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God knows what power and work it takes for a man to see, and to some extreme, himself. O! but this is no small matter and cannot escape wonder. Yet it is of great necessity it be accomplished on our behalf, for without firm establishment of identity and identities how can there be relating or relationship? A self in relation (or relationship) to another cannot escape the necessity of this knowing…for lest it be made clear all presumption cannot but ensue. Do we see that?

The examples that may be given make it all the more plain so that I am confident none of us are unaware. And again, without apology for entrance into what only appears paradoxical, we venture.

As close as both a man and woman may become even in bond of marriage, or even using friends as example, we know lines can be crossed. (Do we?) Those places or circumstance where one oversteps and inserts themselves and even exerts themselves into matters an “other”, or the other sense an unlawful incursion. Oh yes, I can speak “for my wife” in many things, and she for me no less, but there are, and have been times where I must be reminded, as forcefully as needed, “You are not me!”. No matter how close we may get or be (and with friends, no less) once we allow a blurring to cloud our sight to such extent of presumption there must be a reestablishment of identity(s). Yes, we can get very close in a marriage, very close in a friendship so that even to an observer we appear as one, and we may even make such proclamation “we are one in marriage”…but in that relationship where others, even observers “are not” we cannot escape the necessity of knowing identity.

This is where paradox only seems and is assigned its place to being only of appearance. The paradox is only washed away in reality. And by the reality that is Christ.

It’s almost too simple as to not need any elucidating. Nevertheless I enjoy my liberty as I hope you, no less, enjoy yours. Simply…no matter how close, no matter how deep, no matter to what extent we proclaim our joining in and to the Lord, embrace our joining in the Lord, yes, even gloriously rejoice in our joining in the Lord, none of us is that very Lord, Jesus the Christ of God. He remains who He is, His identity secure…and even by Him and His work alone, is it that we (no matter how strongly we be knit together) not only find ours, but are given to maintain ours! O! but this seems even more paradoxical! Is this writer saying “A man doesn’t even know himself or his own identity till he be joined to Christ by Christ, and in Christ?”

Yes.

Nor does he know his brother(s). Or any, for that matter. Nor can he keep an identity, apart from this work.

If we consider what we have been given of Christ, and by Christ as our life, and our instructions for healthy pursuit (and handling, if you will) we may consider such as this in that light:

And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man’s, who shall give you that which is your own?

But as to identity, as to the “who’s who” in our relationships, we submit God has never had this matter as issue. He surely knows Himself fully, who and what He is, and even all things of creation, surely including anything of us. It is we who need light, not God. God who is all that light. Is it too far a stretch, or in sounding too condemnatory to say once we assumed our very selves to be…that god? We walked in our own light. Yes, to ourselves we once were. It took (and always takes) the work of God to establish to us…who we are, and who He is. We are creature and created thing, He is not. He is first in all and always, we are not (unless by some folly we still hold some persuasion we are responsible for Him and not He as responsible for all.)

But here is another thing we enter as we do in this establishment…we are granted to appreciate “other”. Oh yes, we can enjoy (and do) the many things and matters of which the arm of His salvation has secured (liberty being one)…but again, no matter how deeply this may extend to us, even in such sharing of, and by Him toward us…it is almost laughable to ask… no it is quite laughable, does that make any of us…God? Lord?

O! but you say, how ridiculous! Yes, indeed. But I will also assume (or is it presumption?) you are not unfamiliar with some who have gone about proclaiming (often ending under a psychiatrist’s care in some institution) “I am Jesus Christ!”

O! What we have entered! What we are called to! To even know God…as God…is no matter for slighting! Yes, we can recite and cite the scriptures as need be “Sanctify the Lord in your hearts”…”let” Him be continually set apart to all special place of preeminence. Reserve to Him (as even granted us by Him in such power toward us as gift to do so) such place of all exaltation, for truly it is this that keeps us from the insanity (and is therefore come to be seen more as gift) than a stridency of law uttered to us. Knowing Him, is what keeps us from the crazy. Despite how and to the world they would define it as.

This is what keeps us…from return descent into that abyss of crazy land. God gives us gift of preservation and prevention of such once confusion…and the truth of the matter is…the more He reveals of Himself…the very much more we know (even as we draw closer) “I am not…Him”.

It does seem almost paradox, no? Wouldn’t the lines have to get blurred? Wouldn’t being so strongly “in another” make confusion impossible to resist and be overcome by? But thankfully, gratefully, truthfully, “it” is all and only (our being in Him) what plainly shows and even delivers us from, the very confusion of our once estate to even hold such (now) obvious absurdity. No matter what authority, placement, knowing of being in Him we may see, enjoy, or be granted in Him, and by Him, none is ever less than for this working in us (O! you are God and I am not!) and sharing commonly with and to one another.

We “get to” love! We are granted such grace, such allowance to both know and enter into what we thought we all knew…till we met Him! And began our discipleship under His tutelage. We are student, He is Master. We are loved (and even know of it) only because He first loved us. He is the all in all, and we are blessed to know Him as that.

No one “around the throne” is either sorry about the activity of casting their crowns, nor confused as to Whom such is rightly cast. Without this, do we see, or better, with this (do we see) we are given such a great gift to worship, to adore, to, yes…reverence and appreciate a One beheld?

Do we need fresh eyes? Have you ever needed “fresh eyes” to see your wife…as she truly is, and not as she may have become to you “Oh, it’s just her…again” through the wearing thin of time’s constant beat toward familiarity? Yet…suddenly…we may find ourselves as men “taken out of time”…men delivered from all that is prone to “take for granted” a whole of creation that is perfectly formed…and not only so, but also being perfectly upheld to a precise end.

As surely as this works in us for and to God for our joy, so it does, and is, and must work in us toward one another…and absolutely no less! How humdrum and boring and monotonous with the dread rhythms of hell must all otherwise become!
And is!

In Christ each member is an unsearchable well of gift(ing). And how each is received and “handled” speaks both of what we have received…and what we may yet be in need of.

O! but does that sound too “high and mighty” of a man to say?

But I didn’t. A new man did, Even the new man, did.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

O! yes, when we see that man so prone to taking things for granted, for assuming to a presuming, for going along thinking in anything less than, or according to anything other than the reality of the newness of life…we meet him. Thanks be to God for the One who delivers us from his clutches! The only one who can deliver from such dire darkness and (of) presuming!

O! this salvation! O! this work of God in Christ to us, and for us!

Do we need fresh eyes…for God? For a wife? For a friend? For all and everything? Even…enemies as we may think them to be? God help us!

Do I pain you with too frank disclosure? Does it hurt a bit? It does, doesn’t it? But so you do not think there’s a wounding of unnecessary infliction to bring a man down a notch or two so he won’t be so hurtful, will you believe?

Will you believe a man who has seen his wife…as enemy? Is that not enough? Then God also and no less? His Christ, too? Seen Him as enemy…of some fault. (Never confuse responsibility for fault, lest you be found frankly demanding all responsibility be placed upon you…a responsibility one cannot bear to the showing of all faults of which one is unaware.)

Paul had it settled to him. There is no fault in Christ, and He is well able to take all responsibility for us.

We are weak. He is both faultless and responsible.

Too much?

Then be a help and knock a man down a notch or two. By lifting up another Man.

After all, it is no less than your calling in Him to do so. To be a help so.

Do you…can you, will you…love me?

Whatsoever you do as unto the least…

This is what a true friend has told me:

These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself: but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes.

Yes, it is enough a man, even any man, have one true friend who has such power as to cause one to live through this.

One friend is necessary. More friends are not unnecessary.

There are eyes before which I, and no man, can lie. He has His as He is who He is.

And His eyes are as a burning fire.

And I am what I am.

And you are what you are.

“Why so much about Paul?” is a fair question. Or why so much mention of him and the writings (are they revelations to any?) given through him with some obviously and comparatively less mention of some others? Good questions. Fair questions, if they exist in any other as they are not non-existent in me, also.

God knows.

No doubt this can appear a coy response if there are such questions. It does seem to be, in some sense, too handy a ploy or catch all; nevertheless I can only rest where God has allowed me. God knows.

