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It is a hard, if not impossible thing for any man to deconstruct to his own logic the ways of God. Hard in that it is the “hard way to go”, the very frustrating way to go, the way he goes till he touches all that is impossible to himself.

And even this, in saying, must seem unpleasant to the man who is yet caught up in his own logic and reasonings. For to him, as yet, the impossible seems the more unpleasant to receive and acknowledge.

And till then he must ask, will ask, will resist the notion in all, that the impossible to him could possibly hold any comfort or assurance. For to the hard thing he may feel challenged and summon all his reasonable strength, try harder, somehow convinced that by enuff application he may still have “chance” at winning, at gaining…perhaps even conquering. Do we think God does not know what is in man, and “how” he operates?

No man has ever won checkers or tic-tac-toe against God, much less (for allegory) chess. One cannot even begin to “see the board” unless given sight.

And we would be remiss to say (or think) “come let us reason together” is some past event, done and over “once I come to Christ”, for it is only to the believer, for the believer, in the believer (in Christ) that such is even first believed possible. No man can (or would or could) “do it” apart from first being gifted with the reality of God’s being, that mercy is real and amenable to and for “reasoning” with God, and that such end is not fruitless.

Already the wiser may see what appears paradox. “If all is impossible how or why even enter into such?” Yes, it seems so. But here is where such a thing as this is (for the man’s benefit) tested…exposed, made clear, even to be established to himself…even if entering with what may appear only the slightest of all persuasions “Jesus Christ is not fruitless”.

What a man can do…is able to do, actually is always “in doing” (as God knows) is in presentation of his own reason. Unbeliever and believer are alike in this…even if the believer readily acknowledges some informing of the extreme limits of his own (the unbeliever will think his own “exquisite”, precisely and only because…it is “his own”)

But once we have had our previous table overturned by Christ, we enter (even if it merely seem as only inkling at times) “nothing is as it first seems”. And God always knows what any and every man “knows” or thinks he does.

Therefore the believer enters, not with “I have some chance at my winning here in reasoning with God” (for if he does…this will be addressed) but simply “I lay out all my own understanding(s) to as much limit as I find able, (which every man does anyway) but with the hope that no man but the man in Christ has, that God will answer with what the man “does not know”.

Do you see how simple the impossible is, now? Even comforting? It is “impossible” for the man to NOT have his own understanding(s) (as every single man born has) and as likewise impossible for him to NOT be, who he is! He’s already bound in the impossible! Will he struggle there, endlessly, or find a rest promised? God knows.

This is why a believer told others, even continues to tell others, “cast not away your confidence…” in the face of all impossibility to yourself when encountered. You are already in it, and have been, with all regarding yourself and what one knows of one’s self. For that confidence can even “stretch” (as the apostle’s learned) to the most of all impossible for the man…(as who only knows himself) “before I was to myself, I am known”.

Therefore only the believer can say with any confidence, as even said by another (and not reserved to some “guru” like attainment)

But by the grace of God, I am what I am.

How could I have “been” before I even knew myself as myself? Yet, so it is…and there is the greatest of comforts found when and if that “impossible to me” (or man) is fully embraced. What or where “was I”…before I was? O! but I know this seems impossible to say, speak, or even consider…but all are ever before the “I am”. (Not as prior to, but before as in position before…the Maker of all things)

Jesus told some…”And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?

The living are “before God” always, for He is not the God of the dead. And only the man in Christ (as even Jesus the Christ Himself knew and spoke) knows himself…alive. Not merely now…”in time”…but before it was, and certainly before the man “was” to even himself. In the beginning…God. (And no less “in” whatever any man may imagine as “end”) Alpha and Omega.

How blessed is the man to have found, even if it be only (at the first) one “applecart” overturned “I am not as I appear to myself, for I am not right, but a sinner in desperate need”…to follow this Lord who first (in great mercy) showed this!

