Author: israelx7

In hoping to some conclusion it is sensed that standing the title(s) on their heads might better serve an end. For it is really not what “does not work”…but of whom and what does. That particular faith delivered by One to the saints…that “works by love”. Even the faith “of the Son of God”. This linking is not our own and is, as all things, even in that linking, the gift of God through Jesus Christ. Faith that works by love. Yes, there is a plain linking.

What is “of love?” What is “of faith?” We might see the folly of this being presented as two questions. Yet do we not often find ourselves as though in some tension between the what that seems two? Please make no mistake to our common engagement in seeking understanding. The writer only seems to occupy one place while the reader another, but we are all, in common, being written upon…even written out by God as epistles to be read and known of men. And make no mistake also, that writing holds its own warnings, resolved only in and by God, lest any writer think himself above any reader.

Therefore, and for this time, this writer would be a liar to deny his own tensions often found in what appears the two questions of “what is of love?”, and “what is of faith?” even if they may be folly to divide. Another writer wrote:

“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

I surely don’t know if one can over torture the word used there for “seemeth”…(δοκεῖ in the Greek, also often translated as relative for “think” as in thinking of a matter) for when we are being ministered chastening (also a word used for discipline) there seems a grievousness to it that, in that moment, appears nothing of joy; and even may present love as questionable.

When experiencing rebuke I must confess the first thought is not “I am being loved!”, but rather an experience of some paining. And therefore my self finds itself in need of further referencing. But to this end Jesus Christ does not grow weary. He is in all a help (the only true help) that is able to deliver from the questionable (unsure in themselves) to the establishing of the saints. Therefore we may learn of His great kindness to not only speak, but remind by the Spirit:

As many as I love I rebuke and chasten, be zealous therefore and repent.

And O!, but this can become even more curious until we be settled in the love of God that is toward us in all things! Is it comfort? Surely! Yet doesn’t it speak of a seeming different matter…also? And I use “seeming” (I hope) soberly.

In our being moved to (see) and “know Him as He is” we are persuaded to a path…even that path of knowing Him. This is not our own work, but even the peculiarly wrought working of seed implanted by Him…to “ask, seek, knock”. In this, our being “mapped out” to know and understand…even the love of God through Jesus the Christ, we are being told the experience of knowing this love is found in rebuke and chastening. And for then, with very good reason we are also told:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

In one sense (if one can receive it) we are those appointed to bear much rebuke and chastening…(which often does not “feel like love”) in order that we know we are being truly…loved. And even more oddly if we admit to a pressing to continue, we are also (in another sense) those asking for “even more” of this! No wonder we are told to not lose heart, to not grow weary…and admit even, that if we were not “instructed so”…what would we do of ourselves…but draw back?

Thanks be to God for those who, also enduring such were not too timid to remind, nor averse to speaking of matters no man could choose of himself and for himself, for they were given to see the consequences of the Lord’s discipline and chastening(s) upon them. And through Christ alone (and alone through Christ’s spirit and to Christ’s glory) made able to encourage us. They knew something of the Lord’s cup. And the power of His resurrection.

What a place of secret and such secure hiding! That God in wisdom would (in and through Christ) hide such comfort and encouragement in a place no man would believe, or could even look…except by gift. Even the gift of command. And there begin to be taught of what the world cannot receive…how that Jesus Christ, in and by the Spirit of God could bear such contradiction of sinners against Himself and prevail. How much more comfort to those who believe! For we are not “bearing for sin’s sake” (Christ alone has made full expiation) but instead bearing for the sake of God’s manifest display in vindication of Christ’s righteousness. This love of God for the son of His love is made ours to taste and know, even to our very sustaining, through the ministry of Jesus Christ…who ever liveth to make intercession for us!

The constraints of this love, even and especially past the place of our knowing our own failure(s) and failing…is abundantly ours.

Listen again, as need be, to what this apostle (Paul) spoke in his finding:

But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid.

Does it not address the uncovering of a curious following? How that through pursuit of Christ to know as our justification we may find ourselves even more in lack, more in need, more “missing the mark” than we formerly even considered of ourselves; and that unless we be disabused of the notion we might consider Jesus Christ the minister of sin! The apostle says plainly…God forbid!

No. We are discovering our being lost was greater than we could have imagined, our being dead to righteousness deeper than we could have once borne in our knowing (what man does not embrace to “the end” that he still had/has some bit of his own righteousness to offer?) and that the trials of our faith (who would claim having never stumbled?) and in which we dare not deny our own occasions of stumbling, are appointed to bring a seeing (and appreciation) of the One in whom no stumbling is found. And who is not a minister of sin.

Listen, we know this sounds paradoxical. To some even, untenable. And I am not persuaded it is an unreasonable question to ponder if one is led to it: “Why would a/the loving God who has given “His all” through Christ allow a man to discover all despairing of himself in knowing himself as sinner…even (and especially?) when he is seeking to be justified by Christ?” One might…even if pressed to it in extremis be so bold as to ask “My God, where then is the reward?” If all my seeking only the more shows the direness of my necessity, where is comfort? I certainly don’t “feel” more righteous…at all! On the contrary…

It would not be reasonable here to belabor how easily we are deceived by feelings. Suffice it to say we are following the Lord who was not deterred by all the feelings a man would experience, and the deeper ones yet He experienced in His death of the cross. We have already touched upon, even if briefly, what was accomplished there; not merely the death of a man (for all men die) but God’s work of judging the whole of an old creation so that the testimony in the resurrection would be sure and a sure sufficiency to us of His bringing in the new creation. Again, suffice to say our discoveries of how much (and how great a work) took place there cannot but leave us in awe.

We return to the Lord’s testimony of His Father and His Father’s work:

This is the work of God that you believe upon Him whom He has sent.

And what our Lord endured in His faithfulness to that testimony being made sure to us, is all of most profound consequence; in, and for, all things. He wavered not.

If we then, being partakers with Him (are we partakers with Him?) must understand we too will be in touch with many feelings. And of such experience of a profundity of them, and in them, that we come to understand the Spirit’s comfort and necessity to us, to keep us from being completely overwhelmed by them. Yes we will touch the deeper recesses of what it means to despair of self and be unashamed, even if (or is it when? If it must be) at some points we plainly are brought to see our own failings.

How many saints have rejoiced in this exercise, learning these words of comfort and encouragement: (and I here use Young’s Literal Translation in hopes to avoid ambiguity, along with the KJV)

Stedfast [is] the word: For if we died together — we also shall live together; if we do endure together — we shall also reign together; if we deny [him], he also shall deny us; if we are not stedfast, he remaineth stedfast; to deny himself he is not able. (YLT)

It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him: If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us: If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. (KJV)

If any hold (“Who hasn’t?” I would ask) some confidence yet in their own steadfastness, this is said with some confidence; there are lessons ahead. The steadfastness that saves us is not our own, but His as gift to us. And even (hopefully) of seeing His.

The “seeing Him as He is” is both promise and impetus to us. And if in that there must be some seeing of ourselves so as to be disabused of any notion He is subject to usurpation, no one having been brought through this has any regrets. His throne is unassailable and unshakable. And so the comforts and conviction ministered from that throne are also, and no less. This must be established to us, and in us, lest we remain babes, or children, tossed about to and fro. And thankfully, the Lord does not grow weary.

There is a mystery here. And there is a conviction, a persuasion…even a sure lesson of many lessons that are given to us for navigation to its clarity. The Lord would have us no more ignorant of the deeper workings of man than He is, and was, when this testimony was given regarding Him:

Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man. (KJV)

“…for he knew what was in man.”