Our all and only justification for things done, things not done, views and perspectives held vs whatever blindness remains, is only one, Jesus the Christ. We may see things, we may say things (we are even encouraged to it) but there is, for us, only one foundation upon which any can, or anything is that is, is standing. All things being upheld by the word of His power. Even folly when allowed.

Just as it is to me, and for me, impossible to distinguish in myself faith from presumption (I must be shown) or of those places where I have spoken too much, or too little, I cannot justify myself. Nevertheless, having the same spirit of faith, we speak. Even (even most particularly!) that when we speak not from faith but from presumption…we have faith of being corrected. Disciplined. Chastened. Rebuked. We have a Lord, we have a Father, diligent in and to such.

And even if or when we think we see guidelines and rules, as salubrious as they may sound or appear, we dare not trust in ourselves to their fulfilling. We are (strangely in this faith) made open to being shown all wrong and that…because of Christ, and only so, it is alright. Now, admittedly this sounds too much a way of carelessness and caprice, but how this is not so is for another book, for now. (How can it be made alright to be wrong?…yes…a very good question!)

Saying that, there is no explanation as to my knowing all, or any of my “why’s” I might present as explanation, must come short. Even to any question of “Why so much about Paul?” But we are to share what we see even of not knowing all (or any) of the why’s we have been given to see it…as to us in particular. We are told sight helps the whole body to the extent it is given by God through Christ. Yours, mine, and ours. If we deny this mutuality, then we are no less denying any mutuality in Christ and of Christ, whose body we are. All and anything given of God to any part in the knowledge of Christ in even the deepest and most closeted finding, builds up the whole. And all is for comfort, encouragement (yes!) even rebuke and if or as need be, chastening. We don’t get to choose at this buffet “I only came for the dessert cart”. We are eating all the Lamb.

That being said, what might be seen (rightly, or wrongly, God knows) of Paul? A man conspicuously chosen? Is that a thing seen? A man in such and particular state of mind as to be totally opposed (at least to himself) and going about to do all he could in his strength and by whatever means and authority available to him to wipe out the name of Jesus from among men by by bringing as many as possible of those who declared that name to prison and/or death? Is that a thing seen? A man in some experience of the very precise targeting of God to all particularly personal (O! so personal) experience… “Saul, Saul”! Is that a thing seen?

And here, may God help me. For you may see a “seem” inconsequential and I may be in all presumption of raising it, nevertheless…may it not be to anything but wholesome provocation for investigation. God knows. But here we have a man (if we believe) called, chosen, even under the most miraculous of circumstance (but is it ever less for any man?) included in and among a company as one “not having known” Jesus the Christ in the days of His flesh, who is included in this company and by this company who once, in seeking to determine how such would be chosen said:

Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us, must one be ordained to be a witness with us of his resurrection.

No, the case is not being made (nor can it) of any rule or constraint being made of the disciples called as apostles to “of whom” they must or only could, choose. Yet, they showed a persuasion that it ought to be of one who was physically with them (and Jesus)

all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us

There is no case they were mistaken in this, nor that the lot falling to Matthias was in any way less than God’s choosing. They had, these apostles, by prayer and all they knew to that time…sought to remove from their own hands and preference…any choice being made according to any of their own preference. This is no accusation of some falling short or error. But it shows disposition and even to whom they limited such choosing…(one who went in and out among them) which may surely have been according to God’s instruction to them.

But they encountered an “expansion”. (Do we?) When Paul’s revelation was presented, when Paul’s testimony heard, when Paul’s spirit was discerned as being in and of the spirit of Christ…and even as one quite particularly who had never accompanied Jesus (after the flesh), they (after the flesh), even once strenuously opposed (after the flesh)…with all this (is it a thing seen?)…he could not be denied his place in the body…and was indeed acknowledged as an apostle of no less standing nor stature than those who ate, drank, slept beside, walked dusty roads, “heard” Jesus through compressions of air expelled over vocal cords, witnessed overturned merchants tables, than any other.

This (dare it be said?) “should” hold no less wonder nor lack of glorious praise (in its form) from us as it once did from a “them”:

But they had heard only, That he which persecuted us in times past now preacheth the faith which once he destroyed. And they glorified God in me.

Do you ever think of yourself at some remove? Consider that in some way you (or I) are disadvantaged by time and/or circumstance? That a “something” more manifestly displayed in power and glory happened in “a then” and according to some (even if minutely) different working than discerned in some “now”?

Yes, to me, Paul speaks (and is even a wonderful example of all hope) against such folly I have often given myself to.

And yes, Peter does no less. John does no less. Even their chastening and rebuke against such folly cannot be denied. They too came to well understand what man understood about the frailty and unprofitability of the flesh according to its own knowing:

Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more. 2 Cor 5:16

Odd, right? At least in some way, right? Paul wrote this (or was given it to write) even sounding as though he were one claiming to have once known Jesus “after the flesh” in that “we”. But we know he wasn’t in the common sense of knowing as once the other apostles also knew Him, what His feet looked like after a dusty walk, what His breath smelled like up close, what His height was compared among them. NO. Not that at all. Yet he still wrote “we” to include himself as one once knowing after the flesh.

Yes, paul understood something of an enlightening necessary worked even curiosuly and strongly in himself…to all dissuasion against “knowing after the flesh” and all persuasion to knowing only after the spirit.

And, thanks be to God what was worked in him as one “born out of time” to lay hold, grasp, secure by true testimony that “what is for one, is no less than for all”.

And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

The sufferings of Christ and the honor upon Jesus the Christ is/was enough to transport him.

God forbid we think otherwise in any way.

I belabor again the matter of belaboring things. For when found contending the matter of our experiences in Christ being both intensely and exquisitely personal, there is no choice to it. We must go, as we must go. Nor am I ashamed of this matter of seeming paradox or apparent contradiction how that God, through Christ assembles us to, with, and even in one another, and to no less measure than we are in Christ. As much as we are of and in Christ, we are no less of and in the body, together.

This is itself a marvel to consider, such a particular fashioning, such a personal marking of ownership that, apart from the spirit that binds us to one another, we might all easily conclude…each is made too differently from the other to fit…yet it is precisely this work and working that both causes us to fit, and reveals our fitting. The stamp of ownership, the mark of purchase is upon each, regardless of how differently these matters (even so personally wrought in us and to us) might otherwise appear. The same spirit is all and only what is distributed for any recognition, no matter appearances as discerned otherwise. And learning to recognize the Christ of God as He is, even in His body, is both our calling and delightful portion.

And of course, God forbid we fail to recognize a one as our brother Paul. Though some may argue his calling was too particular, his assignment too distinguished, his office of such manifest difference to all or any other that he is himself beyond consideration (as both no more nor less a part of this body than any other) and as such is “off limits” for personal consideration…there is but one question, “did he?” The question is simple. Who, in all scripture we have as one won to Christ, is more forthcoming about his personal estate, his personal struggle(s), his confessions of weakness and yes, sometime fear and doubt about whatever things he mentions, than he?

And since this is raised to some contention the counter contention could easily be raised…why consider him then “more” than any other? Why find him (or some of his revelations) worthy of “more probing” more discussion, more observation, then? Surely we could say sheer volume or weight of writing, or matters of depth in exposition. But then, do you see, if we consider all “of that” weighty stuff so worthy of consideration…this itself adds weight to anything we might also consider as sort of personal confession of his, no less. Or do you (or I, or we,) still thinks in terms of some is wheat, others stuff is well, more chaff-like? God knows, we may. Do we?

God knows…if he is indeed “deep”, then all comes of that depth. His fears. His doubts. His labors and struggles. His self confessions. Be careful then (who can say such!?), for how many have been comforted (have you?) by such word as “My grace is sufficient for you” while having no regard to discarding those trials through which such provoking of seeking came…to hear them? Yes, indeed, Paul tells us much about himself. And the way of his seeking after the Christ and in its effects upon him. We are caught then, aren’t we in this matter, even as we are (and no less as we are) made captives of Jesus Christ and to one another. Christ’s exceptionalism, preeminence, or [sic] exceptionality (God forbid), should never keep us from considering Him to all depth. God forbid we care to remain ignorant of whom and what we eat as life. And:

It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

And if we believe (do we?) Paul was given to speak and write according to that same spirit of Christ given and received, even as things of life to us, then surely all recorded is worthy for taking in.

