in one place. Heard of, from one place.

So also it has been written: “The first man Adam became into a living soul;” the last Adam into a life-giving spirit.

‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.

More oomph simply will not avail here.

The flesh must, cannot help but, is assigned to inescapably, glorying in itself. And thereby showing its nature.

What may appear, or even be described, as the merest whiff of spirit is far more than enough to show all its boasting as the corruption it is. The rank vanity it is.

For is not in any of man’s measure of abundance of spirit or seeming paucity of it that any right measurement can be made. The most novice saint holds within a wisdom to shame the eldest religious devotee and practitioner who trusts in his own piety. Maybe even someone like me.

The greatness of spirit is measured and has come in the cost of “its” delivery…whether we (in our foolishness) yet think by the ton or by the ounce.

One word does. One word undoes.

And what is new in spirit…has always been and will.

Behold, (He proclaims) I make all things new.

We either see “it all started with dust”…or He intended to start from dust with an intent no man can bring himself to. And somehow be delivered from all the frustrations dust is ordained to know.

For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 

but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 


His hope. It’s working toward all that is full and perfect. Even through what we might call…our frustrations.

After what little has been said, why then the above title:

“AI and the Church “?

Until it is settled to us that the only intelligence is that which is in spirit, gleaned of spirit, shown true in spirit, whatever we may “come back with”, if in any doubt otherwise, is both useless to us and counter to growth in Christ. The hard place of knowing (if one is persuaded such a thing as knowing is) never yields to speculation nor supposition. “It” may purify, but truth is not in supposition to anything.

But God forbid any intimation that such does not serve purpose or be unapproved be said. God would have us think about things (meditate) especially of those things we approve as of God. And if we have any persuasion of having found anything in the scriptures that bears our inner testimony of verity (God surely knows!) then let us, by the grace of God, hold fast to whatever kernel brings forth fruit. Surely this bit of exchange between Jesus and certain hearers would not be exempt:

Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.

(Several other translations precede “search” with “Ye do” or (implied) “You pore over the scriptures…”)

This is rather startling to consider, and I am open to any rebuff in any use of being startled.

We could here suppose many things. Is Jesus not exposing the very thinking of some? Beyond any other matter being said (which do speak of profound matters) are we convinced Jesus knows…what men think…in their doings? Is it presumptuous of Him to claim such knowing, or is such truth of men so plain to Him as to be irrefutable? Does Jesus…know? And even know…what knowing is?

Do not think we ourselves escape this question. Does Jesus know all about men’s thinking as motive for their doings? Am I exempt? Does Jesus know every why of “why I do what I do“? (And how many of the scriptures do testify of Jesus knowing all the thoughts and intents of heart!) Even all inner conversations with our soul.

Does one see? We could easily proceed into several (if not many) matters found in those few words, but already something that might be easily overlooked, or casually confessed (Yes! Of course Jesus knows everything about man!) may have deeper implications for us than just (let’s say) “Jesus is warning against seeking after a thing by means that may not be a fullness, or may even cause one to be blind to the substance of the thing itself….after which one is said to be seeking“.

Stupidly I offer the man who, looking for the forest, says: “I can’t see it with all these trees around blocking my view…but yes…I am looking wholeheartedly for the forest!”

It is more than just not knowing what a forest is (in ignorance), but that standing in one one finds the very things that constitute it…as a hindrance to finding it. Is Jesus really a stumbling block? Even purposed so? Only the man who falls needs help getting up.

But Jesus says “They are that which testify of me…”

And for us, which must come first? Who does come before…the they…the things…that testify? And if what we assume (as we may) of the that that testifies does not lead to a singularity, a proper seeing through which all must and is to be seen…what have we gained? Maybe at best…only a supposing? Speculations? Some bible knowledge…of recollection or only memory? Could we have it…backwards…even often?

And God knows what my confession must be to be found not lying.

These things will either withstand accusation of seeking to add complexity to the simple, (as in some contradiction of the bumper sticker “God said it, I believe it, and that settles it” variety) or some way of putting understanding into either more select hands or minds (which I would confess as contrary to any intent) or placing all matters as always too deep to truly understand…and therefore a throwing up of hands should ensue. God forbid!