How much more…do I “not know”? Why…I now see…it is impossible for me to know! Ahhh how the impossible for us becomes a great comfort! It is impossible for me to know “what I do not know”…all I can do is “dump” before God all I think I do know (as every man does anyway…always dumping what he thinks he knows). But the believer has this irrefutably inside “I am always before God when I do”. (Some laughed at Donald Rumsfeld’s once exposition of certain matters, but there was a “knowing” there being made clear of the “unknown unknowns”…for we don’t know of what we do not know)

This was started in some hope of addressing a thing of all seeming impossibility. But it has strayed…for “I did not know”. How that God, as beyond watchmaker has to each fashioned a “life”…or even (if you will) “a reality” to each and every man of such gears interacting, in relationship interlocking from first man Adam to all others who have ever been with such precision and relatedness that none can escape of themselves. A precision beyond grasp in both magnitude and effects, all simultaneous and perfectly designed impacts and effects. So that each has “their” reality…what they believe they know…even as independent to themselves…or “their own”.

Would any say no? Might some say “I am not affected by anything other…especially “my” knowing…my knowing is pristine, pure, uninfluenced…and ‘exquisite’. I am the clearest and cleanest of slates ever written upon by only pure intellect, experience, and reason”

Or, even if taken to some place of concession…”OK, I’ll admit hunger or wounds (like having one’s leg traumatically amputated in a motorcycle accident) does ‘somewhat’ affect my thinking (or winning the lottery), but as for other men, and especially the dead…they affect me not at all”. I am what is full only of self generated, independent, and immune in all, to other’s reason.” Even what might be called “their reason” for being.

I am…sound. (Which has its own interesting applications if considered)

Says the man denying the effects Aristotle, Jefferson, the Caesars, or “The Jeffersons” TV show, or Bob his neighbor down the road (who always leaves his trash cans out “too long” after pick up) upon himself…much less Jack the farrier who lived and died obscurely (at least to himself) in 1604. Every ripple by every stone ever cast into the earth…or rising up from it…a man is in “owing to” and obligation to, and “interlocked” till released. Even that first rat (and microbe) carrying plague. And even all the “unknown” plagues that never were.

Of course you could tell such a one (and would or might) Jesus is the unlocking from Adam and each and every motion as ordained in hope by another. To perfect frustration. Freedom has only one meaning in the Lord’s mouth. Total. Free indeed…is not short of that.

But do not be surprised (nor shocked) if told you are presenting the impossible. Or mocked for it.

The believer must laugh if he senses allowance. Not only at the imagined estate (as no doubt once he even held, recognizing a man he once knew) but also in great joy for what he now knows is made His through Christ…”Come, let us reason together”. A God not only approachable…but waiting.

The thing is that even in such laughter (if it be allowed) if he remains in his earth, as in his tent (longing to be clothed) he cannot but likewise concede to all his “unknown unknowns”. What is known “may be” actually known by the man, but what he does not know he does not even know is also, and no less; and if he does not concede to “it” he must also then consider his knowing exquisite.

But, (and and) God has a way. To make Himself known…as knower. Of what man does not.

Someone said it this way:

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

It is not necessarily an evil thing of itself to say “I know the knower” if able to likewise embrace:

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counseller?

It does appear…impossible. To embrace all a man does not know…he does even know he does not know.

But for one single man…who…despite his “seeming” being as well known remains in a great obscurity in, (and the how of His ability do this)…it is not done.

One man wrote:

But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.

Every man (and all creation) is absolutely pinioned by the word of God. Only one man came to free what resists it in all rebellion and all display of denial. To even reveal joy and such liberty as is made freely given in submission and surrender.

Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?

Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.

Sue for terms of peace. They are surely surprising…always.

Come, let us reason together.
Says the one it is impossible to conquer, or escape.

Returning then to this matter of attitude regarding the scripture(s), compounded into what we call the Bible, their benefit(s) to us and precious nature, what do we do when we find in particular something written there, or at least in particular part that we call an epistle…something that says “this is not the Lord”, but a man’s expressed opinion?

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

“speak I, not the Lord”. (which a few lines before Paul speaks of matters by instruction as “from the Lord”, and not of himself.)

I am not, (again) looking to, or for, contradiction except as might be toward some particular stance or attitude that may neither serve us, nor the faith of the son of God, well.

To blithely say “I believe the Bible as it is, all of God’s word(s), without exception or need of interpretation (have you ever heard that?) and (in some sense)…even a particular sense…”see it as written in stone.” Unchangeable, unopen to query or question…even so that in many forms it is considered a sort of heresy to even consider…question. And if we likewise “own” that epistle as part and parcel of it, you may see something in need of understanding or resolution. Lest we be quite ignorant of “owning” all we say we own to such a full throated endorsement. No, I am not saying anything shows contradiction or is in need of resolution due to deficit…except perhaps our own attitude/relationship with, and to, the scripture(s).