Even such matter as:

For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.

Mentioned. And in this context of coming to question (as some man might in finding such prevalence of sin when seeking after Christ) “is Christ then a minister of sin?”

But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid! For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.

It was as it has to be, and had to be settled to Paul, as it must no less to us that, there being no sin in Jesus the Christ, there can be no ministry of it from Him.

Think for a moment, saint. Think of any or any place in which you may have once held misgiving about the Lord and His gospel. Think even if you can, and God allows, of those places of your strongest objection if possible. Did you ever think Jesus accursed? A cursed one? A blasphemer, a carrier and promulgator of all un-righteousness and dissuader of persons to the most perverse of leading…that you sought disciple’s deaths…as one might seek to wipe out a cancer?

You know, even some of the most “hardened” atheists I have ever spoke with still concede (in their feigned magnanimity) “Jesus said some pretty good stuff”. But Saul of Tarsus? Spare none, kill or imprison them all. Of course you know this. Paul had a quite particular view of that man named (and called) Christ by His disciples…and strenuously went about (thinking he was doing God’s work) to wipe them out wherever they be found. Sin? This was its deepest working to him. Perverting the way of God, delivered to the “Jews”…even to the perverting of Jews, and Jewery.

Now in this context, when such matter of sin and sinner(s) arises (to Paul, no longer that Saul) in consequence discovered when seeking after the Christ of justification, can we see what was settled to Paul…completely…that there can be no consideration that Christ is the cause of sin found? Yes, he would not rebuild to that place once torn down, once so completely settled to him that to do so would itself be the fuller measure of transgression displayed…to now attribute sin to Christ. Yes, to him as settled as settled could be to a man that there is neither unrighteousness, cause of stumbling, nor anything of any unsavory nature issuing from Christ. And lest we forget, it is the Paul (once Saul) who had to have an entire disposition uprooted and set aright by God’s revelation of His Christ.

That we all know of this, have easy access to the scriptures testimony about this once Saul, should not diminish appreciation nor be casually taken of God’s work of persuasion and convincing. And that, no less toward us who believe, such power is in exercise.

Yes, we will come to places of deep upsetting at times, places of such seeming desolation at our seeing, even despairing of ourselves that we may (God forbid) hold something against the Christ as a fault of His, in bringing us to such seeing and knowing.

God forbid!

One may say that whole matter:

But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners

Is something neither to you, about you, or for you, but that Paul was perhaps writing to some other particular man, but not you. Well enough. And that even any matter of raising it (as in these few words and pages) is of no consequence to or for you. God forbid I disagree.

But for those few (even if only one other) that finds some place of relating to it, be comforted to know you are neither alone nor without…relatives there. As need be keep pressing on past all other dissuasion to a lie in the persuasion of that truth whose power is working in all, no less toward you, in you, and for you, than it was in Paul.

Indeed Paul is very, very special. Assigned to carry a full testimony, and unashamed to share it.

For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God.

If you are in any way convinced toward “yes, but it was for him alone in his specialness”. Then how wrong he would be found to have shared it. He was not reluctant to speak of things by mention, that he could not mention. He refrained to utter that which is/was unlawful to him in a man’s being:

How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.

Of those thins we need not speculate. Of things unspeakable and unspoken.

But of things he has said in his liberty in Christ, it may be well for a soul to hear.

When we are persuaded by the Spirit to that matter of unity of Spirit, even our unity in the spirit of Christ, all is that is made available to us is then in beginning to be shown of what has been made available to us. And God help us we need to be persuaded to certain matters. Just as Jesus told those following “Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.”

And we might even say that all the subsequent writings, messages, preachings and revelations laid out (some to us recorded on material page, some still on the wind of the spirit unrecorded in ink) are all in service of our knowing of what Jesus has done, and Who/what is in Him. And is even now, doing. The same yesterday, today, and yes, forever.

The above, of course, is troubling to some. One might see a provocation toward speculations. An invitation to fill in blanks of places that are off limits because “we are only to deal and handle according to only what is written down”. And yes, that is a persuasion of some or many, that if any man holds, no other man has authority to impugn. We have no dominion over any man’s faith. Let each walk according to what they have received.

And if it is of anything of note (each will see for themselves, but not without effect upon the body) that the baskets we may carry, (or wineskins we are) as full as they are or are not, are very much according to some persuasion that our persuasions are for the persuading to…and that inclusive of others. And if there be any infighting (so to speak) it is not unusually over matters considered in some way important. Most often disagreements arise from what is considered important amongst us to some particulars that “such and such” is of some paramount necessity and we dare not “move on” until such is agreed upon and established to all.

So some most assuredly say “do not go beyond what is written” (which is even itself, a thing written) for dangers of speculations and shipwreck of faith await (and that held not without some wisdom)…but, let’s face it, despite the very fundamental fact that some hold books others do not…(what “written” is the written referred to?) we have all the words (of a gazillion sermons), a multitude of commentaries and expansions upon, books being churned out by writers and publishers that are themselves, in so many ways and in so many words seeking to show or explain what the “words” mean. And, of course, these present words are also easily assigned that same place.

And it is what it is. To one “add nothing to the words of this book” or he who adds or seeks to take away will suffer certain consequence(s), and means a one thing. And to another…it means, quite another. For how many tomes have been written…explaining…what a particular “book” means? What is “adding”…what is a rendering of some insight and understanding? God knows. God knows.

And God help me if found provoking to speculations. Or a mere figuring out according to some mere working of man’s logic. But aha, (who escapes?) being a man? Yet what we have to deal with is what we have (or have been given) to deal with. Even in matters of such like “what does it really mean to add or take away?” Let alone…”but you have more (or less) books than I acknowledge”. One begins to appreciate that lest unity of the spirit be true as an established matter, and being made true to us…as already established…we are all as lost as geese. And only God knows how established…established is.

Is He sharing what He knows? If so, how? If through any…who? O! yes, when rubber meets road and matters once thought of casually now become matters for the prevention of our being casualty, suddenly it is of exquisite importance to know what, and who of that what that is held, presented such.

Paul said “I know whom I have believed…and am persuaded…”

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Is it only given Paul…to “know”? “I know whom I have believed”, even speaking (is this speculation?) of a whom of once he said/wrote “that I might know Him”.

And if one can receive it, that there is meaning in and to everything, meaning in words to be discovered, meaning in events to be discovered, meaning in all to be discovered then we may find some difference (as God alone can establish such) in the difference between speculations about…and consideration over matters. “Think on these things”. Selah.

And even so, that where they must be divided as distinct from one another…(speculation and consideration) God will show. For David prayed to God to be kept from presumptuous sins. (Do you believe the spirit moved him?)

Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.

Yes, it is the most interesting(?) fascinating(?) consuming(?) only(?) matter of matters given to man of the what and how…and perhaps (God help a man) even why of God’s working in and through Jesus the Christ. The all of what has been done, the how it has been done that is, in all, worthy of consideration.

If we believe him, Paul surrendered all he once had and once was to the knowing of Him who “loved me and gave Himself for me”. It is an intensely personal observation and knowing Paul expresses there. Is this speculation to see how easily it might have also been written “who loved us and gave Himself for us”? For Paul surely labored toward all inclusivity (if we believe him) in so much of the writing given to him, that all in Christ are equal heirs, without division nor partiality. Yes, something intensely personal Paul was not only “allowed” to say, but given…to say.

And to some extent (perhaps even far greater than a man yet knows) all the above that follows (pt 15) in title is owed in great part to considering? speculating(?) (God knows) of that matter Paul states and was addressed in prior section:

For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.

Are we allowed to consider what he says?

What was Paul speaking of in this particular context…and even of a something he had destroyed?

If, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found to be sinners, is Christ therefore the minister of sin? God forbid! For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.

Dare we deny what unsettling may come to us in the revelation of our own weakness? Our necessity(s)? All the need of correcting and disabusing of prior assumptions and presumptions that lead and/or have led to consequences found unsavory to us?

We may even find this as need be (and only God knows the very need of need be) that the more we boast of the power of Christ or of His loveliness, goodness, mercy and even His reality as such; that He is as these things are…not fable, not myth, not contrivance, but of all matters truest of substance and in all consistency of such, pure throughout; there may come a consequent revelation to us. That we, of ourselves, are none of these things.

We may see our own venality, spitefulness, all love of self that builds great monuments of self pity to the few things we have suffered or endured, and from there thunder down to others that they do not know as you or I know! We may even be shocked to discover where the man of sin sits. And how he sits, how he seems so certain in his seating as to be utterly enthroned and not subject to any dethroning.

And the despair and despairing that may ensue, that may even lead to the most caustic cynicism and deepest skepticism may have a taste to us with which we are not unfamiliar. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity!

It may not be (no, it surely isn’t!) a pleasant place of residence where our soul is raked and wracked upon every turn a man might make and all seems utter torment of every man’s doings. If a man speaks it is only lies, if a man is silent, it is only to cover the truth that he is a liar. And if, or when (God knows) this comes home to roost in us we may even come to rue the day and the Maker of days.

How close we may hew to the abyss, we do not know. And it is not (to us) as though we ever set out to come here, be here, or know here any of things now most seemingly plain to us. To us it never seems a place of advantage sought, nor really of any disadvantage sought…just real. And to us perhaps, despair becomes too real. We may even taste that deepest cynicism that comes of believing “I only sought after a good thing, and now look where I am!” “Even the best of pursuits ends in all misery!” Perhaps not even stopping short of “Who or what would do this…is doing this…to me?”

What (or who) is culprit in this? “Why” is this?

God forbid I try and fill in blanks beyond me. And no less, God help me if the above is blank to you, holding nothing of truth in experience or that I be found as one urging to it, or of its necessity of experience. But if you know of it, or something like it, know you are not alone. And God forbid I recommend myself as fit company.

But if you are able, hear what an apostle has written:

If, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found to be sinners, is Christ therefore the minister of sin? God forbid! For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.

One cannot overstress that “If”. This is all and only for that occasion of finding “If” if it be found. There is so much hope in the power of God to keep from that abyss in the apostle’s utterance of God forbid! God forbid we come to rest upon, settle into, find only place of any reality to us that “since this is all consequent to my seeking to be justified by Christ that has led me to know the utter despair that is in all falling short (sin)…that it is Christ Himself who has ministered such sin to me”.

I am in little doubt of how many voices could be raised to condemn such folly, but for the man who has either seen or been there in any measure, he knows too well that no multitude of voices (for all men there are made shown him as liars) can raise him from it. Only one can. Only one can rescue from any thing He forbids. The man here may learn he surely cannot, of himself.

O! yes, he may rummage through all sorts and manner of things “I am a christian, this cannot be” or “I have been through such and such in the Lord, or of such time in the Lord, or endured whatever for the Lord’s sake, this simply cannot be”…and all these things turn to ash in his mind and hand. They mean nothing here, hold no hope nor ability to raise or bring about ascension from this pit. His mirey-ness is too overwhelming, his proclivity for invention made too plain, his inclination to deliver himself by fabrications…also made too clear and plain and of no avail.

He sees some or all of his own cleverness and craftiness (ability to fashion, or invent) that has allowed him some standing among men, or some exercise of it to stop their cutting mouths. But this only adds now to his bonds, how a thing once so easily resorted to for escape or comfort is now a very thing condemning him. As are all and any other reliances that were to him of sometime advantage. They are revealed as such dung with which he has wrapped himself. And now hold only all condemning stink of pride. Who can rescue? Can any? Will…any…come into this place for him? Even if just to be with him to reduce this terror of isolation…let alone raise him from it? It would be so much more than enough…to just know he is not alone. But who could or would dare, or even care to come into such a place…for any?

So it is.

Who does not know, or has not known either of themselves or others of a one who has drawn back citing their hypocrisy if continuing? The words are not unusually of this sort “I found out that to me I was just believing in fables and untruth foisted upon me, and since not really believing, to continue would make me hypocrite”. Yes, it is framed in such manner that hypocrisy is being eschewed, the more noble way of truth and honesty being taken. And from there come the many justifications, reasonings, citings of discrepancies and so called errors or paradoxes of scripture and/or practice to a general conclusion of it as all too nonsensical to be of any sense, reason, and/or benefit to any and is therefore rejected.

But only God knows what any man believes.

Yet the apostle understood a thing about this journey. How easily false conclusions are reached, wrong equations set up. Where one may say it is “this thing” causing me to be hypocrite, God may preserve another through such in His mercy with encouragements. No, it is not the faith nor Christ Himself that brings about the hypocrisy or is minister of it…but rather that it is being shown as what it is and for what it is (even where it is!) …and even quite clearly, by Christ’s purging. And here it takes an intervention for any to stand, an intervening which, if not provided (even in and by such word as “God forbid!”) the man knows by this saying in form

Unless the LORD of hosts Had left to us a very small remnant, We would have become like Sodom, We would have been made like Gomorrah.

He too, would not have stood. The Lord’s strengthening so that something might remain is all and only working.

Had the Lord not preserved…had the Lord not prevented, had the Lord not given strength to all otherwise shown in collapse there, none could persevere. No, we are not in that way different than any other…but if so, then only so, and made only so, by the grace of God.

Where is boasting, then?

And whether any is beyond such recall…even in or by staunchest proclaimed resistance…only God knows. And will make known.

Yet Paul said he would not rebuild, or rather, if he did of what he once tore down…then surely he is transgressor and one found in it. And it could behoove us to investigate what of all (and how of all) Paul had torn down what was his to tear down, and even refrain from rebuilding.

What had Paul come to as bedrock and sole hope alone so that even if (as was even said in other place) that even if he himself be shown as unapproved he would not and could not deny?

Yes…Paul had very narrow vision…that opened to great vistas of visions and revelations, even made willing to count himself as lost “to it” if need be, that these matters of truth be not impugned.

How shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation, and Author of it?

Inseparable. Would we know what “being one” is?

God help us.

And God forbid dissuasion.

It looks like more “off the wall” matters present. How can this be that seeking settling can so often lead to only more questions, and some quite unsettling, at that? The same Lord (if we believe Peter spoke as directed by the spirit) that tells men of lawless hands, even in participating to the fulfilling of God’s plan, yes, this same Lord who knows all, sees all, and is in all responsible for all that is in creation would then say “I never knew you” to whomever it is said. Or to be said.

But Jesus…don’t you know everyone? Is this a matter of ignorance of which Jesus is speaking? Is it? Or, just as question once went forth “Adam, where are you?” might imply some ignorance of his (Adam’s) location by the God who fashioned him? But does it? Imply God’s ignorance?

God forbid! It simply cannot be. But if not that then, an expression of ignorance…what? We must consider! For far greater consequence comes if thinking of our God as incomplete in all knowing must come as a place too treacherous to tread. It is not even so much a fear of “going there” but that the manifest nonsense of it is simply too great. If in any way, shape, or form, it comes to us we are serving or in intercourse with an “who” who is incomplete in all knowing (as there are gods many and lords many), may we have the boldness to demand to speak to their Boss. Yes, the true God forbid we seek demi-gods! Or respond to them in, or of, their ignorance.

And even here we find a key. A key formed of some appearance of rebuke, or at least reproval, but God forbid we ignore it.

Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

We are appointed to no less than our Christ’s knowledge of God, experience of Him, understanding of Him…even though the devils themselves have some “information” (as wrong as it is!) about him, not least of which is that He is One. We have not begun to touch or be touched by depths if we draw back and seek to secure our standing upon no more than the devils do. God forbid.