But, and because, even if confession is so of intents here, only God knows the heart to its depths. All things are subject to review, correction, revision, and rebuke. Straining at gnats but swallowing camels is always a right warning to any.

Either we accept all as necessarily understood, and our necessity to understand as only through Christ, or we do not. Jesus was not adding to the law, changing the meaning of the law, nor in any way even slightly altering the law when He says:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

For again, if we take Paul at his word (and words as inspired) the law is spiritual, and therefore only the spiritual man can even begin to understand it. It makes no matter as to how much any might proclaim “But it is there in black and white, plain worded as can be…” (or written in stone)…for what is spiritual is spiritual dependent for any sight or understanding. The weakness of flesh, through which the spiritual matter of law is made weak, is also undeniable. There is no fault in the law, it is perfect to its end. It simply cannot bring about any perfection or perfecting of what abides in flesh. For that the life giving spirit of a man becomes all and sole necessity.

“That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the spirit is spirit”

It could take, in truth would take and does take only the Lord’s work in His activity (there could never be enuff books) to show and/or separate by explanation the flesh’s influence upon the soul which is the amplifying organ of man. Our soul is to “magnify the Lord”, have His magnificence as pouring through it in some understanding.

But if the soul is not won, or not yet won to only Christ as life (again and only by the Lord’s work(s) of patience) we easily mistake the soulish matters as fed of spirit. Our carnal dispositions, preferences, biases may present themselves as spiritual in nature, but are only an out working of juvenile estate, presenting such matters as true and eternal. Paul saw what was beginning to happen at Corinth when believers were separating over whom they preferred as spiritual teacher. Is it wrong to have preferences? God forbid! For God knows we do and have. But to then imagine anything of them promotes health to the body by either their proclamation and further worse, by an attachment of our identity to them, is folly. And I am persuaded Paul was no more impressed, nor pleased with the man who says “I am of Christ” in that situation, for the Lord alone will make clear, as it is His alone to make clear…what is of Him, or not. The Lord confirms, not man.

For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.

One will cry out “But how then can any know?” A man can say anything! How will any know what is true or not?

Yes…that may be a question that always bears return, even if we do not yet see its primacy in all. It is not enough to say, or even know that AI has long been an issue brothers have dealt with from the beginning. No, it is far more than that, just being able to even see or say that, as all this short writing may only be a presumption to address.

You are born of spirit to know.

Paul did:

“I know whom I have believed and am persuaded…”

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

If any of a hope was realized in pt 1 it is to the end that the new man sees not at all as the old man, and moreover does not look as the old man. But here I mean more than appearance as in look like (though he certainly does not to the eye of spirit) but more to the way in which he looks to see, the how in practice he performs looking. It is written Moses veiled his face for the glory upon it (from seeing the Lord) but also due to its fading nature. Such veil is spoken of here, as continuing till removed in, and by, Christ:

And not as Moses, which put a vail over his face, that the children of Israel could not stedfastly look to the end of that which is abolished: But their minds were blinded: for until this day remaineth the same vail untaken away in the reading of the old testament; which vail is done away in Christ. But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the vail is upon their heart.

Moses covered a fading glory, even to the end that it not be apprehended as an abolishing of things before; which was to that them their present time. God appointed that no man see the end of the old until such time as the new (Christ in His glory) be revealed. For now we may leave of certain implications of that, in particular God’s appointing of times and season for blindness…and sight. Not in any way due to the lack of its import nor significance, but rather that something other first be established. Yet I am persuaded such assigning of priorities is merely my own convenience, and not God’s at all; for who alone can do all things…and such all things even at once?