Jesus knows of duplicity and fickleness as the only pure and undefiled knower/observer/seer can, even as through Him by whom all things that are made, are made. And though surely we are set free to confess all our weaknesses and infirmities (both to Him, and even one another) lets us not be as children thinking we are making something of news to Him. Though it may be news to us in discovery of how frail we really are, (and He does not grow weary of our confessions of discovery) what is news to us is only so because He is working to help us see. And this, not for shame’s sake, but for growth. Paul came to understand this in the deeper revelation of God’s sufficiency of grace toward him:

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

What a revelation!

“for my (God’s) strength is made perfect in weakness”!

Who could, or would seek to bear the knowing of all their own weakness(es), but for the grace of God made abundant there? Even so much so that they (we) might even come to “glory in them”? We, who formerly were given to only displaying “our strengths”? But we are no longer in a (or the) jungle as brute beasts, we have been given a Kingdom. By, and with a King our only sure defense. And we are coming to know Him as only valiant, only mighty over all for the vindication of His name…even in His people.

Admittedly some may not yet appreciate such warrior talk. But, He will not deny Himself. The Lord is a warrior. A conqueror. A vanquisher of all rebellion and even what may remain of rebellious or contrary thinking in us. His name is mighty in its work in us…and no less, thorough us. No man who has been conquered by the Lord either doubts such has happened, or is happening, and that without regrets. And there remains some persuasion this is what Paul (at least in part) addresses here:

Knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men.

Had Jesus fulfilled a promise in Paul?

“I will show you whom you should fear…”?

Was Paul shown that someone by the Christ of God of whom the ancients had written:

Sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread. (Is 8:13)

Those are strong words…even to such as dread. Had Paul discovered something…even something of a “linking” in the God whom he loved (do any doubt?) and that this ministry of reconciliation to Him through Christ was not without the knowing of (at least) some…terror? Yes, in some ways…a mystery. But only resolved through, and in, Christ. We dare not have any inclination to yet believe these waters can be navigated but by another on our behalf. Even to the bringing of us to safe relief. To draw near to what (who) is otherwise terror alone to us. We begin to see our need of understanding Christ’s work of love, done in the fear of the Lord, and gifted us. Deep calls to deep.

Just as “warrior talk” should not be foreign to us, neither should be this matter of the fear of the Lord, nor even the terror of the Lord. May we understand, or come to…even all of us (this writer surely not exempted) the particular matter of singularity, or if better understood, consistency. Of being consistent, all integrated to one thing, and then becoming men of integrity. Jesus speaks of singleness of eye and encourages to it; both for our benefit and the knowing of glory. Even that it be rightly ascribed to God alone. After all, should we not be learning the benefit(s) of rightness (or the rightness of God we call righteousness) if we have some sensing of the resurrection and God’s placement of Jesus the Christ to His right hand?

Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

In this matter of fear and terror it must no less be settled, and no less understood if God’s grace allows. The simplest of examples, when found, are usually of best sufficiency.

Man is often found in many desires and from which many plans develop, even the matters we lay out for doing. Intents and desires often run deeper than we know in spurring motive. It is for our instruction to our own ignorance there (in the depths) that we are told of the word of God (are we settled yet as to whom this is?) here:

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Singleness of eye (and therefore heart) to a consistency of integrity must be accomplished for us. Therefore even all the underneath, the hidden places (to us) of our depths from which motive rises (our doings) would be lost to us if not discerned for us.

As said, and scripture testifies,

“There are many devices (plans) in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.”

Now to the silliest, and I hope, simplest of examples.

Think perhaps of the strongest (even obvious) of desires a man might know.

If it is not too crass…even a man on his wedding night. The marriage chamber is all laid out, the delight of his eyes and all longing of his heart is there before him and ready for his embrace. Suddenly comes from the next room the roaring of a lion. And he knows a lion’s roar. Suddenly all plans are “out the window”…suddenly all plans of desire’s fulfillment must make way (and are at the very least, surely suspended) till the necessity of safety is secured.

Do we see how terror and fear easily overrides, even to the narrowest (and narrowing) of focus, and particularly in excess of great desire(s)? Nothing can continue of plans, all is suspended, at least until the matter of that lion‘s showing up is resolved.

It is a silly example. But I do not doubt you have ample of your own. Of matters and plans going “out the window” when the unforeseen intervenes. The man severely cuts his hand (or worse) during his planned day of chopping wood, or making a tree house for his children. There are simply far too many examples to list, that should be plain. We have all had them, no doubt. But the matter of lesson in them remains the same, a “thing” can happen that easily overrides original plans born of desire and motive “to do”. Totally upsetting to us who had previously thought our doings were coming to some other conclusion. And how all focus then shifts! Yes, fear can override and is so manifestly plain in its power. Dare we think God does not know how he has made man?

No doubt this road is unpleasant at the first to consider. And, also no doubt, the resolution must go past any trite recitations. “Fear is of the Devil!” and therefore someone (perhaps even this writer) stands easily accused of promoting fear! How many times did Jesus say (and also many scriptures) “Fear not”? How many times?Yes, something must be resolved.

I am persuaded it is not untenable. And God knows I have some hope of greater conclusion (if God allow) in next entry.

Included in the last part (7) is this statement which bears further investigation and consideration:

Wouldn’t sober consideration of the cross be sufficient to persuade any man (if sober) that here he is dealing in and with realities that plainly speak of a firmness beyond mere pleasures as a man might assess?

Surely we are not prohibited here from any (or even all, if allowed) investigation; Paul himself being a chief expositor of those matters revealed as to what took place “there”. What is/was accomplished as the man Jesus was nailed to the tree. Surely he did not write of these things that we would not know of them, but rather that in receiving them as from a faithful witness of such revelation, we too, would be brought to it, and thence into it. O! but this matter of trust runs so very deep. For if we do not trust Paul as faithful, we cannot trust the God of whom he testifies as faithful. And so we would conclude for every word of the apostles.

Listen, God knows every man is created (He is Creator) with a need to see for himself. That is to “know for himself” in reality, through experience, that there are both matters of ultimate truth (truth does indeed exist) and that all of such truth is found in the person of Jesus Christ, who is Himself found only in, and of God.

Please understand what is not being said. It is not being said that there is truth and on top of that, as superior to that (or in some way different from that) there is the truth of Jesus Christ. No, this is not it.

There is truth. And only found in and of Jesus Christ as given to man through His revelation by the spirit of God.

With this in mind (if one is able to receive it) we can consider what was proposed for further consideration:

Wouldn’t sober consideration of the cross be sufficient to persuade any man (if sober) that here he is dealing in and with realities that plainly speak of a firmness beyond mere pleasures as a man might assess?

“Mere pleasures as a man might assess” in sober consideration of the cross. Again, if he is able to receive the work of the cross and the sufferings of Christ as reality. For here, on a most fundamental level (that Paul was not too timid to either enter nor address, being made so) we are confronted with matters of pleasures; their appearance to man, esteem by man, understanding of man. Even that most fundamental of issues for man that: “if it pleases me, it must be good”. Do not make the naive mistake of thinking “but I am so far past that” or worse, “I am a man who has always been immune to the allure of pleasure establishing itself as goodness to me.” Such will only show how little they know of the cross of Christ.

O! yes, even the most novice of us can recite with some knowing “sin hath pleasures for a season” seeing that once things that were pleasurable have shown themselves in consequence (by some light of Christ given) of a dying and death. Yes, we each have our version, made true to us: “All that glitters is not gold”.

But now we are speaking of the cross of Christ, the sufferings of Christ; a matter beyond the slight mayhem we may have touched in our own disobedience. We are touching that particular matter (all of obedience!) by which all creation (of the old) is undone, and made completely and utterly, new. Let us not mistake our experience of a torn fingernail (and its effects upon us, alone) for what God has done in all, and to all, things. There are matters of scale and magnitude we dare not deny. But we are made able to follow…even if only a seeming trail of crumbs (bread has indeed been broken for us) that must lead us to the most fundamental of matters where truth is confronted to be seen. And, we are to see Christ.