It was said a few sections back that true relationship is established in some mutuality, some sharing in and of true life that is neither fantasy nor fabrication. This the devils do not, and cannot do. Even as the stalker who may be living out some hidden fantasy of a shared life till facing the object of his lusts could hear “Man, I don;t even know who you are, nor care to, what are you doing on my porch?”” and thus be reproved for his folly (which he may find too much to bear) by a reality suddenly thrust upon him. Yes, even so.

So when Jesus says “I never knew you” it is not an expression of ignorance. It may not even be an expression of malice, but mere statement of fact, of truth. “You are not one who is made open to me by the Father”. But nevertheless this also has implications for us if we declare some mutuality of both knowing the Lord and the Lord knowing us. We dare not seek to draw back from the knowing and sharing all of such weakness, frailty, and yes, even matters we might call sin as they are made known to us. Even as necessary, if still found in us. The Lord has withheld nothing of His own weakness from us even if to such time we may have been ignorant of them. We may have slept through his trial(s) in the garden, slept through the hearing of His loud cries and tears (at that time not to our awakening) But once these are made plain, once we are awakened to them, who will deny? Will we say “I don’t know of any of the weakness of the Christ, nor care to. I don’t know why He said (nor care to)

“Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour.

O! But God forbid we deny this victor’s cry “It is finished”. But also and God forbid we deny that road taken to it.

Even as Paul once said “I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling”.

Yes our love of strength and power is not something we are not unfamiliar with, the natural man has no problem with any affection toward them. But a sharing (mutuality) in relationship if only, “gee, but I really love your power”, really isn’t (nor can be) mutual at all for us, for what power do we have to share? It is all and only the grace of God manifest through Christ that He became weak for us, who are weakest of all God’s creation…and that by such grace even such mutuality might be made truly known to us, in us, and even…for us. Can this be understood? Is it?

O! but the weak link in creation is not the tree, nor the bird, nor the fish, nor the lion…all these run true to their presently assigned nature…even waiting (even as all creation groans) for a something made weakest of all to manifest alignment to its true nature as sons of God in the earth.

Yes, we like very much to share our strengths, in our own eyes and not unusually in the eyes of others, for they cause us to appear as a something. But this understanding of life, what and how it is, even to us and in us is now quite different. And if we are chosen to “know the Lord as He is” there can be no drawing back from our letting Him know us, as we are. Now of course this sounds ridiculous, for there can be no “keeping” the Lord from the knowledge of anything, even our own selves…yet…only to the measure we are made, even caused to know Him in His weakness, will we ever truly know anything of our own, and from that place both truly know and appreciate how great a salvation is this salvation made to us and in us.

Yes, the whole have no need of a physician.

And so (is it paradoxically?) this question might be asked? What will you have? A treasuring of your own wholeness or an unquenchable desire only fulfilled in the knowing of the Christ of God?

You might even be made exceedingly glad by a God who is relentless in all matters of truth, despite you (or our) own seeming preference of viewing one’s self. For if our joy is all and only in what appears to us of us…even wholeness as it may seem to us, He holds the greater gift, always. And He will to His own end unashamedly show His generosity of Spirit toward His own…even in all their own wrong choosing. Even if it be delighting in what they believe is their own…wholeness.

There’s something, and someone else to see that eclipses that in toto, as rising sun causes darkness to flee before it, showing all its weakness and inability to overcome it.

Or daunt it.

And all of creation groans in travail…do you? Groan inwardly? In some weakness?

Be not ashamed.

There’s an immutable working to all God is doing, has done, and will do; at least as far as we are concerned in such matters in our perceived restrictions to time. If this seems too bold to say, one need only consider the boldness with which our brother Peter spoke; as mentioned for consideration in last section. It is not only bold, and spoken in such boldness, but also, and no less, quite apparently paradoxical to the extreme. Of such paradox that it is understood by a mere observer, or a mere listener as opposed to hearer, as borderline crazy. That is where (in the natural man) appearances and seems, reign. To the natural mind (even in some concept of God or a god) to say a man can be lawless (or have lawless hands) when participating in the outworking of God’s will and perfectly planned purpose (for who can resist it?)…well, how can it but not sound, at very least a bit, “off the wall?”

Is any saying that “God can deliver a man out from time” even to such end that he may be made to see (even if only vaguely) such restrictions are only perceived restriction? That in and of itself seems quite a bit to apprehend, yet if we flip it so to speak, do we not already presume it so? And what if, in some most fundamental way one were to say, especially to or of believers that for them God is always about delivering out from presumption to knowledge and understanding…would that be too lofty?

As a beater of dead horses, even those of my own presentation, dare I be ashamed? Listen if you can or will. Who of us in this mix of what appears believer and unbeliever, does not already have some persuasion we can and do escape time…by looking back (so to speak) and believe we see how “things really were” (past time) or even formulating notions of how things will and must be (future time)?

You do not hammer without a full expectation that by some laws of mass and momentum force will be transferred to the nail head, thence down to point of nail to drive it into substance? We don’t call this a continual experiment, do we? Or that how, if setting a can of beans on the counter they will remain exactly where they are put. And even if to whatever measure their placement is forgotten and we look for them, we never assume (for we always presume otherwise of things we do) they could be on the garage shelf with our tools. We think we know what we do and did, (and likewise of others) and even what we will do and must happen according to some projections (and likewise of and for others).

And yes, some things we may call “iffy” in these projections to the back (past) and forth (future) “Can I make this thousand mile trip on that bald tire?” And if a vision coming to us of a 70 mph blowout on a crowded 4 lane overwhelms all other factors of our calculating in the now, we adjust for a future. Even for the preservation in many cases of our future (and having one) that either does not include a vision of neck braces and legs with external fixators, or even a vision of ourselves (ha ha, how do we do that?) in a casket.

Do you think these matters…too crazy? Too fundamentally known and understood to not be worthy of bearing mention? Enough to say “Of course that’s how man and men …work”! They calculate from past (of acquired knowledge, past experiences, some informing) and then project to a future with some expectation of it. But, I am not ashamed to beat a dead horse. And, as far as the natural man (may I use that term?) is concerned, and could say, I (with my own bag of knowledge, experiences, and whatever informing) ha ha! I too would presume such to be said…even (with some understanding) that to him it is said legitimately, that I am fool! I cannot but appear so! Yes, there are immutable workings.

But believers? Oh, there’s a quite different kettle, isn’t there? Is it too far fetched to say that by spirit we are informed to a difference? Where the natural man is bound to one view of all matters, we hold…more? What is the resurrection if not that place where all prior understandings about the finality of death…(and no less, what matters there be of life) are completely overturned? Even the disciples (who were told otherwise by Jesus Himself, that He would return) were in disbelief for joy when He appeared with them and to them. They, as many others, thought Him …”all gone”.

Yikes! Things are not at all as they seem, or even did seem. Suddenly a difference is thrust in our/theirs…”a” face, and in the now, that what happened (past) and the calculated presumptions then into a present significance and consequence (bar those doors, the Jews may still be looking for heads to roll)…are suddenly shown as a folly and completely wrong interpretation of events!

And though this surely framed to that particular matter of death (we come to understand there’s no better place chosen of God for start of Christ to overthrow) so it also extends to such as presumption, to inform or radiate with true light. How that all of a thing once only informed of, and by death, a natural man…fighting tooth and nail against an inevitability, suddenly makes way for the (or “a”) man who sees…the difference. Jesus the Christ of God. Jesus always knew (and knows) what and how the natural man thinks. He, being the spiritual man, knows all about the natural.

Even John the Baptist was made privy to such in his calling, being a preeminent prophet:

And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.

Take a look and see how many translations use the word…presume.

Oh, where they could and would naturally go to assume/presume their standing! Even, and no less, where I have gone. Yes, I see some difference to what I once mistook as real and valid…in the light of something (or someone?) other.

O! yes, how much we (I, especially) may think we have, or know, knew, learned,or even think we remember or have interpreted correctly! And how this all goes into our projections! “Have we not prophesied and done many mighty miracles in your name?” “Hey…doesn’t all that stuff add up to a better outcome than the one you are (presently) telling us is our lot?”