Moses veiled…and veils may keep others from seeing clearly through…but they also hinder the seer wearing the veil. And Moses himself (we might say) got into some trouble over both actions and words…even in not seeing those in his care as clearly as another. Likewise was Elijah reproved when seeing himself as sole remaining in any zeal. Others were, to him, as he saw them. No less, Moses. And we are told by Jesus of John (who baptized) that of women born none had arisen greater, who preached that “He who comes after me is preferred before me”. Something in a someone coming…is greater. Yes, John had the better view, but Jesus also added that “He who is least in the Kingdom of God is greater than he”.

All that to say that the least portion granted any of the new creature is greater than anything gone before. And either all will be seen and sought in such understanding, or it will not. All is open to the new man, just as the new man “with unveiled face” is to be open to all. Even those looking upon him/them. There is a new way to see, and a way that does not hinder the seeing of others looking upon the seeker. And faces without shame we are given in Christ…to be seen. We are, and to be, open faced. Indeed of all, we are men with nothing to hide but rather under such strength of word to give as we have received, freely. Unhindered. And unencumbered by any impetus to hide.

We might agree this seems a tall order, so to speak, for we know something of sin’s power to engender a furtiveness, a hiding. Even in such manner as to motivate in us a secret looking (so to speak) with which we view others…”Where are they falling short?” Have you found such evil eye willing to work within as some have? The eye that, not yet convinced of mercy and its necessity (and likewise abundance) to the viewer himself, still, in some perverse turn of what appears spirituality, seeks out those who “really need it more”? I know of such a man. Who would piously paint a face while mouthing and mourning his concern over “those poor sinners!”. Those “poor blind folks”. Yet, God sees. And hears all.

Yet Paul speaks of a veil removed…for sight and to be in the sight of others. And we dare not diminish the cunning craftiness sin can motivate. Does motivate. Always motivates. And such power as remains to its assigning till confessed. And the man who is spiritual and/or would be is not unaware of this strange displacement, projection even, whereby it appears so easily identified as in others but often not as easily seen as far closer to home.

“Gee, do I do that too?” which seems such a juvenile question in brevity and form, becomes a very precious query for armament. Removing beams, a labor not given to much popularity for publicizing, becomes in God’s eyes (who alone may see it) a very precious work to Him. And of far more benefit than stabbing at motes with clumsy and unguided hands into the eyes of others.

But if I go too far afield in considerations, may we be brought back to that consideration aforementioned as seeming too high? For it appears God is after a something, a looking for a something in His provision through Christ of children as fully grown in stature as that Christ given for their, even our salvation. A perfect man. Is this not “the man made in the image and likeness of God”? Paul saw a clear distinction and spoke of it as first man, second man, first Adam, last Adam.
One subject to sin (“for when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died” said Paul in identity with the first) but describing the last Adam, the second man, as that life giving spirit. What a vast difference! One made a living being (or soul), the other, the man of and from heaven, a life giving spirit. I do not know whether this can ever be overemphasized.

Are we yet convinced of Paul’s journey in his sojourn of being sent into the earth as an apostle to some discovery/uncovering/revelation of this intent of God? “Till we all come…”? To what is very high, indeed? The Paul who eschewed the wearing of veil or blinders by the new, did he actually see?

It is only settled to us as it was settled to him, by God’s hand of provision (and likewise removal of certain things) by, and through, His Christ. Revelation of matters as they are for the usurping of matters as they appear. Even their tearing down. And God alone knows how to minister death to what must die that life overtake in victory. And Paul, even as His Lord, learned (if we do indeed believe he did) the manner of submission both required (but also provided!) as revealed to Him by his Lord. And we are no less convinced of his then right glorying in the cross of Christ he mentions…frequently. And from this sight, always in his (Paul’s) eyes he was further both convinced of, and convincing in the resurrection of Christ out from the dead. “For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.” A terribly glorious…work.

Yes, we are convinced Paul sees and saw. And as a faithful scribe he wrote of his intelligence with his intelligence. His intelligence gathered in the heavenlies by seeking to remain there with his intelligence (attentions) in order that he might rightly transcribe what he saw and understood for those yet hungry. He speaks of being caught “between”, and settles such by consideration (not advantage to himself) of a yet remaining need of delivery…which settles him into the greater good of, and for, others. Who sees Paul piously painting his own face…or sees a man unveiled? It will make some difference. Both in what we see and how see see.