You see the issue. It is plain. In the Bible is plainly spoken by a man in, and of, a particular place…”this ain’t God/the Lord…speaking…just me”. No, to me it’s not a big deal in the sense of it being a contradiction to anything but an attitude that appears facile, if not superstitious, in the handling of the scriptures. And though I do not agree with another opinion once shared, nevertheless it is plain by it that this matter of “what is” to be a true attitude about this thing we call the Bible was set quite a bit more to some doubt by one appraising, and is reported to have said of James letter, calling it “an epistle of straw”.

If I have anything to say here it is surely not in matter of doctrine till it be raised as such, and to such, but attitude and expression of faith. And no doubt…some have felt free to raise it to matter of doctrine, even dogma in many statements (so called) of faith by denominations, particular churches or gatherings, etc. And God knows how such a thing as might be called “having faith in the Bible” is so easily (and often, I am persuaded) equated to having faith in Christ, or that particular faith called (yes, even in the scriptures) “the faith of the Son of God”.

I am not so naive as to imagine this is of some subtlety, for if believing the scriptures (as inclusive of an entirety that is from Genesis to Revelation) one must confront the Christ of God, Jesus, and find no place as claim might be made that such is damaging to the faith. God forbid. Again, God forbid.

Yet there remains that very particular matter spoken by Jesus of those who had some assumptions (even presumptions) in regards to the scripture(s). It bears repeating, as none of Jesus’ words ever do not bear repeating:

Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.

It should at least be plain it is possible (at very least) to have some mistaken notion about the scriptures, particularly in regard to that eternal life only Christ provides. No claim of “but I believe all the Bible” or any such, or even holding such out as a matter of faith (as being equated to the faith) can possibly avail. If the (or any fellowship) is predicated upon, even as by a restriction to an assent of anything “about the Bible” as in “before one is acceptable” he must have this prescribed attitude in regards to the scriptures, for this is “our” statement of faith…little do such understand the vanity of it. No oaths taken to it, nor upon it, nor by it, mean anything. But then again, no such, of even the Lord, mean anything.

(As in “I swear to God I am not a liar!”)

The church is all who are born of the spirit of God through Jesus Christ’s ministry of life to those whom He wills, and there is nothing except that spirit that both testifies to, and provides entrance. No matter how sublime anything other may seem or be esteemed as salubrious, may even seem of some necessity as assurance to any or other, to either add, or demand for qualification, and no less, to acquiesce to such either shows childish naivete to matters of the spirit, a deceitful spirit, or just simple ignorance. Only spirit is spirit, and only spirit is given…to recognize spirit. The unfortunate matter in all of this is that it is not unusually those who either call themselves, or are recognized as leaders, so often endorse and practice such measures.

There is a statement of faith, in truth the only one that is given to man of God that suffices to all matters spiritual and of spirit. It can neither be added to, nor detracted from. And every man entering is learning he is being tested for the reality of that first testimony made…not to the end that he be disqualified, but that it might be proved in his very sight (and to the Lord’s delight) that it come forth as purest and most valuable estate when holding to that very first of testimony.

No man can commend himself by any display of any discipline of his own making. Nor can he hold any other to it. God knows whether he is faithful to any discipline he has received to himself and rejoicing in the liberty there provided. Be assured, if it is not of God, he will only be ever seeking to shuck such off and on to others as burden first experienced in and of himself.

And not in smallest part this is why I have no issue at all with Paul’s inclusion in his letter of his own opinion, even stating it so. His hope only that, as if found as one faithful (do any believe he is/was?) others might, if able to glimpse what came not as by command but by recommendation to something he had found not only expedient, but a relief, they might know the joy he knew.

But then again, one might find how very often he was about that…being a helper of joy, seeking to take nothing to himself nor for himself, and not even lording over by position or calling even as, and as though, he might, or could.

It is, as some already know (as I do perhaps too well) quite a tempting place to occupy as one “laying down the law”. Surely that does not exclude such esteems by others as toward a one who “brings the word of God” to any or any congregation.

One writer was quite convinced of this estate:

And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. 