But who will have a word to utter once the Lord says…”depart from me”?

Even relating that way of putting could be my insertion of some presumption! I should tremble to consider what words could come (if any) in consequence to the Lord saying “depart from me, I never knew you”.

God help me.

Admittedly there are areas in the last section addressed, things with undercurrents, things moving as though only in shadow that require clarity, or necessity of being brought to the surface.

God help me, in how deep these matters run. For here we are not without some caution of danger in any thinking such are easily disclosed. Yes, once a matter is made clear it becomes simple to us. As even the most complex operation of a piece of equipment or machinery, if shown to its most minute workings, bit by bit, piece by piece can be understood. Even the most complex equation “works” only by the the operations of the simplest of laws of mathematics, addition and subtraction. (For multiplication and division and all else that would follow are but expansions of these basics. And to the extreme one might even say there’s only one operation…for subtraction is only negative addition.)

If I were to say Jesus descended into the heart of such workings (even allowing that machine to chew Him up, so to speak) might it be understood better? We would, in that case, or better, in this particular case, be speaking of the sufferings of Christ in such descent into such, that He even bring light to deep places to make them known and clear. Yes, once made clear (even the aforementioned proposition) it becomes simply seen, but God forbid we mistake any simplicity, or even simple, for easy.

For us, and to us, God has made all simple…a thing is either of life, or of death.All that might be seen as consequent workings (like mulitplication and division appear as different operations, or more advanced in mathematics, but are themselves only of same operating. What is multiplication but many additions? What is division but “how many times can a certain number be subtracted from this other certain one, with any remaining?”) and seeking to figure back to a single foundation. Yes, we can add symbols and sigmas and deltas, and note of exponents, parentheses and brackets, but ultimately all can be broken down to the only simple operations we have, additions and subtractions. Even so, all begins and ends in, or with our alpha and omega, Jesus the Christ.

A thing then of God is made simple to us, of being either of life, or of death. From these the more advanced seeming calculations of “good and evil”, right and wrong, good or bad; all must return for their standing. Yes, for us especially of all (if as believers we see) all always come down to Jesus as of life, all other things and matters, are of death. But lest one appear fey or coy pretending that simple and easy are always in equal exchange (even though all advanced mathematics rely ultimately upon addition and subtraction) things become less than easy in application, for “of life” is of God…yet, (and God forbid this be misunderstood) He also holds all key(s) and power of death. Jesus Himself declaring “I hold the keys of hell and death”.

O! but this now appears neither simple, nor easy!

I cannot pretend to not be as much in over my head than any other here. But nevertheless, here we are! Made by the faith of Christ in God (who is Himself of God) to bring us to and into reconciliation to that God (that we might even call Him, and know Him, as Father…even as Jesus the Christ himself knew and knows Him) to such end as knowing Him as our life. But we dare not settle to any place not ascribed as of Him, of places and things that are of all quite deep as revealed by the Spirit. “I kill and I make alive, I wound and I heal.” Even to such matter spoken of of God’s power to send strong delusion. And that he can, and will, and does! O! yes, God help me, (and all and any like me, here!) for here all calculations must break down.

The truth is, yes, simple as spoken “…All authority in heaven and earth are given to me…” but who of us dares now confuse simple, with easy? Or easily understood? Yes, we need the One who holds all and any key(s); to anything, of anything, and for anything and everything, to be understood. Yes, here my necessity is no less nor more than yours, yours no less nor more than mine, and even that admission (if we can make it) points to our common (as in shared) life. Even as Jesus recommended to our knowing, and promised to our knowing and understanding…a sharing in Him, that is of Him. Christ, our life. And for this, even our knowing, is the Holy Spirit given. And I believe I too, have the spirit of God.

Yes, undercurrents and mysteries only made clear by the Spirit given, and to those that are of Him. May we never deny the depths, no matter how much we may think has been “made clear to us”. It is not without reason an apostle wrote “And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: …”

“Without controversy…” unless, of course, one wants to, needs to, or is pressed so to a must to to contradict, and find out what awaits there. We hold no dominion over any man’s faith. Yet all and any we might have, if having anything, have come through the work of another, and we are told to hold to that to which we have attained in any receiving of it.

Therefore our brother Peter, in his having received, was given to even speak (on such a day He was marvelously overcome by the Spirit) a deep deep mystery. Before a mystery can even be explored, or looked into, it must be seen and understood as a mystery. No one looks (Ha! even when perhaps they should, or might) at dust collecting (such a common occurrence) and marvels. Maybe it takes and in itself is a great mystery, to even help us understand how great mystery is!

But no, Moses did not continue on his way (O! just another burning bush being unconsumed…) but turned aside to see (even to seek to understand) “what was going on”.

And what is mystery to some, or one, may not appear as anything noteworthy to another. (Who makes thee to differ from another…? might be a good question to seek answer to) But do you see it (a mystery) here? As Peter spoke to those Jews in Jerusalem of Jesus the Christ:

Him, being delivered by the determined purpose and foreknowledge of God, you have taken by lawless hands, have crucified, and put to death;

Why is this man going on so? (Better, perhaps, “Why do I?”) Why a call for repentance if in one sentence a thing determined by God was carried out…even by an “us” to whom this man Peter speaks as the ones performing…when all we did was according to the carrying out of God’s will? And now even saying our, or some hands were “lawless”?

How can hands be lawless that participate in the fulfilling of God’s will? And therefore, who could say they are?

No, I cant make anyone see it, nor from there, make anyone consider it.

But if you have, you have.

It might even, if looked into, hold a very great key.

But for that we must ask the Keyholder. And perhaps ask and keep asking, seek and keep seeking, knock, and keep knocking.

It would be remiss, especially at this point, to allow any confusion as to the entitling of this short treatise on chewing, and that through psyches. I really don’t know whether there is either a greater, nor truly, any other activity to which man has been assigned.

Taste and see that the Lord is good.

O! But this may sound too coarse, too crass. No doubt it must. The eating of the Lord, even spoken by the Lord as a necessity to those that followed and some that heard, was a bit too much for them also.

But let’s face it, this is what we do. We react to signaling. We gobble it up.

Yes, we do. We hear a thing and seek its source. What has made that sound? What is, or where is, that noise coming from? What does it mean? Of what nature is it? Hunters do it all the time. Squirrels just ruffling through leaves for acorns? Or the measured and deliberate pace of a buck cautiously treading? Is it heavy? Soft? Moving swiftly?

So do mechanics. The sound of a valve ticking holds a far different signal, and signal of consequence than a rod knocking. But the ear must be trained, for the uninformed will simply say, perhaps to one they trust of some knowledge, “My engine is making a noise…should I be concerned?”

And of course this is no less with matters of sight, or any sense. And no less, in matters of relationship…in matter of coming to know another person.

But apply it anywhere, and to anyone or all as far as senses and sensibilities both inform and allow. From termite exterminators on the job, to particle physicists. From mother’s in kitchens hearing a baby’s cry with a discerning, to astronomers seeing a faint pulsing once not seen. We are signal receivers, seekers…and made by some experience, discerners and judges. And it is far more than how we do jobs, it is how we are. And being who we are…is our job.

We “take in”, to whatever measure we do, process according to knowledge and experience and there assign and judge as to significance. “If she turns around when she hits that door, there will be a second date!”

But lest it become frivolous. Of course we do this with one another, with words received as signals, deeds as signals, judging whether the words line up with tones in which they are delivered, body/facial language, conduct, etc. Of course it is plain, and is to us. So much so that when delivering words to a son in the faith a man would say to consider his way of life and conduct for your testing of whether the things I speak to you are from the heart and shown true.

If there is relationship in any relationship, this exchange takes place. And the deeper the relationship or depth of it, which really is defined to the measure that there has been a mutual “taking in”, the plainer signals may become. An attentive husband knows the difference between “I’m fine” and another, but different “I’m fine”. And no less, should this appear only as reference to a husband, a wife knows when something is troubling to her spouse. Or, when he is bright, buoyant, and content.