Lest any find easy accusation for “Paul worship” or idolization over any other worthy apostles and scribe(s), it is not “there” to be had. He loathed such considerations, and to therefore aim what he loathed at him will surely bring reproval from heaven (if not sternest of rebuke), and not on any other account but for Christ’s sake. Into which he and all faithful scribes have entrusted themselves for His glory. He confessed to neither knowing all nor apprehending all (which is for some a fine indication of his honor and verity), but what he did know and see he was not shy to share. Save of one instance in which he sensed forbidding. And this was not to any end of his glorying in himself, but that, with true and open heart and being honest broker he might be made able to say:

To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus: Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.

There is a saying of our Lord’s that thrills me beyond many things, especially when considering those matters that, in all, simply seem too high for me. As thrilling as promise may appear at first, I too am a man who has known something of failings and flailings in seeking to accomplish, as though something is given out inspiring hope, but with as dread a danger of disappointment by missing, in frankest failure to perform.

Fear not little flock, it is the Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.

The one who teaches it is more blessed to give than to receive is true.

As thrilled as we are to receive, His delight is greater in the giving.

Perhaps for some that could be a good reception, to ask to see how delighted He is, and blessed, to give.

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God,
unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: 

My placing of those words above along with anything to be said in regards to them, causes me to remove my shoes. But that action, or even mention of it, must mean nothing to you if I am found unable or presumptuous in any conveyance of its reality. No saint is ill equipped…again…no saint is ill equipped to some sensing of God’s holiness of estate, nor such holiness of His intent. And likewise and no less, no less is any saint ill equipped to taste and discern fraud.

And in this particular matter one of our elders has both spoken and written, and quite in particular to the particulars of it, and unashamed.

And, I am persuaded, it is (or was, if one prefers) as high a statement to him in speaking as any man might perceive when hearing. But we are a peculiar people being won to a peculiar conviction, that only the seeming too high is, or can be, true. Anything less than the impossible for man is not made fit for us. And though any might find it convenient to reduce this to a more common nostrum “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp” from Browning’s poem, even if unaware of the next line “or what’s a heaven for?”, it is not so intended for reduction. May we find it more in conjunction with our faith to understand “God’s reach far exceeds man’s grasp” at every turn. For no man’s will can bring about ascension that is only in the hands of He who condescended. As even so, faith speaks.

And if any further so called groundwork or foundation for understanding need be lain, let it be this in these matters. And by grace may it be settled to us who believe. No vaunted prophet, nor wisest rabbi, nor most exquisitely trained scribe, or most scrupulous and pious practitioner (as Paul once described himself in regard to the law) avails here. He understood beyond our most common ken:

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature.

Only the new creature can, and is made to, eat of that holiest bread given for us. This is both birthright and, no less importantly, all and any that is of life to us. This in no way deprecates any, who esteemed, have gone before. We can no longer read, nor understand, nor even esteem according to shadow(s) given in anything, for the very substance of all substance is made ours by inheritance through Christ. And even more so, we are convinced those esteemed have received same, not living as paupers amongst a more esteemed company. For the promises that were once afar off to them have no less been fulfilled to them in, and by, Christ.

But God forbid we read and understand according to their prior estate (which was once their portion, even as it once was ours) but with our hearts elevated by Christ to the heavenlies. And unless or until we are persuaded of that, that our scribing brothers in the faith of Jesus the Christ’s resurrection write as men of heaven, and with a more perfect view, we shall be lost in contending over comparisons, and in comparatives. But we must be persuaded of this, that only Christ’s knowing and the knowing of God’s Christ is as greater than Moses (to us who believe) as described here:

For this man was counted worthy of more glory than Moses, inasmuch as he who hath builded the house hath more honour than the house.

When the distinction is seen, comparisons become moot. For there is no comparison.