That word of necessity is in all belonging.

But, something often happens quite unanticipated when the name of Jesus is either used or appended to anything. It is then up for heaven’s judgment as to all motive and intent(s) to either purify or judge unfit.

And fire will be experienced by all.

And now…this testimony is “up for judgment”.

Lord, be pleased to show mercy.

Two posts ago there was mention of certain things in the writings, that is in the scriptures, that were mentioned. There was no claim there that these two, at least, presented any contradiction. At least not as contradiction of the writings themselves, but not without some note of their being in contradiction to certain attitudes about the writings, particularly as often expressed.

And God knows I am not seeking to undermine anyone’s faith, nor cast even the slightest doubt as has been encountered by the many who (often identifying themselves as atheists) care to bring up multiple places where they see, or say, the Bible contradicts itself and is therefore worthless. Here I am only addressing fairly common attitudes and predispositions that may be shown as less than fruitful. At least as far as I am persuaded, God knows.

In this matter, this saying of Jesus is of utmost saliency:

Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

And surely not without mention of this also:

‘Ye search the Writings, because ye think in them to have life age-during, and these are they that are testifying concerning me; and ye do not will to come unto me, that ye may have life; (Young’s Literal Translation for clarity)

In the first quote of above there is no translation that shows “the” for your in “Is it not written in your law…” (Italics mine)

What Jesus could have said is always moot, for He says what He says. And it is not without note that in that particular exchange some were contending with Jesus over the matter of blasphemy, and that such blasphemy by Him was both indictable and provable by their reliance upon the law and scripture(s). They believed that they were right in saying

For a good work we stone thee not; but for blasphemy; and because that thou, being a man, makest thyself God. (For they all believed they were properly schooled of the scriptures in regards to this, and probably not exclusive of this:

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: (And I am not here seeking to make anything relative to Christ’s divinity nor deity, as germane as that might seem) No, simply His referencing of another scripture…which he then ascribes as in “your law“. Do I doubt Jesus’ relationship to that scripture as though He were distancing Himself from it by saying “your law” instead of “the law”? Not at all.

And as surely as Jesus well understood the assumptions (and more…presumptions) of those who, believing themselves so adherent to, and expert in the scriptures would then use them as means of accusation against Him, He was by plain statement saying if you say “these are yours (and bound to them) then you are no less bound to all of them”. Jesus was not trying to wiggle out of their accusation by use of another scripture, but plainly showing both their own ignorance of, and cherry picking (for their own ends) of the scriptures…Jesus even allowing them a full ownership in saying “your law”. But if you claim some ownership (as Jesus well knew they did) than you are under obligation to own all.

If understood in the light, the second quote says so much more (about ignorance, presumption, reluctance, resistance and stiffneckedness)

‘Ye search the Writings, because ye think in them to have life age-during, and these are they that are testifying concerning me; and ye do not will to come unto me, that ye may have life;

Oh, but Jesus is far too bold here if one can see it. The “all” upon which you (or some present then, or even present today) stand for discovery of eternal life both testify of me (Jesus)…and that no less, this thing you seek and you believe you will find in there (the scriptures) is all of present in me and to any who will come to me…”yet you do not will to come”. In short…despite your many protestations, so called efforts of diligence in seeking…”I know” (Jesus is saying) “You really ain’t after that at all as made plain by refusing to come to me”.

Yes, Jesus is bold. He knows motives and hearts, in all, without exception. In fact in so many other places He makes plain the more plain to Him reason for all that so called effort, diligence and feigned seeking, “you get to look like experts and lords…lording it over God’s inheritance, loving chief seats and greetings…and esteeming yourselves amongst one another; Jesus Himself describing/outlining/delineating one of the chiefest things in prevention of belief:

How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?

Yep, looking good before one another (by whatever metric found attractive) is as much a snare as ever it was, is, and will be. And if you haven’t found yourself not immune to its charms on your own, susceptible even, still with a little “like” (or worse and God forbid, demands, even requests) for amens, one might wonder what man does that one believe Jesus came for to save? Do you not yet even know in yourself in slightest how the merest of acknowledgments from man can then be wrought into the grandest of idol’s temples? Does one not see it?

Have as much care for amens as one is made able (by the cross of Christ alone!) as for derisions. For until that cross is both seen and to whatever extent known, a man is so easily moved by them. Care for neither.