Whether either cares about what they know of the other, no less, indicates true level of relationship. And who has not had the experience of another “shutting down”? For when we (by our interpretation of signal) sense another cares not for who we are, we do likewise. We may indeed give back a “something”, but it will not be of any of our vulnerability or what might be understood as that which constitutes our weaker, and deeper self. We hold back a part of portion

But yes, we also might give back. It might be sarcasm, cleverness, even cold harsh words or demeanor…and to extreme the muzzle of a gun. Consider the stalker who has manufactured what he believes is a relationship, but is all and only in fantasy…confronted with the harsh reality of one (that he or she has some desire toward) who neither knows him (or her) nor cares to. And what has, not infrequently, resulted. If the thing sought for a pleasure turns rather to a stark and unacceptable tormenting reality…remove that reality.

Mutuality and relation(ship) cannot but go hand in hand; as both indication of relationship and its depth. And another thing we might as well face, were we to think all our judgments are so well and acutely tuned that this might only happen…to another…of the man who comes home early from work, or the woman who finds a strange pair of panties in the back seat of his car. Someone was either not telling the truth about who they are to an “other”, or that other was either completely deceived and unable to discern. Either way, a deceiver and/or being in the estate of being able to be deceived are equally necessary for working, and of mischief. It matters not, in one sense, whether one eliminates the deceiver or enlightens the one capable of being deceived, “it” no longer works or has any working, in that case.

This has some significance for us. Especially if convinced of any relation(ship) to, and in, the Lord Jesus Christ. O! but what we have entered in finding entrance made in Him!

Are we able to hear this?

And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.

This is speaking of Jesus’ knowing: “for he knew what was in man.”

Or this:

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

Do you not think that in this also knowing…of man, his ways, his contents of heart and its spewings through mouth, how that we all either have, or yet to some extent still do, judge by outward appearance? Yes, Jesus touches deep things of man, things man prefer hidden, or obscured by words and outward showing of pieties and cleanliness, lest the darkness and filth be exposed as where it is, and for what it is. But it’s too late for us, Jesus has chewed through, even in His being as a man, to know and see all that is there.

But, thanks be to God! He tells us the physician comes not for the well, but for the sick. O! but this is a wonder of grace and mercy! For who, knowing of such “hearts”…would themselves be a sacrifice for them? This wonder is all and only that can keep us from darkest cynicism’s overwhelming, this truth, this kindness, is all and only what can save us from being lost to and in that abyss…when we see it, for it would surely suck us in, no less. Even showing we are already…sucked in…decrepit, shameful…and without hope.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Yes, do not let this wonder ever escape us, that only One who has or had ever known the heart of man (who can know it?) is also the only one who saves from its hopeless depths. And yes, it is in all unreasonable to any man’s reason, for the more one knows and sees, the more one is convinced of its rightful judgment and condemnation. Even that that would be only “right” end of such…and without any hope given. “Save that thing in possession of such a heart! Really?”…”Unbelieveable!” But, we are also saved from utter cynicism. It is not merely it would take a miracle to do, it would take something completely not understood…to even care to.

Yet, here’s the thing…we are given Jesus to eat, to take in, to chew upon, to digest, to (God help me) even judge as to whether any fault is found in Him…that we may know who He is, and by and through this, know His God and Father…as even our God…and Father. And something happens in eating…of things taken in as food…that are absorbed to become the us we are.

Listen if you can. Listen if you will, and made able by a will not your own. Consider this working:

Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.

when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin,

It should be first clear that the soul being offered, or only soul to offer, is not one’s own. It is a “his” soul of the one being spoken of, a “his soul” given to another as, and for, an offering for sin. O! but this in itself is too marvelous and unspeakably deep! Who can do such, who would do such? Who is able, or has such authority as to make way for, and also tell a man…”you not only have some right to it granted, but you must take what is another’s as your offering (and not one’s own) to be reconciled…and this to the God of all gods, the Creator and Maker of all things…to have or know peace with Him.”

Can you let this wonder work in you? Will…you? There is no other way…it has been settled already and forever. Who gives such right…and how right…is it?

Well, to and for us, a man can do with his own as he pleases. He can keep or give. Share or withhold, horde or distribute, he is under nothing but is own disposition and right to do with his own, as he so cares or is pleased to do. I speak as a man. When another seeks to take from a man what is that man’s apart from assent it is unlawful, criminal, thievery. Of assent he must be sure lest he brought to the courts, he may say (but will not get by saying) “it was on his porch, looking unused as though he didn’t want it; so, I assumed it was for the taking…that’s all” Without some prior contract or affirming “all on my porch is free for taking”…the thief is headed for, and in, judgment.

Of course the above is only example, and poor at that. What we speak of and are given to dealing with and handling in for understanding, are far, far deeper than the mere legalities of things as such legalities might be understood. Especially those of man.

Can you understand this? And then, can you understand this:

To all the world, and those of it and in it, (O! but consider! For the love of Christ, consider) Jesus Christ is a man with no concern for His own life.

He played (or rather lived) especially, or even in His time in the world in being found in fashion as a man, by care for none of the rules that govern all others. He lived by, and in, and because of the Spirit of life…that He is. (Religious growlers, go away, I hear you, come back when you are summoned). No (and for the love of Christ, understand) He was under no compulsion then to break any rule, nor did He go about with intent to do so (in truth the only man who ever keeps the law) not seeking to be offense, in truth, because He already knew and knows what an offense He is. He knew He was that particular stone of stumbling. No need to exaggerate it. It is enough He be whom He is.

He cared not for His own life at all. When authorities were pressed to bring Him under their control, to eke or squeeze out from Him some acquiescence to their authority (which would show He had care to his own life, even as they suffered such necessity to make display of caring…even for remaining) He didn’t care. No show of “I’d better submit to show I want or need to remain in their (even the) world.”

Ahh…Caesar! We’ll send Him to Caesar! Who has more power to bring to bear for breaking…than Caesar? (All the while making big show of their confession of “their” god…as God)

Before Caesar, the same. He didn’t rebel. He didn’t say “you’d better not put me to death, you have no right”, nor “no, I am not going to carry that torture stake, I know your intents when I ascend that hill…why would I comply…what are you going to do anyway if I refuse to carry it?…kill me?”

Ha ha ha. He already knew…even long before they did!

When Jesus spoke of those going about to kill Him well before He was handed over to Caesar, what was the reply?

“Now we know you have a demon, no one is going about to kill you!” Ha ha ha.

O! But we are too plain before the Lord’s sight! Laugh or cry.

Now listen, no doubt some of those same still think “no, we didn’t go about to kill you, you brought this on yourself, that’s all”. “There are rules to follow to show you care and can show you “can be” (even) in the (or our) world…and you follow…none!” Before Caesar, the same. “Don’t you know I have power to kill you or let you go?” (C’mon man…show me a little submission to the game here, my wife already had a bad dream about all of this…) Ha!

What worse thing to say to what thinks it holds all the authority…than to remind it that authority, as it truly is (as you claim it truly is in even having it over me) is all and only granted by the all Authority (if one truly believes authority, of which one may even boast, exists). No He didn’t have to press it, He didn’t have to say, “So tell me, did you make yourself a Caesar? And “Of Caesar”…or were you appointed? Go ahead, tell the Caesar that made you a Procurator...you’ll stand on your own”.

I believe Jesus knew Pilate “got it”. Even if he couldn’t bring himself to fall before such truth…for even he still feared the jews carrying some accusation he was no friend of Caesar if Pilate let Him go. But Jesus was always finding more faith among the heathen. The outsiders, like a Centurion or a Syrophoenician woman who said “even the dogs get the crumbs that fall”, or that Samaritan who showed mercy, or the woman at the well.

In this case Pilate, unable to refute the truth except by question “what is truth?” and got rather clever than submit as the Centurion had, to recognition and confession of how authority operates, and is, and how He saw it by faith, as Jesus operating/working…living, speaking, acting as one under it…(Hey! have you? often found faith where you didn’t suspect…or expect it to be?)