Why this belaboring of distinction? God forbid it be seen to reduce any in esteem, but rather that by such (distinction) even those esteemed be rightly esteemed in the light of Christ. Neither idolized nor torn down, but each fitting perfectly to their work. And if we have any esteem of brother Paul, may it be so as rightly regarded, as a brother who speaks truth to his brothers, not as one lording over nor speaking down to. He was well convinced (I am persuaded) that his apprehension of matters heavenly were not merely for broadcast (though rightly they are) but made to be bread for all. To this end (again, I am persuaded) he went through many breakings so that even the most novice would find morsels of life given to nourish and sustain till meat be eaten. He experienced even being brought to being so “dissolved” in himself to Christ’s purity that he was unashamed to clasp any to his own bosom for milk.

But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children. (Paul…the “wet nurse”)

And may it be seen, and may it be appreciated, that as surely as he declared no foundation can be laid than that which has already been laid, even Jesus Christ, that his declaration of pinnacle is no different in all or any essence than foundation:

Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God,
unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ

Yes, we may often add our nodding or find some agreement amongst ourselves in regard to foundation, (and it would be unwise to not accept) but that height? “Unto a perfect man”? All? (“till we all come”?)

Even this? “unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ“? (Italics mine)

O! but this is very high…even seemingly far too high to say, much less consider. How could any be so bold…even too bold…to say? Who could bear such knowing if this saying is to be shown true? Who? Perhaps we might see none but the Christ of God. That living and active word…ever working…even in vessels of mud, of elements and water mixed…but now with something beyond.

“For we hold this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us”

That presence of the Ever Present One is all and only able to bear, and bear out that which He by grace has placed and found within, that particular mystery of Christ in you, the hope of glory.

So that as unasmedly as He would say when He Himself is found in fashion as a man walking in clay would be echoed through another vessel prepared as he continued His walk in a vessel of clay (even Paul)

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Unto a perfect man.

Who gets away with saying such? Can bear such knowing for the showing of it as true?

Unless it be too high for man, can it be…true?

And if one forget, or be tempted to speak in any way as better than, or in any fashion as superior to any of the company to which he is himself called now as member…there are shoes he may take off as reminder of connection to all else that is yet of clay. And still touching the earth.

Something must be morselized. Even to such extent as to a dissolving to one’s self. But who would allow Himself so broken? Made so small as to enter a heart of stone buttressed against all that is true and there do His great work of calling forth He who is from the beginning? To show himself real and true…even in a heart of flesh?

Who?

The earthy is, but the Heavenly was, and is, and is to come. And in that, something must give way in the earthy that declares itself as “is-ing”. In the breaking of the heart of flesh contained, the heart of stone must give way.

Consider Him who had no heart of stone to break, nor give way, and yet how heartbroken He is unashamed to show Himself to His own. And how victorious.

Jesus wept. And Jesus rejoiced greatly in spirit. Who alone is able to do all and even…at once? And all things well? Members are rejoicing while yet others are found weeping. May each recognize the (only) seeming other.

From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

If we do speak of emotions and emotional responses, and have somewhat in the examples of Saul>Paul and Jonah, and consider their implications for us; it might be too easy for some to imagine only emotionless response is being recommended. As if there were no place for anger, or tears, of warm feelings and the like…God forbid.

Their matter of origin, though, is always of paramount importance and significance. The scriptures surely testify obliquely in places, quite plainly in others that our God is in no less possession of such, and/or moved by such. Jesus no less is testified to have looked about Himself in anger:

And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand.

At those present looking for excuse to accuse Him of “working” on the sabbath. Jesus sees all “lying in wait” for accusation, and the hardness of hearts doing so instead of showing mercy.

I will not deny knowing this working. I have seen it “too close to home” at times (or even many times) to admit or confess as having been so ensnared. A “light” has to be shown as on.

“Self” exaltation is no matter I am done with, nor immune to its corrupt tendency and outworkings.

I have only one place to look to see it “not” displayed. And that place is set for all reproval and rebuke and (usually only afterwards) grateful for His exercise. And this despite His lack of concern about how it makes me “feel” in the moment.