We cannot escape the reconciling of this, not because a man has said it, not because it makes for sound doctrine, not because it will be a “help” (though all of these matters are matters of fact) but because God Himself declares it of Himself through a prophet whose words were found worthy by Jesus in quoting (for He is their origin, these very words). Isaiah.

And it is here that no man can go without a guide, without a navigator, without a secure comforter given, without some means provided for reconciliation to a thing (or matter, or person!) that is all and otherwise completely, utterly, ineffably, incontrovertibly beyond his grasp, and so far beyond that it itself is an immeasurably glorious gift to even recognize the puzzlement of it…(that a man might be provoked to enquire)…

Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief

Do you see? Do you see how this must (and does) totally upset (overturn, rebuke, rebuff, contradict) all of our own, all of a man’s own, all of every man’s own understanding of pleasure as relative to truth? You see, this is truth. This is the truth of God. And there is no other, if any yet need be reminded. This is the truth of our God.

Our God is pleased to have crushed His own Son. And that of His love. His delight. And any man would be (O! but so rightly) puzzled, and righter still if provoked to ask “how can this be?”! For it is. And there is no “work around” for this, there is no escape of its confrontation, no escape of all it summons up in a man as to what he has considered pleasure and pleasing things…in the light of what God declares as pleases Himself to do, and have done. Here all must be overturned by truth, even, and especially that peculiar matter to which every man has been subject to bondage in mind and heart, and that is, to whatever measure it has been embraced (and every man has!) “if it pleases me, it is good”.

For here is “the Good” (God) declaring the truth of what pleases Him, and has, in His doing. Here is a frank confrontation with all previously assumed of what “good” is, what it (He) looks like, experiences, knows…and works according to. And as all already know in such matters …”something’s gotta give”.

Something will, and must, buckle under. While another shows sovereignty.

Happy is the man who buckles. For now, rather than working continually backward (even in disobedience) to an opposition unrelenting, even hostile, and at all enmity with all thinking of flesh to a perfect frustration thereof…(provoking even further hostility in the man) a man finds rest.

Yes, everything is turned upside down, so they might be rightside up. God is different than me! There is “another”. I am not alone (even though He seem so very very different!) And here we face a square matter, so squarely in truth that matters not once seen clearly, once seen as though through a veil in our pursuit that the discerning of them was so unclear, so obscure, so able to be used to trick and fool us into all condemnation in our confusion of pleasure’s relation to truth, and truth’s relationship to pleasure.

And here a verse of scripture begins to display a mother lode of glory as we are exercised in our eating of a loaf broken for us. And the revelation of how “broken” broken is…for us in service to God. A loaf broken to deliver us from the tyranny of being deceived by our own pleasures into such bondage to death; broken for us, given for us, and to us, as all of life itself (Himself!)…that is life indeed. (For there is no other!)

For if we will be persuaded to the goodness of truth being our joy and pleasure rather than past assumptions of our pleasures indicating goodness, we will see the hope extended to such, with a likewise salvation from a very matter not subject to contradiction (as it is of God ordained):

For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way. And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming: Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

“because they received not the love of the truth…but had pleasure in unrighteousness”

Don’t be deceived by the power of pleasure to so leave a man in all resistant to truth. And God forbid we be deceived to think “God would not further enforce that to a man”.

But it takes God (and no less) to show through the cross and work of Jesus Christ how much a man is given to pleasing himself…thinking it good…but that leads to all condemnation. And how, according to pleasure he esteems all things relative to himself and is indeed locked up to it unless appointed to see otherwise. What pleases him, he accepts, what displeases him, he rejects. And the received things, working according to his pleasure, become to him, truth.

A man must be saved. And, salvation is of the Lord. As is all judgment, no less. No other.

Stay hungry. And find food everywhere.

A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, But to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.

There is a realness to these matters that a man may find difficult to substantiate to others though he be freely given to testify of them. And it is not peculiar to some that their testimony is the very thing assigned them for such substantiation to themselve’s no matter, or in spite of, how difficult it may be found (even perhaps impossible) to persuade another. We are walking where all things are made new, and all things are of God.

All here rests solely upon God; His work of revelation, His work in leading through Christ, His establishing a man in such truth that the man would know it is only God capable of such. It is not without reason Paul exclaimed “Who is equal to such a task?” For what is odious to some will be life to others. And unless the man be delivered from any agenda to control the working of such matters in the ear of hearers so that they be manipulated to be “more acceptable” (thus making the man more acceptable) such a man is still caught up in his own personal agendas.

Now God forbid there also be any inclination to make matters harsh. Wouldn’t sober consideration of the cross be sufficient to persuade any man (if sober) that here he is dealing in and with realities that plainly speak of a firmness beyond mere pleasures as a man might assess? Even that very firmness of which and with which Jesus spoke?

“What shall I say then…Father deliver me from this hour? But is for this very hour I have come”

That knowing that such a matter that would seem to persuade to all escape from is not only “a” matter at hand…but the very “the” matter upon which all is toward and concluded for; and so much in the consciousness of Christ it cannot be denied. This is the “it” of His coming. No, no man need be harsh for there can be nothing added to the depths of the Lord’s suffering and death to make sure (to the sober) that any lesson be driven home. It is enough a man enter such sobriety, he will have sufficient odor. And fragrance. God’s agenda (plan/purpose/resolution) in this matter must be fulfilled, and is, by the sufficiency of Christ to it. All and any of our own attempts for effect are more than nullified, they are here lifted naked upon a tree for plain knowing.

We can be…plain. And till this is known as the relief it is from all striving to either embellish or diminish (for any hearer’s sake) we will not know it as relief. We will still be laboring and striving according to the terrible metrics we have adopted to ourselves for measuring success/effectiveness and/or failure. Paul came to enjoy such a place where he said he no longer even judged himself, he had come to know a faithful Father into whose hands all discipline through Christ would be ministered…and that alone…rightly. He was wholly convinced he was being watched over quite diligently.

And though this may sound to some (or might be twisted so) as a call to being casual about such weighty matters, it is in truth…all that being casual about such matters is not. He knew and walked with a “ready judge”. Indeed Christ Jesus had proved himself to Paul in His showing as promised by bringing him (Paul) to the Father:

“But I will show you whom you should fear…” And Paul was made amenable to being shown things.

Therefore Paul was not reluctant to write:

“Knowing the terror of the Lord we persuade men”

And I am convinced here by my own necessity of many chastenings and rebukes… and the myriad forms they have taken, that Paul was not speaking in hyperbole. Many things may be found difficult to express, even when understood, that are beyond any assurance a man might grasp to himself that he has expressed them well. There is nothing in this new life that is not Christ reliant, or, if better put: Thanks be to God all relies solely upon the Christ of God for revelation and understanding! There are no surer hands into which all can, and must be, placed. And surely this matter Paul speaks of as knowing, i.e. “the terror of the Lord”, is no less.

Having spoken of it elsewhere I hope not to belabor it, but the matter of terror and love must be reconciled to the believer (as they seem strange in coexistence) unless we take Paul a liar. God forbid. Far better for any to take me as one, or so lacking in understanding as to be unworthy of considering than for any believer to believe Paul was merely speaking “out of his hat”. And if one would have (as some gift of God) some hope of persuasiveness, this makes this pairing not merely now odd, but also in a very real way, necessary. Knowing the terror of the Lord makes a man a persuasive man; and only a man with no care that the interests of Christ be served would then seek to shun such knowing of terror in service to persuasiveness. But really, of our own choosing we might be honest, none of us cares to be terrified. Nor would choose to know it if given our druthers. Warm hugs, lovely commendations, and bright smiles of reception, yes; but who wants a glimpse of God’s fiery wrath? Who could “handle” it?

There is a right answer.

Do we know Him?