But anyway, Jesus didn’t put out any of the “acceptable” signals we all know, for showing we treasure our lives, or are worthy of “being allowed” by the world…to remain in the world. So hey, yeah, since He’s just leaving it all on the porch and it looks like He doesn’t care about or for it, let’s just take it. So it was. Even according to God’s plan and purpose.

Yes, all the scriptures, all the matters of authority and submission…all are there…and all are lawful. And absolutely so. Yep, Caesar has authority. Pharisees had some authority “do as they say for they sit in Moses seat…but don’t be “like them”…for a lawful thing can be exercised…unlawfully. And don’t care, nor have any at all, God will show.

There is nothing hidden except to be revealed.

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

Utter weakness. Total necessity. In need of all the help there is. Tribulations abounding. Rebukes and chastenings, corrections seemingly unending. And on top of it all (but who knows bottom from top?) one of our stellar (again, who knows bottom from top?) comrades in arms comes toward the end of his pursuits and declares himself (and any who can receive it, likewise?) “chiefest of sinners”. Not used to be, not was, but for those with eye to precision in every other circumstance, those who (not wrongly) oft resort to the Greek for such precision, even of tenses, “of whom I am chief”.

Yikes! Who signs up…for this? Who could, or would set out to know such…even of themselves?
Isn’t there a way…different than this? Another option? “Can I see another menu, please?” Or, “What other courses does your school offer?” could come to mind.

Would you find laughter here…cruel? Perhaps so, but only if one does not recognize their own self. Wasn’t this all to get us to feel better…about ourselves? (How much laughter can one endure?)

Hey! Is laughter also included in these all things:

For all things are yours; Whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are yours; And ye are Christ’s; and Christ is God’s. (?)

Oh yes! If there’s laughter (what sort of feast would refuse it?) we can only know it is of the “good” kind. Do you find any prohibition against starting to practice? Do you imagine the same man that declared himself a “chief”, and who also spoke of his experience(s) of being beside himself for the Lord’s sake (as one sort of “out of his mind” for Christ) suffered this in all somber tones?

But, God forbid I deny a need for sobriety, and not eschew cruelty. Or worse, provoke to some laughing contest…remembering that comparisons and competitions over others (and not our own self) are left to the world’s pursuit.

Yet what is such joy described that a self just can’t believe based upon all prior understanding (but dead…means dead!), when seeing the Lord alive…and provoked to disbelief for joy? Such astounding? (Hey!…but we thought…I mean we saw…I mean some of us even saw the spear…!!!)

Yet, didn’t He tell them? What has to make way…for His word? What cannot but…make way for His word? Yes, even death. Specifically death. And darkness.

Too much? May it always and always be so, and not so. May the goodness that is too much, the kindness that is too much, the joy that is too much, the very life that is too much…never submit to our poor plea of “this is just too much”. And there relent. Yes, we need God to even need God. And we need God to have God. And we need God to make way in us, for God.

Is His way made in us?

Too much?

Too simple?

I am not unaware of how often I am given to mention this matter of our signing up vs. God’s conscription of us. Regardless of whether one has come to see God’s choosing always exceeds what a man knows of his own, and his own ability to do so as a created being, and how that knowledge either informs choice or this is not yet understood, I hope to not be dogmatic. Nevertheless we see, as in the first disciples example there was a continuance for a time until told “you have not chosen me, but I have chosen you…”

Till then it matters not what or how they thought of this relationship to the one they followed, nor to us even of how they themselves may have even thought of it, but once that word comes (as it surely came to them) their matter of choice in that becomes moot. Yes, one could (I suppose) say “But what if they chose not to believe that?” But I hope you see the issue there. It is as “too late” for them as it is for you and I, even as those who receive their testimony of Jesus the Christ as always speaking truth, as He Himself is the truth. And being true, in all, to His word. He cannot be separated from what He Says, does, and is. He is of God.

And here would be another question, to, or of whom are these scriptures in owing for their deliverance to us? If all recorded (if one believes, even for us) is owing only to the choice of men to what they would put down in writing for recording and not of inspiration and guidance as to what and only is to be and was to be written, in what have we placed (if we have) any trust? That men are faithful guides? Or God alone through Christ, by whom, through whom, and in whose name the Spirit we confess, is given? Even that Spirit we confess as makes the scripture as real to us, for they have come from Him who is real, and faithful. No, we do not seek after nor follow myths.

These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

Yes, there is reason of God’s choosing that even those words were remembered (or better, brought to memory by that Spirit) and recorded, along with the several others “you have not chosen me, but I have chosen you”. May you find as much comfort in them as in any or all the others that to you, have been made life. For they are, and no less.

Dreams, visions, and revelations. Words and pictures, pictures and words…except that to us they are and become not mere copies of things as a photo might. They are views and informing of the reality of matters. And they are promised us no less than the knowing of the sufferings and life of our Lord, God’s Christ. Even they (such knowing) must come in same manner. The light must go “on” to see, and it is far from unusual such light does indeed go on when we find ourselves in matters or circumstance of extremity.

For some it has been reconciled to them that their “being in the world” while not of it, has informed them of their necessity of all help, all comfort, all light, for there is none to be found in it (the wold). Yes, it is a place of extremity, of extreme darkness. They are to the world strangers, even as the world has become strange to them, a foreign place, and surely not their home. Of such do we read, even their writings, while yet knowing they are of purpose sent into it by their Master as those sent into it, even as He. And such purposing that is of all goodness, all knowing-ness, all mercy and kindness is that even such benefit might abound. The knowledge of God through His Christ. It is to abound in us, even as its abounding in one is of all mutual benefit…to all who are of Him.

And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

When we begin to see, not merely the futility and vanity of refusing to know the sufferings of our Christ, we are also exempting ourselves from the honor bestowed upon Him, even the glory of which He speaks as being given…to “them”…to us, made a gift through such suffering.

And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:

God help me. For I am weak.

Surgeon’s training was mentioned. See one, do one, teach one. With necessity of sight being first that the consequence of doing and teaching be also upon the foundation of seeing first an expert in his doing. A teacher, whom, if he is shoddy, and not expert, will pass on poor practice.

Who then is the Christ of God? Perfect expert? Or other?

Does He bear worthiness of total attention to all He teaches, and does? Does he suffer questioning, or is He strident? Is He mute to pleas for explanation and light of understanding, or does He answer all asking, seeking, knocking?

Does He not “do” as He teaches?

Seeing, first, always; and always, first.

There was some light cast upon all the “How To’s” we may seek, and are seemingly in demand by us to get to some place of finding a “better working” for us. These are not eschewed for their intent, but only if seen as some addition necessary, some further thing needed of men to be given by men to one another that is made just too obscure in Christ. But, is it?

Yet Jesus the Christ as given us such a wonderful and inexhaustibly kind instruction in His “how to” in the giving what He even called a new commandment. And yes, seeing is paramount here, as it always is.

Love one another even as I have loved you.

Can we? Look? Can we see? Is it too hard? Too “much”?

Who is ashamed to see the “how much” of the Lord’s consistent love has been shed abroad to them, or find displeasure in being told to look and see there…so that they, in seeing the just how much (how deep is it?) they have been loved by the Lord who has called them, they can and will and must…love in like manner? Who is disappointed to see that how much?

Paul wasn’t. “Who loved me, and gave Himself for me…”

What better hunt is there? To be directed to, even commanded to…explore for knowing? To know the love of Christ, for you?

See first, and that no shoddy workmanship is there presented. Even stay there and all that might be consequent of doing/teaching…will be shown as also and perfectly being accomplished, by the only one who gives light to the blind.

Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on, blessed indeed says the Spirit, for they have ceased from their labors and their deeds follow with them.

How could one not tell of what He sees of the Lord’s doing(s)? That would be hard work indeed, miserable work in truth…thankless and joyless a job could never be more assigned. Resistance and friction, friction and resistance…yet…even such heat found there works to its end. Yes, even friction is caused to work perfectly in the hand of the Master.

“For we can nothing against the truth, only for it” has been written.

Are you oily? Is any?

Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

Is His honor…enough for all our rejoicing?

Is there enough…there?

Too much?