His lack of concern for our interpretation of Himself and what He says…well…at times it almost appears He doesn’t care much for making friends the way men do. Nor even with much keeping of them (the way men do). Then I am reminded. Of course! He is the savior form all that men do incurring dread consequence to themselves.

“Get thee behind me Satan”! Yikes.

“Will you (guys) leave also”?

“You guys are gonna run for the hills” (Why Lord! How could you think so little of “me”?)

Yet it is precisely because He has thought enough of us to have come in being sent, we are saved. Does that make us a something…or He an everything? This will be worked out or not.

And no one has ever loved me enough to tell me all the truth about myself…and certainly even Mom, though so greatly loved. My dear wife often comes closer, and at such times it is good she is well armored.

How often I could be found so wrongly interpreting this: “And a man’s enemies shall be they of his own household”. I always preferred to think it would be “my righteousness” being resisted, when resistance (which produces heat) rises. O! stupid man! After all…I believe in the Lord! (Anyone else discovering they are not the last disciple? Or alone in Christ? Maybe even not so much in the know as they love to imagine? Ha!)

Yep, God’s way is perfect. And it would be so (even more?) distressing for me to go on at any length when speaking about emotions and their workings and consequences to deny fires I have started. I have burnt down whole households with fires I have started and allowed. And/or, even eagerly thrown gasoline upon. My deepest and truest testimony among men remains that no matter how wrong any particular man may, or can be (as myself being paramount example), there remains a wholly righteous one.

Yes. And yet, it is He who ministers the spirit of faith that bids us speak.

Yes, Jesus is kind enough to give us “things to do” while in these tents. And one of them (maybe the least of them?) is speaking to one another. But, we are not forbidden.

Saul was asked his why. “Why do you persecute me?”
Jonah was queried with “Then said the LORD, Doest thou well to be angry?” Or, as in another translation: “Do you have a good reason to be angry?”

Good reason?

Who has it? Would He share it? (Come let us reason together)

Reason and emotion. They often seem at odds in us, especially when emotion(s) have the ascendancy. And may so easily fool us, or make fools of us. But we must also admit, and no less, bad reason and reasoning(s) cannot do less. For they will also end in unwarranted rise of emotion(s) from a place of falsity.

I have often written of that fellow Rutherford or Lord Rutherford, who upon first discovering how much (in his case little) of what we consider “matter” and material (as in solid) exists took to his bed, remaining there for fear of slipping through the floor. Everything is “mostly” space! Vast spaces on the atomic level such that his mind, now informed of this, filled him with terror. Obviously it would be plainly foolish to think such a bed, composed of atoms no less, would offer greater support. His mind in terror by what his mind deduced, hid from his mind a manifestly plain thing. And caused him to view another (the floor) as now insufficient to him. Something made too true to him to deny by his experimentation, upsetting all his prior understandings (and even experience(s), overwhelmed all sense(s) of good reason.

And so we too, as now in the Lord and under the Lord for discipling, discipline and tutelage may hear and discover things leading to utmost of upset. Our emotions may rise up seeking to get the better of us as the first disciples often discovered. The Lord always has reason for His saying and reason to be found in His saying(s), yet at first hearing their may arise a tumult. And in some cases (as we can see) even a rebuke or correction offered to the Lord. (Do you or I really need to ask Peter?) And our Lord never shies away from speaking what is to us often, that hard thing. Sometimes very hard. Really, and always…too hard a thing for any of us to understand but for God’s spirit.

The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?

Jesus…are you always trying to lose followers? It often appears so.

Or is it rather…show them how lost they are already?

Were we to continue with this issue/matter of emotion(s), it would serve us well to consider Jonah.

I trust we all know the story of how, after stiff resistance (one might even chuckle to say it) he was “made willing” to carry out the Lord’s instructions to him, finally preaching coming judgments upon the city of Nineveh. It was to be overthrown in 40 days.

But the people took heed to the prophet’s dire prediction and made such repentance before the Lord that He stayed His hand and showed them mercy. But Jonah did not like this, no not at all.