It would at least seem reasonable to address the “It” in the title, though I am convinced most have some sense of their opinion. Is “It” the gospel? Is it the faith? (As we are told in one place of our “faith which worketh by love”) Is it more? Something other? Life? Jesus Himself? (it would seem less than savory to refer to Him as an it though, wouldn’t it?) Might it be the whole of creation as a man might perceive it? Even extending to what he doesn’t see of it but senses its being “out there”…somewhere.

Here might be the place where what is called theology (even if described as a sort of discipline of thought or mind by which we express our sensing of reality) and philosophy (also a discipline, so to speak) happily exist. Even co-exist. For we find no prohibition in scripture against thought, meditations upon, nor consideration of the things expressed. Indeed, we are told to think (and who avoids it, anyway?) upon certain matters. “Consider the sparrows…” “Consider the lillies…” And who, if thinking himself a believer, can avoid thinking in terms of significance…of some drive to apprehend/understand matters presented as to their full meaning?

But our thinking is to be informed. Informed of matters whose end is always God and His Christ in light of any matter presented. In other words, to what end are we told to consider the sparrows? To the end that, in all of their lack of labors to sustain those things that sustain them (they neither plant nor reap) they are being cared for and fed. And that even beyond such observable activity (or lack thereof) there is an unwinking observer and carer, who not only provides…but is entirely aware when even one falls to the ground.

Yes, philosophy informed of God is not excluded nor proscribed in the strict sense of its meaning “love of wisdom”. That wisdom we are told that “comes from above”. (We are even warned of those who refuse to receive the love of the truth). The short summation might well be:

Think of all things in terms of the love of God shown us in Christ so that by such thinking/meditations, yes…even philosophizing of such end as found in God…we might also apprehend to the knowledge of God; not merely that “He is” (that must be settled), but how, in His being and expression of that being…He is. And here it must also be settled that this God, our God, Person of all person cannot be known apart from His willing of it. He cannot be observed, much less understood, in any way “at will” but by His own will.

And here we discover that no matter our seeming labors in either thoughts or considerations, it is a gift (of a will) to be invited to them, to be provided with open access to them (not forbidden) and such are ours made so by Christ. Ask, seek, knock…be “on the hunt” with a promise that in so doing one will never find disappointment…only abundance of joy. We are learning someone is making themselves known to us without reservation, without reproval for our “need to know”, no shaming of our ignorance as we investigate the obedience of God’s Christ to be seen in a man, even a man made like as we in all respects, but without sin. Even a man who, having come to be amongst us in a body and live out that life before us, made plain His own total dependence to be “shown” things. As He was unashamed of declaring this utter dependence (with manifest consequence made by the resurrection of His approval) likewise, we too, are unashamed of our not yet knowing for we are unashamed of whom we seek to its fulfillment. The Christ of God. Jesus.

But, yet again, even as so much of plainness is spoken of in the above: of Christ’s coming to live and abide amongst us, let us not forget what Jesus declared that “no man knows the Son but the Father and those to whom He chooses to reveal Him”. There is a seeing that is not true seeing; despite its sounding either too elitist, arcane or esoteric. It is not to the end of directing to gurus nor the spiritually adept, but rather that any sight of understanding be deeply appreciated as the gift it is and not taken for granted.

Here “To him who has, more shall be given…” is found working in a gratitude that is neither feigned nor can be manufactured. One is sharing in the Father’s delight in the Son, and the Son’s delight in His, and even our, Father. We are called into that relationship. And nothing else, nor less; for certainly it becomes clearer to us as we see that anything of else…would be less. No, we can never make too much of this union. We might at times hold it as less in some esteem, but it can never be over esteemed. For it is in this eternal union that all has flowed that we might know, or come to know both in creation of things seen and all those things we are instructed to look into that are beyond creation, even this very relationship. From atoms to nebulae (such as we apprehend them) all has flowed through and from this (our) God’s good pleasure in Himself. Even to be made known to us by His very spirit. No, “it” cannot be made less of. But all is open to the believer, even the “it” of it, to the believer for knowing, seeking, asking of grateful entreaty to see rightly. Clearly. Fully. Our God is not a tease. He withholds nothing nothing from the Son of His love; and to see Him “as He is”, our fervent hope in all, is to know both that indeed “all things have been given of the Father”, and no less, that He has done as promised, to make all things known to us in His showing us the Father. By taking us to Him, in Himself.

If we are warned against becoming dull of hearing, let us show ourselves sons by taking such word to heart, not casting off instruction and by such show ourselves His children and not bastards. God forbid we succumb to a casualness that prevents both our true hearing of what our Lord asked in prayer while in His days of flesh, nor the conviction of how our Father responds to the Son’s entreaties. (Yes and amen!) Even in this matter recorded (as all has been for our benefit) here:

Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world. (KJV)

And though I am tempted to highlight certain verses in the above, perhaps to the even making of a “point” I find salient, thankfully the spirit forbids. And am made content in seeking to answer my own proposal as to what is the “it”. To know the this of it.

Admittedly a man leaves himself wide open the moment he speaks. Or writes. Or does. He has made statement as to who he is, and of his estate. Everything has motive. Everything originates from a some place.

This should not be hard recognize as true; even if we also admit the discerning of such motives as a given of themselves are not as easily identified to particulars. Some seem obvious; but as with all seems, getting to the very root of a matter is rarely in all semblance to what we see or hear “above ground”. Before we can begin to appreciate this as true, particularly of ourselves, we must be brought to some agreement in knowing how much springs from the dark; beneath the surface so easily seen.

Again, we need not know all particulars, but unless or until we have had something of these two verses “worked” into us as applying personally to us (and not for the mere “handling of others”) we may be very much at a loss:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Along with Jesus’ restatement:

For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

O! but this leaves us in a dire place. Who can navigate here? This place from which thoughts and attitudes become words and deeds? Who dare make one move with this knowing? And worse…without it…how much has been done? And where is the man who can trust his own heart to tell him he is not defiling himself?

Who “knows himself” beyond what the Lord has said? Or better (or worse?) where is the man who has not seen something of these matters in his very own self? To say the Lord cuts us off from all hope in, or of ourselves by this knowing of us is not too drastic a word. Is it? What isn’t included there that all men, or any man might think he has escaped that eye? Who isn’t…even if at the very least, not caught by deceit? Who will say “I have never lied”? O! but that man might be the easiest to assess! Or, “I am honest” or an honest man…do we see how laughably plain we are put, (and put ourselves) on display?

We can go beyond evangelical considerations, but we can also stop for a moment to consider how very clear in its severity of pronouncement this is. How can a man be preached of such knowing of us to any benefit to us? Not only so, but who could preach such a man? And again, not only so, how can any hope be found for a man who (by a man) so plainly utters not only the hoplelessness of man in his estate as what proceeds from his own heart (nature) but that is all plainly seen to a defiling?

A persuasion must come (even though the man experiences it in himself) from someplace other than his own heart. Simply, the heart cannot bear such truth about itself…that ultimately it knows nothing of the truth…about itself. All is assumption, all leads to presumption, and the man who even believes he (of himself) is able to recognize such truth about himself and therefore would fashion for himself the image of a man who “prefers harsh truth over comfortable lies” is no less, lying to himself…again. And more. Oh, what a strange place of entry! Idols now appear almost everywhere! One might even ask…”must there be so much despair…and despairing of all else?” And now we begin to recognize Paul’s cry “O wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death?” This temple erected in all to serve an idol…our very own self.

But Paul knew. Do we? How the work of such despairing of our very own selves…is not our own work. We could not even recognize the righteousness of such fullness of despairing were it not for the persuasion of another. Someone able to “take us out of ourselves” but also maintain for us, by His power and entry alone, some recognition of self, some continuing identity of self as Paul sought to convey in:

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me…”

To speak of becoming dull of hearing by the oft repetition of this verse is hardly necessary. But, be that as it may, if one does not find some mystery of the man who states he lives while dead in crucifixion (nevertheless I live) but then goes on to say, and speak of the “yet not I”…well…if one does not sense a need for light of revelation here…

How does a man know himself as…yet not I?