We then read of Jonah presenting his reasons and reasonings of the “why” he didn’t want to come and preach. Almost like a “See? I told you so!” to God.

But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry. And he prayed unto the LORD, and said, I pray thee, O LORD, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil.

In fact the scriptures state he was so consumed with anger he even asked the Lord to take his life, as disgruntled as he was:

Therefore now, O LORD, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.

Have you known this…ever? A being so marinated in frustration and anger you plead to die? Enough is enough! I just can’t take anymore!

But…how funny(?)…ridiculous(?)…self undercutting is this? O! but we may be so foolish at times…especially those times when we do not even know our pleas are, indirectly (to us) for God to be “less merciful”. It is a strange place, no? “I know you are a merciful God…but I cannot bear you being merciful to a “them” or _________.(Fill in the blank with whatever enemy you would prefer to see judgment fall upon) Almost, if not entirely, forgetting that it is only God’s mercy He is known to any of us. Jonah didn’t eschew mercy when in the belly of the great fish…did he? Do we?

But before it seems I am singling out Jonah as a type unfamiliar to myself (as though I could never be like that) suffice it so say “Hey, Lord! hey Jonah! I “get it”. We men do not see every well at all…help! And when our anger is having the better of us…we may not even know what we ask…when we ask. And to remain in it does not daunt the Lord….only our own souls. For the Lord is not done yet.

(And thanks be to God for the many “yets” He has ministered to me in His mercy! And I hope in no less mercy “ahead”.)

And the Lord is undaunted by Jonah’s anger. For the event continues with Jonah sitting outside the city to see what would happen to it. Perhaps he still held out some hope for lightning bolts, or gaping holes to consume, or whatever calamity would “lift his mood”. God knows.

I am persuaded that in one sense (at least) Jonah, not being “done” with the Lord’s dealings, and the Lord not unwilling to even heap to him more displeasure, finds himself first in some relief (by a gourd) to only be further tormented by the Lord’s preparing of worm to destroy that shade giving gourd Jonah appreciated. God’s showing much providence in his particular preparations for Jonah…first a great fish, then a gourd, and now a worm…and next to be such vehement heat and wind (prepared)…that again Jonah wishes himself…dead.

Sun beating down unrelentingly so that he fainted in its unbearableness…and wishing for death…but then…

The Lord spoke to him. God…seeking to now reason with His divine wisdom and reason with one who has presented his pleas, made his full anger known at his estate, even as one not so disposed to God’s disposition to be, and show Himself…merciful.

But, God speaks.

And God said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death. (This fellow certainly seems to hold fast to his “reasons” in being unrelenting in his clutching of anger…Yes…”I do well to be angry, even unto death”)

“I do well”?

Does God love the stubborn? Would He continue to speak to such?
(I am persuaded my salvation rests upon such patience only God shows)

Then said the LORD, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night: And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?

Is this not God setting the record straight in His reason and reasoning with a man? (Come, let us reason together) Even showing the flimsiness/foolishness’/corruption of anything that would, upon its own reason, present any justification by which to bind God. Or seem “reasonable”.

None of this is, nor ever has been any of your doing…as engaged as you may feel to it and with it. (emotions often reinforce the notion that something of “all” is happening exclusively to ourselves…again because we “feel” them so)

And so, as far as the scriptures speak in this account, the Lord’s final appeal is to a man to consider the many souls he neither intended nor formed, and up to this point has shown no regard for.

And this man is unashamedly called of God as a prophet. Jesus no less referring to him in his stature when walking amongst us. A someone called of God, even knowing of His mercy as he declared. Yet shown furiously holding to an anger God sought to reason him out from.

It is strange in many ways to consider whether this mission was as much for him, and not any less than it was to preach to the Ninevites. God’s economy is perfect.

And, who learns from this? And who is, perhaps not unlike any who do not know their right hand from left till enlightened, very much like any “other” man?

And if need be, God is not reluctant to mention even the beasts of the field.

What might be left for us to let go of certain things, to better see, and understand mercy?

May we not be found despising the very matter that has made Christ Jesus Himself, life to us.

The issue of our emotions is really no problem for God, as they more often appear to us as issue, than they do for Him. Though we may be tricked by them in many ways, have thought and sight clouded often, be led by them into all manner of calamity on occasion, even develop whole of dispositions and outlooks based upon them, yet God remains unscathed and, in most cases…unmoved by our attentions to them.

No doubt to some this would seem to contradict a very dear truth that:

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

For surely this is true and precious. And God forbid any who would seek to undermine that reality. Yes, our Lord is touched by our weaknesses, even and especially in temptations. But, and no less, must we look to Him for navigation especially when feeling overcome in our own weaknesses that would otherwise tend to sin.

Yes, God loves, cherishes, and is unashamed to call us His own and even share His glory, (for He will not share it with an “other”) yet, He remains not indulgent of us. And we all should know (must know?) things “winked at” in times past due to our own darkness of understanding are all to be made clear in the present light of Christ. And no less should we suffer being taken advantage of as was made clear by our Lord’s refusal to partake in a pity party being catered through our brother, Peter.

Our Lord, God’s Christ, Jesus, knew the end prepared in His betrayal and sufferings was to life eternal…even for Peter, and likewise knew who was making appeal through him. And how often might a man be maneuvered to, in his sensing of feelings provoked, go to such lengths as would deny the very source of his establishment.

There was for Peter a place, as no less for us, prepared aforehand for accomplishment that would provide such mercy as was ordained to be accomplished in such a way. And no other way. And even though our Lord knew well (all to well) how such plan must appear to man, He remains, not merely undeterred…but in such address which, apart from God’s mercy, no man could bear in rebuke.

But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

Shall we talk about having a swimming head? Terror(s)? Firmness?

Or what answer one might come up with to this “why” issued from Heaven? Or how long would be given for response?

Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?

(How long do I have to figure this out, Lord, this “why”?)

Short answer: Because I hate all attached to your name. (dare it be said…there?)

But that still does not sufficiently answer the why…for it only provokes another…and one we learn (f we have learned) our brother Paul was given time to consider and discover through revelations provided…as to that “why”…The why of why men hate that name. The feelings of hate, hatred, which overtake and move so many are quite secondary to matters far more fundamental, and to be discovered, uncovered for their nakedness to show their poverty.

Do any imagine the Lord did not know of Saul’s hatred for the name…before asking that “why”? He who was spoken of as: “breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord” Not unlike some vision of a dragon…spewing flames and choking smoke.

Yet, the Lord asks such a man, a man chosen to be asked, a man chosen…”why?”. And we know that Paul (once Saul) labored greatly in uncovering that why, displaying that why in its flimsiness against the truth of Christ, and even took to himself such reason for it, not by excuse, but in response to a mercy shown him through grace that upon it he stood:

“I was ignorant”.

How might any man be overtaken by such raging emotions of hatred that he be so blind? How might any emotions so take advantage?

Mostly, because if left un-checked (for they do and must, bear checking) like buttress we are convinced of “good reason” for them.

It is not the emotions themselves that are an issue (and certainly not for God toward us) but those matters upon which we find so called “reason” for them. The emotion springs up not without some provocation (though often taking advantage of ignorance) and so takes over through depth of feeling(s) that they become the most immediate and present thing to us. We “really” feel them. And this, because we sense as real are more assuring there is “good reason” for them. We are always inclined to believe (till disabused) that only truth spurs our emotions.

And so we have issues with, or even troubles and problems with understanding certain matters, especially as spoken by the Lord.

Again, this is not at all to say “naked” emotions have no place, for often they are used of God (who remains undeterred by them or their expression) to help enlighten us. Even such matters of, let us say “love and hate” get so confused to us as to how they are manifest in ignorance, to deceive us.

Especially in matters relating to “our own” of which the Lord spoke, and therefore has and had something to say. The Lord, our savior, is never without reason, even if, and when, we be. Therefore we find great comfort in “come let us reason together”…that our reason and reasoning be made sound.