And if you think one is merely trying to “torture a verse” to some end of mere philosophical musings…well have at it your self. But who will be tackling it, you…or the “yet not I”? Could you know? And if so, could you convince another? Better yet…are you convinced…of Paul? Can you…or do you believe Paul knew this, and of this, in himself?

As said, a man leaves himself wide open the moment he makes any statement. We have Paul’s statement. And now this is added to, or expanded upon, in question(s). You may not find my questions fair, or merely a rabbit trail on which I hope to slyly take you. If my speaking/writing signals a “too late” for me by making them known; you at least are still in the place of discerning that must precede their judgment. We are both now quite a bit “on the hook” for this, me for speaking…you for hearing/reading. And I find no place (nor will to desire so) that we be “let off” it, this captivity. Do you believe the spiritual man judges all things? What then is exempted from all things?

Are there any other places we might find light regarding of how a man knows himself…or better…is known? Did Jesus say anything about it? Are there any other places we might find where Paul gives testimony of such an operating? What would appear as an almost (if not concretely) made reference to a man being “occupied” so to speak? Where a man is broken down in, and from, what he formerly believed the integrity of himself as a unity, as of a “one” person in occupation (even of himself), but now discerned as being in parts?

Might it even be that a man cannot begin to proceed in revelation to a unity promised, prayed for, entreated of the Father on our behalf…unless and until he even recognizes his own fragmentation? The how he “behaves” within himself being revealed? Is our repair (and re-pairing) less than this profound?

Can you consider these things said by Jesus as His knowing of how man occupies himself?

And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? 

“And I will say to my soul…”

Obviously there’s a conversation taking place within this man. A one thing speaking to another thing…even his own soul. This would be enough, but let’s take it farther. Whatever “it” is (that “I”) speaking to that soul is clearly displayed as wrong. One would even say liar. There are not many years (as that “I” assures) to do or be anything…in fact it appears plain its rebuke will be both sudden and irreversible…even to some shock: “thou fool”. Do you (and I do not exempt myself) ever tell yourself…how things “will be”? Have you ever discovered yourself…wrong?Even quite wrong? All wrong?

Have you ever been married? Is that an unfair question? O! but don’t get this wrong…there’s great hope and help for the self that finds itself (has had revealed to itself) it is wrong! And even greater hope and help to be revealed when this is accepted as not in part. Not merely “mistakes” made, mere errors of judgment…as if it “might have done better”. That’s just pride still seeking its place while trying to hide behind some admission of error. As though a man “could know better”. This is still a man trying to save himself in some perverse thinking that the thing that didn’t know better…could have. It’s a man striving to occupy two places at once, thinking he can. Saying “the thing that didn’t know better could have known better if only I had…”

Done what? What can the “I” do in estate of not knowing better…to know better? Anything?

Our own expectations of circumstances and situations are always being dealt with. No less are any and all expectations of how we would react, or how we would “be” in any situation is also being exposed. We often hold many illusions about ourselves. God knows we needn’t go to Peter for this, yet we can if need be. But that will be of very little help if one only sees Peter in this. If we think such things only pertain to Peter.

All of God’s response to man is through the man Jesus the Christ and there is no “work around” nor go around. And His abiding presence and work which causes us to follow (again, if need be, ask Peter what can be shown of man’s ability to follow) will disclose many things to us, once hidden. Oh yes, we can be foolish and blame the situation as cause; having not yet come to the place as understanding all things are for the purpose of disclosure of things hidden.

We can think we are, or would be normally this or thus and so…but for an aberration into extreme circumstance. Yes, we can be foolish. But we are appointed to a very particular following after…even to the following of that man who came into the earth knowing it was to an end of very specific purpose never far from His knowing. We must hear Him. Hear Him without apology nor excuse nor reviling for a circumstance to which He was led.

“What shall I say then, Father deliver me from this hour? But it is for this very hour I have come, glorify your name”

Things will only sneak up on us, catch us unawares and provoke surprise or shock in our reaction only to the extent we both harbor illusions about ourselves and whatever remains of our unseeing of the Lord as He is. These two matters go hand in hand so to speak. And until they are resolved in and to us, things will remain to us very exterior in their working; not appreciating the hands of Him to which we are delivered into by Christ as now our Father (no less than Christ’s) nor the necessity of Him in presence, nor the extremity of this must:

There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.

And that “we” is no more nor less mine than it is more or less, yours. We must be saved.

And disclosure of our own estate goes a long way in the convincing of this. But no man can go there…into the revelation of all his own weakness and inability; even perversity made plain to his sight, unless he be led. And no man can bear it (its revelation), likewise, unless he be comforted by an assurance not his own.

If there is anything worth considering in Pt 3, it might be this:

“As many as I love I rebuke and chasten, be zealous therefore and repent”

It’s a rather plain statement, isn’t it? But the implications, plain as they might be in the plainness of the statement, are very penetrating. In one sense we are quite deconstructed in it, and by it. Do any already sense, even as I do in the reading of it, some very deep caution in handling it? At least as far (and no doubt much farther) as to any using of it to any personal end? But this, also and no less, is an intensely personal matter (what isn’t in God’s handling of man in Christ?) that begs our consideration in the light of Jesus Christ.

If our first inclination remains our only inclination, and our only understanding, how much can be missed? Mistaken? Misapprehended? If an all is presented but we are only satisfied with a part, even pleased only “in part”, God remains blameless. But we may find ourselves heaping judgment to ourselves, not by God’s lack of plainness, but by our presumptions in abundance.

I have no doubt, and have already expressed, of the immeasurable comfort that may be found there. But if we stop at, or remain fixed at: “I have felt the Lord’s heavy hand upon me, therefore I am surely (even if sorely) loved”, what might be “the more” we are in fact, despising in our knowing?

Oh, yes, we might admit we are very well aware (and often more aware) of those times, situations, circumstances in which we have sensed the humbling of coming up against the Almighty in a manifest defeat of our own selves (either in attitudes, words, or deeds) and in which, by receiving that gift of repentance we have been clearly shown the Lord’s righteous vindication of His Name.

We were in that sense beaten by another, shown His power of all supremacy that defeated (defeats) us, and, in admission of the fault of opposition now made clear to us (through that gift of repentance) come away or proceeded to, and now from, a place of more clarity. Or greater accord.

Yes, most of us are very aware of “our sufferings”. The things we have endured.

And here I am reminded of another thing mentioned previously to which we may rarely give words (except in an inner bias) “I sure do hope my most severe trials are behind me” Gee, must this also be “brought to light” again!…(if sensing any truth to it?) And why?

Are we yet renewed to the truth that someone indeed knows us better than ourselves, and have we found enough of grace to even admit that at times it is very uncomfortable (even irritating) despite the truth that there is no comfort outside of Him? It’s a strange thing this. Discovering a great desire to be loved, to be accepted (even to be made clear to us as taking place), yet not much wanting the rebukes and chastenings that are that very proof of its taking place. At the least…not wanting too much of them. What then are we refusing by this preference? This inner bias?

If we proceed from some understanding that all communication is to the end of making a thing known, even ourselves…thoughts, opinions, displays of deeds, convictions, dispositions, preferences it would appear there is a desire to be “known”. To make statement of who we are.

But we also find some limiting, do we not? We don’t want to be too well known…we don’t want all the beans spilled, do we? There are thoughts and excursions of mind we really prefer remain hidden and known only to us. A longing to be known…but not too well…known.

How seemingly paradoxical, as so much seems! A fellowship with a one with no seeming lack of knowing us, even to all knowledge of us (true to truth beyond our even knowing of our own selves) nor need to be moved by need! All the things we withhold (and often even deny of ourselves!) to maintain some presentability, even acceptability, are all too plain to Him.

How indeed, is this working? What is impetus? Perhaps there is much rebuking and chastening necessary, or so much more than we could either have ever imagined necessary, nor even ever wanted…to bring us to some fundamental confession that the word love in Christ’s mouth and our own, are two very opposing…and entirely different matters.

And as we discover this true of so many things…perhaps even all things of which Jesus Christ speaks, we might come to a place too plain: “I really have no idea, or had no idea (depending upon our estate) of what you mean, Lord Jesus” Both in the words you use and their meaning to you…nor even the “why” of why you speak them.

By simple confession we may find a door opened to us. Our trouble of understanding (or better, our troubles made plain in our not understanding) may lead to a very large place. Even as is spoken, “There I will give her back her vineyards and I will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope” A door in a place of trouble. And troubling.

(Pt 5 to follow)

Things build on one another. Written matters build on one another. We who believe especially, and are expressly told, we are all being built together into a Holy habitation upon a chief cornerstone and a foundation already laid. Therefore reference to what has “gone before” is never unfitting.

If addressing our need to feel useful in part 1, and the issues of mimicry (quite superficially) in part 2 bore address, may it not be misunderstood to imply that God cares nothing for our need, or indeed despises all attempts at imitation. These matters are made of use by God to help us see His Christ. Even Paul was unashamed to admit that, in part, his ministry was in hope of provoking some envy (the desire to have what another shows…which might progress to a need) and no less, recommended imitation.

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. (“Follower” there translated from the Greek word mimetai from which is easily seen the word “mime” derived with which we are familiar)

But what do we learn? Do we not learn there is something both need/desire and imitation lead us to? At least as far as we first understood their working in us?

If it could be reduced apart from presumption on my part (to think in terms of reduction rather than production) do we not find a something driven toward all longing for substance? Do we? Something taking us beyond a mere “want” of envy, (or any good thing even once identified to us as advantage) something beyond matters of performing (as sincerest imitation might reveal) to an almost unspeakable and indescribable hunger and thirst? A singular need (where once we thought in terms of our many needs and wants) of Christ, Himself?

This is a huge jump. And God forbid there be any misleading in these words. It is not that the believer receives any “less of Christ” than all of Christ through the faith delivered to the saints. No, it is not that at all. But there is growth. There is progress and a production being made in a place of earth (even these vessels) where we are advised to fix our eyes as though upon a light rising in a dark place; and to have our minds renewed. Everything is working toward a narrowing of sight, a singular focus less for the exclusion of the “elses”, but that all that is that is (and truly is) may be seen and known. A hugeness of all God has made life to us through His Son.

How much seems paradox! (?) This is a school and schooling like no other, this discipling and discipline. It is entirely contrary to all we have known and understood…especially in regards to what we formerly considered learning. And it touches everything continually, in the same way. All of what we thought we “knew” of desire, of life, of love, of good and evil, of relationship…of being in any and every sense is being handled…touched…illuminated to us, by another. Christ is being Himself in us. Not only in the sense of “acting like Himself” as one might say of another if seen as somewhat peculiar “Oh, he is just being himself”…but also that the very nature of being…is now being “in us”. Christ is all. And we learn something of substance, not only that “it” truly is (and weighty), but that this person of Christ now abiding within cannot and will not (for He cannot deny Himself) cause us to settle for less…than true substance. Himself.

And there is much coming “head to Head”. Yes, frank confrontation. In all of the old by which our minds were once formed to confronting this new abiding man. Many have already called it the battlefield…for it is. Here a curious reversal takes place. And it is glorious. We become unashamed to celebrate our own defeats in the light of His victory…even and particularly…over us! This seems queer, no? How can it be…and why would it? And it cannot be so till there comes the persuasion Jesus Christ has made all of His victory ours through His faith.

Being opposed seems no man’s joy, nor could it ever…apart from the reality of Jesus Christ’s abiding. For it is here these words become more priceless than all else we might find to compare

“As many as I love I rebuke and chasten, be zealous therefore and repent”

We may have once “admired” zeal, even sought after the knowing of it in some youthful exuberance to serve, but now we discover how zeal…is served. It is different. At least as we once thought. We encounter, on a level far more basic than ever known to us, changes of mind in its renewal. We see impossible things resolved to our sight, hidden things, mysterious things…far more than explained, but revealed. We come to know in some part what the apostle experienced and exclaimed:

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

Here there is no figuring out. Now calculating of how, or why, God does a thing. He either reveals or we have not known nor seen. All is in His hands to give through the revelation of His Son. He “does” no other way. Even (particularly) to what we may find the simplest sentence/verse of scripture, previously assumed “easy enough for a baby to grasp”…that apart from light given as to its depths we will either stumble about, handling things in a clumsy danger or entirely misconstrue.

Can this be overstressed? God knows. And God knows how needful is so much correcting that “As many as I love I rebuke and chasten…” becomes such a word of encouragement given that we not either lose hope, nor conclude we are on the wrong path. It is easy (for comfort’s sake, and no less, quite wrong) to be given to vain imaginations. The sort of thinking that would have us formerly consider and conclude any education/discipling in a thing makes for that ease of comfort in handling matters. Yet, what have we seen of Christ? What do we know of Gethsemane? And all that followed?

And how that all was leading to this, and for this.

Is there not a man among us who, in some way, harbors a deeply hidden phrase, which, if brought to light might sound like this: “I sure hope my most severe trials are behind me”?

Yes, and without doubt, I know we each have encountered places of testing; whose depths of severity has been both ordained of God, and for His good pleasure, in our growth in His Son. There is only rebuke for the man who thinks his own trials of endurance so far outstrip another’s that he might casually, or disdainfully, look upon those endured by any other part of the body. All in the body are enduring what is for the growth of the whole body, none exempted…and certainly, none unnoticed by God.

Yet, even Paul was somewhat embarrassed to “have to mention” those things endured in his following after Christ for the sobering up of those given into his care. He knew what he had gone through, endured for their sakes in his keeping to the faith, that he was sorely troubled they could be so easily persuaded by the some who sought a preeminence amongst them, not serving, but using them to elevate themselves. Paul saw what was going on. If necessary reread 2 Cor. 11. It is no less a chapter on love than the more widely known and quoted of 1 Cor 13.

Can you see a man discovering “things” about love that were entirely opposed to his once consideration of a man’s experience and estate of being a servant of God? A man once equipped with letters of endorsement, riding (if you will) a high horse on his way to Damascus to “do God’s will” now humbled before those he once sought to do away with? O, how lovely an idol it is to think one’s self a “man of God” till Christ is put on as only garment.

There we begin, by being disabused of such vanity, to understand our own dire need. But also (and not without hope) how sufficient Christ is, as only Christ is, to abundantly meet that every need. There is a pain we endure in watching our idols fall. Which God does not only not despise, but takes a great pleasure in. And as we endure by His grace alone, even to the watching of their toppling in His endurance, His abiding, we find a good pleasure being made known to us, revealed to us and in us…and is for the health of all the body of our Lord and Christ.

(Pt 4 to follow)

It is not hard to understand how the previous entry (Pt 1) seems rather severe. Almost a harsh expos`e. Our need to feel (of ourselves, or to ourselves) useful. And to think one (even, or particularly, as myself) who merely recognizes it has in some way escaped it, or has become immune to its gravitational pull and source; ie the self, would be the greatest folly for me to pose as such. Your folly would be to imagine that a fair exposition (if one has even been made) is interpreted to mean such a one has achieved any mastery.

If I am able to state this clearly enough so that even the wise might understand: No one gets good at bearing the cross.

We perceive things. Even (as believers) things that seem hidden to view by some (sometimes other believers and certainly what are known as unbelievers) and yet, and almost immediately, enter into what is the most common endeavor of all men seeking understanding.

We attempt to deconstruct to its elements; reverse engineer to the most fundamental place of our ability grasp and identify such fundamentals, and then, having it all broken down before us to each discernible piece, reassemble according to the pattern discovered in such reverse engineering and say “now I got it”…I have also made in whole what was once mystery to me. Now, it is no longer mystery. I can do this now, too. How common. How natural. How deceptive.

And since deception would seem, at least in some part, in the purview of the one calling himself believer; we might pay attention as to where it is identified and/or claimed to be. Let’s take a silly example. (Though I am persuaded if one thinks about this he will see how far it extends to almost all matters)

A man sees what he has never seen before, even such a thing he couldn’t believe possible previously. But now, he sees it. He knows now, not only of its possibility, but reality. He watches the Wright brother’s first flight. “How can this be? This thing that now is?” being clearly presented before his eyes.

Let’s say he steals into their hangar by night and either takes the contraption all apart and/or makes the most detailed and meticulous drawings of it…in every detail of angles of attachments, lengths of cables, size of bolts and screws, materials used, shape of wings, control surfaces, propeller, and power source. (You get the idea)

He duplicates perfectly. Now he flies. He may even think himself a flyer just like them. Do you see his deception? Does he…yet? It might not take long. But then again, it might…before he encounters matters of head winds, tail winds, cross winds, matters of which he was completely ignorant (not even thinking in terms of lift or the Bernoulli principle). Things the Wright brothers long experimented with, or in some far greater measure understood, accounted for…not to mention the most fundamental matter of all, the imagination and persuasion such was possible to achieve. Some things (actually many things) are not seen or “left out” due to their invisibility to a mere copier.

Even the very assumptions and presumptions of a copier may be the most invisible to himself, of all. Until. Until he discovers the relationships of climb, and power (thrust), and drag and stall. (After all, all he wanted to do was fly, not have a thing cost him his life!)

I would think I only make myself tedious were I to attempt to make any explanations and correlations of how much more this applies to matters of the faith. Even a faith we are told (do we yet know?) which “worketh by love”.

I would also think stating the obvious to the perceptive/discerning were also not necessary (and far too numerous to recount) of crashings and burnings. How that I have not died…gracefully. How that the “parts” I liked always ended in a part I didn’t like, even a right consequence and due assignment to any taking of the name Jesus Christ into my mouth.

Some of you, God knows, maybe many or all of you already know this. This would again be a great help…to me! to knowing the safety of my own uselessness above all. I am far safer finding myself an object lesson as a copier than being allowed to continue in some presumption I have “come up with anything”.

This searching out of “a” part I didn’t like by my inclusion of it in experience (I rarely endeavor to understand why I like what I like…I just “do”) has even helped me with that part in parenthesis. All has been help to me. All has been help for me. And all made even all the more particularly and exquisitely personal in pain when I have proceeded as though I am a helper. There is all too obviously something made perfectly fitting to me personally for that place of presumption. The piercing is simply too perfectly accurate.

Now, please do not misunderstand. I am not saying there isn’t or shouldn’t be pain. Not as though I would deny the Lord’s sufferings on our behalf, God forbid! Or have some notion He was made immune to pain by some trick of mind or spiritual cleverness…again, God forbid! To the contrary, and hoping to not put too fine a point to the matter, pain and suffering are not quite the same. Suffering has more to do with processing the experience of pain…even as a woman being sawn in half has a different experience of matters than a woman giving birth…though great pain is experienced in both. And both may feel such greatness of it to the convincing of their own death in such excess.

No.

What I am saying is this. I came to perceive a great gulf, a great divide…even insurmountable to me lest I be given some light sorely lacking between the man who said “God, yes” while I discovered only the man screaming “God, no!” in whatever pain he knew. I had to know how this is reconciled. This man, and that man. Something, or better, someone was plaguing me, paining me, with discontent in my darkness. Would God…pain a man so? And…if so…to what end? Why would “that man” ever submit and still maintain such mercy (Father forgive them…) for this man whose only issuing forth in pain was complaint? What “is” working…invisible to the man?

Could it be that one man really knew nothing of suffering? Man, but he’d need a lot of help. Even all of it.

(Pt 3 to follow)

God won’t let it.

That sounds simple enough. And it is.

But whether you’ll find anything worthy of exploration and/or consideration in the following is entirely between you and God. There can be no compelling from my side. There is no authority granted me, or any other man, to determine what is of necessity to you.

The only authority given among any of us who call ourselves believers is to speak according to the Lord’s work in us, ourselves, apart from laying burdens upon one another of such sort. So it is that apostle came to a right conclusion of having no dominion over any man’s faith, but to merely be a helper of their joy. And even that merely described is a result of careful tutelage in many lessons that are testimony to the Lord’s patient endurance with us.

We discover many things about help. And as with almost everything the Lord leads us through our first inclinations may be to think exteriorly. The help is needed “out there”. The gospel is needed out there. Jesus Himself is most needed out there. And so, if under this delusion all is interpreted according to this misapprehension. And much can grow from this soil. And will. And must. Until such time as the Lord allows for our tasting of such fruit that, as if hollowed out and filled with dust, we now know is of no health…both to us, nor to any.

For we have been eating it as it were from the inside before maturity, taking from it for ourselves anything of value beforehand that might yield true life. Nothing lasting nor eternal…is found in it. We have gobbled it up for ourselves. Can this be understood?

We would first have to have disclosed to us the many snares of soul that accompany the delusion mentioned. Do you know the attraction of thinking oneself a “helper”? How that implicit in that presumption of estate resides its most obvious unstated appeal? But let’s state it, for it is all too clear before God. If one is a helper, and sees himself thus (and who hasn’t?) then it is obvious he himself, as helper, is not the one in need of help. He is now set apart (and how the soul loves its own distinction(s)!) as one above, rendering from superior position to the lesser(s) in need of him (and his help).

If allowed to continue in such delusion (even to being deluded as to what is soulish vs the spiritual) one will come to a very frank confrontation with himself as liar before God. For he may, as God allows, sense a truth that there is most shocking to him, even of such magnitude as to awaken him to all that he has previously done in so called “labors in, or for, the Lord”. He will discover he has only been serving himself as idol…all the time while preaching how necessary Jesus Christ is to and for life, he has been holding himself as the one necessary…even as deliverer of such message.

Do we think God does not see? How we use Jesus Christ to our own ends? Not unlike Elijah who bewailed his fortune before God as being the “only” one left to uphold God’s testimony, we find God unimpressed with what the man thinks of himself. But who of us is in any position to judge Elijah in, or for this? We may at best recognize ourselves; and even be thankful God has preserved such testimony that in due time we too may be set in order and remember.

Such experience is not uncommon to man, and such attitude is not rare before God. Ha! Unless we think ourselves so special as to be exempted! And God has a very pointed way of disabusing us, not necessarily of our special-ness, but to redirect to Him who remains singular to us all, Jesus Christ. The cross is unfailing in its work to divide any misconceptions we may have to His ability and our need. Yes, our need…of help.

One would rightly say “But are we not set apart, are we not special (in that sense) to God? Are we not a peculiar people…a treasure even to God, the inheritance of His son, paid for with such a great price?” and such considerations are most worthy to both speak and meditate upon. Yes! Indeed! True! And so true in truth that the soul unappreciating of their magnitude of truth must be rebuked. The soul can stop “trying” to take to itself matters to make itself special all other impoverished matters of propping up that pale as dung before gold in the light of such truth. Yes! Part of the (our) peculiarity (perhaps the greatest part) is that we are given to see by the work of Christ on our behalf the value of true and eternal things that are unshakably accomplished as opposed to the weak and beggarly elements of which all the world is seeking after.

The world strives to be “too big to fail”, too necessary for dispensing with, but we carry a far greater testimony of Him who overcame it…all its glitter, all its offerings, all its threats and intimidating by size and proclamation of dread consequence if resisted. We are saved…by one. One single man…against and from all of the world’s armaments. And all the Devil’s schemes. He alone…is our defense.

But saying this and knowing this may be shown to us as having been two different things in us, yet God is patient to bring us to know our confession(s)…(even if in all weakness made more weak by some foolish attempts to prop up self esteem) are true. God intimately knows our frame…and framing. And here we may find “the one” most in need of all help. Ourselves.

There is absolutely no shame in this, and God forbid any of this sound as though anyone is seeking to shame another. In this we are all “in the same boat” so to speak. Of being enlightened to the glory of the Lord Jesus. There is no shame in that glory. There is no vain coveting of it, as though the Lord would say “you can come this far but no farther, for I am keeping the best part from being sullied by your knowing”. God forbid. “The glory thou hast given me I have given them” must become true in our hearing. Otherwise we shall seek (and if necessary, be allowed to find) the very thing the Lord states as an enemy of faith “How can you believe who receive glory of one another?”

And we might admit, as need be, before God, such cleansing of all other “glory” (that is not glory at all, but a shame to man) is only made ours through the knowledge of His son, our Lord. And how we need it. Yes, we ourselves. Even first before any other. That our only life is in Him, by Him, and through Him and His work. Even to putting striving souls to rest. Souls that have, even in what may appear smallest way sought to make themselves larger having fallen for the “too big to fail” temptation. “If I am just right enough, I am acceptable” And then, can never be found dispensable. Even to “See? I…even I, am just trying to be a help…isn’t that good enough?”

It is good to be made able to hear God’s laughter. It is pure, it is Holy, it is a sure thing. And God forbid any misconstrue the abundant entrance provided by Jesus Christ is not sufficient to even change a being laughed at to the glory of a laughing with. Take the Lord…seriously. Take your calling…seriously. But yourself? Be the most malleable thing of all, the weakest thing as putty in the hands of another. What issues from Heaven to you is above all precious. What may issue from yourself…to yourself, learn to discern.

I think I understand how easily this can all be made subject to some twisting. How that it can be made to sound as though an exercise in merely self abasement, false grasp at humility, and really, no more than a man seeking to make himself necessary, even as a helper. Thus making all this no more than the self aggrandizing it would, or may appear, to decry. Yes, I am kinda trapped myself. A caught thing. A captured thing. A thing that is no less caught “speaking” as though caught in the act is now subject to being accused; and by that very act, of being persuaded it has something to add, something to be of help. Well, yes. I am subject to accusation!

In truth…it’s far safer for me to agree. And I am the one who needs all the help there is. Particularly from the only One who can even save hypocrites.

Part 2 to follow.

Those places where considerations and conversations take place before we share them; where things that “bubble up” from the depths we cannot plumb suddenly burst in conscious idea and thoughts, and are either pursued or judged. Where we think about our thoughts, ruminate over them, speak to ourselves of their either value or corruption, are frightened or intrigued by them and where, ultimately, decision is made to act upon or share them. Or seek their discard. We believe they are ours to do with as we will. They seem…in every way our own. Un-witnessed but by us, unknown but by us, and judged…only by us.

Oh, but we are strange creatures in our assumptions! Strange in having them, made stranger still in their abundance, and even yet made stranger in a blithe acceptance to their ignoring. We think so many things are “one way” to us according to these assumptions; as a whole house is built upon a foundation that to each seems as level as can be, and goes up according to that level into that tower within we know as ourselves. And live in. And for the most part, despite the tenuous manner in which rooms are added to rooms, level added to level, we think ourselves sort of monolithic. I am “one” person. One in number and one in unity with myself. I am one I tell myself! I am me. And beside me there is no other…like me.

At least until a moment. And a moment like no other. An intrusion; even invader if you will, who shakes the very foundations of ourselves. Not merely upsetting our assumptions, but upending them as a plow turns the ground beneath the growing grass below its roots and exposes them to the withering light and heat of day. How shallowly we have entrusted ourselves to our being, how nakedly now is made clear we really have no root in ourselves below the mere surface. Yes, such a day can come…and has. When our tower is shaken to foundation and even below it, and all the language we have used in building is now foreign to us as a strange tongue indeed, confused in every way. When light comes and our doing within ourselves is exposed as seen, heard…and completely understood by another; and all assumptions, like vapors, begin to vanish.

We said “I am myself”…”I am one” but suddenly such is shown so very odd. For who was in the speaking? Who was the hearing “one”? Was “I” the one telling me? Or was it the “I” hearing me tell myself? Was “I” my thoughts? Or was the “I” the one perceiving them…as a man might watch a movie screen from his seat? Am I the on screen…or in seat? And…what of the projectionist in the booth behind me that I cannot see…choosing what movie will play out…is it upon me (as screen) or to me, as seated observer? I am not to myself as “one”, nor nearly as monolithic to myself as once I imagined, nor assumed.

It can be unsettling to see this totally reliant interplay…how that any lack or loss of that once assumed control a man believes he has over himself is to total effect. And most of all he begins to understand the depths that cannot be plumbed; find the seat where the projectionist abides from which this place of bubbling up of thoughts, projection of thoughts to the conscious mind…originate. Who, or what is in there? Call it a booth or depths, it does not matter. No amount of thinking, maneuvering, twisting/turning, craning of neck or imaginations can follow that beam through the darkness to its origins to reveal the projectionist’s face, or his intents and purpose. Think of clever way to draw him out, to make him show himself, to force him to prove to you who and what you are to yourself in heart of heart; true and full of reason, or evil and full of deceit?

Go ahead, try it. See if you can let go of your assumptions about yourself, by yourself…to truly know yourself. Use every trick you can think of to be sure to prevail upon and conquer this unknowing of your own depths to be sure of yourself. Follow back that beam…(as though to that projectionist’s booth) or down into what appears as depths from which and from where motives truly originate. Really , go ahead…get past that place of imaginations and assumptions you have that have kept you playing at the merest surface where you interface with others according to “My motives are good, they simply must be” or, “I am honest with myself and therefore with others” or even “I am beginning to know myself”… those first fractions of an inch we expose. The where we live. The merest surface to which we invite others to for their living with us.

Put on that wet suit, take that deep dive let go of the assumptions that buoy you, take a deep breath and hold it, ready to embrace those stones of doubt about yourself that will help you descend deeper…see how long and how far you can go without need to come back up for the air of “but you are a good person, a true person, a nice person to be around and play with”… “don’t be troubled or trouble yourself” the answers of all the other shallow swimmers that you embrace to feel not alone.

Or think you can grab a flashlight and sneak around back of the projectionist’s booth and ascend to where he is seated…and surprise him. See him, capture his being in your sight to a knowing of him in order to know yourself…as though he can be caught sleeping and unaware of your seeking him out. Just remember whence the even thought of trying to capture him has come from. He doesn’t sleep. He gives you ideas…even if they be to “try and find him out”. See how clever clever can be…and either surrender to:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

and the giver of that truth as guide, or just continue to lie to yourself and others about knowing who, and what you are.

Jesus Christ never came up for air nor that air of comfort all other men seek after. He alone breathes in the darkness and into the darkness the breath of life, even descending into the very lowest parts of the earth to make His deposit of light. He died in His going and getting there, where no man can live except God give light, life, and breath.

And there He received it back to Himself…the resurrection.

And He exposed the one formerly seated. And where he ruled in cleverness.

We preach not ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord.

Poor dear, and you thought the universe outside was large, deep, and mysterious.

For there is nothing hidden except to be revealed.