If there be any agreement in truth, or any truth…it is all God’s work. And even if there be derisions, if one is made able to accept it as same hand ministering all things to the believer, derisions too will have a fruitful work also.

Listen if you can. I write as one who has known the biggest suck up among men, seeking their favor. I have also known no man greater than that same man who is more given to self pity when meeting any resistance, contradiction and/or rebuke. I know him…intimately. But and yet, there is no boast of any knowing such a shameful thing…even in its extremity of chiefliness. Compromiser. Bold till blood is called for.
Crown of creation till true Creator batters down gates, walls, and battlements with one slight breath. One who has even (it would be appropriate to here laugh uproariously) used the scriptures in some vain imagination to keep Him at bay:

“This couldn’t possibly be your assault Lord because…”

Yes, if you are able, I needn’t ask for, request, tap my toe in anticipation…for your laughter is a welcome thing, not a sought for thing from you. Yes, please…laugh at him…all you want…and can. You will be doing that man all the favor. But if you cannot or will not, peace to you.

And I at best, though wearing a fools cap, am only, and again only at best, made to be a helper of another’s joy.

If a fall in blind pride, like a man slipping upon a banana peel, is appointed to that joy…yes…it proves the Lord is faithful.

If presumption’s pedestal begins to totter precariously and a man is beheld falling as like from his own erector set, yes, glory to God for His all seeing eye. Not sparing his sight of any man’s own work.

For we can do nothing against the truth, but for it.

It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

Before going too far with what is written above, and as with any writing (or speaking) that might by pretense, presumption or some unnamable (as in inexplicable) source be found in presentation under what we might call spiritual, every man is pressed to a form of judgement in their regard. Some easily and quickly dismiss all such as useless and vain, not believing there even be any matter(s) of spirit (or spiritual) to discuss. At least according to their response in word. For only God truly knows the mind and heart.

Others, perhaps in some sort of convincing or persuasion that, to them, there are things going on not easily explained nor understood according to some simple mechanisms material, may be called, or call themselves seekers…reaching out beyond the so called physical/material to find substance there. They perceive a curtain blocking or impeding, but not without some persuasion there is something going on beyond or behind it.

Still others may yet maintain, in some religiosity, that there is indeed an all taking place (in some estate of being and by such a Being) in that beyond, but, and and, they are content in whatever form of the religiosity and religion they embrace; that all in that beyond (even the Being of that beyond) is bound to and by their doctrines, dogmas, practices, tribal grouping(s) (is even “itself” in being supported by them) and in necessary support of, their own religion. In short, they support…the god that they believe or confess, supports them. They present a mutuality and necessity of this support.

And no doubt the above is a most facile and superficial (perhaps juvenile) of treatments and description. Boundaries of (my) definitions may be far more fluid than seemingly implied, with some bleed through in any man of what appears at first, my firmness of description. No doubt. For any man is not, just as no man is, bound by my considerations and opinions of him, no matter how I may perceive of any man.

But if I count myself at all (or am to be counted) as amongst those claiming such liberty as claimed (or even glimpsed, merely) in Christ, it would be the utmost of folly to lay claim to such a thing (as given, delivered, provided) as exceeding in its nature of the One providing.

“Whom the son sets free is free indeed” (as another’s work)

For any man claiming any freedom may well be shown the fool if thinking, even while in such liberty, he can lay any claim to of ownership, or leverage by such, the very God he confesses has made him free. Do you see? The man cannot be freer nor have more of liberty (if such a phrasing can stand) than the One providing or making him free. He is yet bound therefore to the very measure by which he ascribes such binding to the Lord, or only alive to as much liberty as he can see. Or has been made real to him. Only a “free” God can make free men, and perhaps not inconsequentially, only a free man can worship (in spirit and truth) such a free God.

This should not (am I allowed to say “should not”?) be strange speaking to any man in Christ. At very least…as far as I am persuaded. Especially if we have ever mouthed, or even considered (even most barely considered) some words written by one often acknowledged as wise amongst us:

In the freedom, then, with which Christ did make you free — stand ye, and be not held fast again by a yoke of servitude; Gal 5:1 (Young’s Literal Translation for clarity)

Christ in His freedom alone, makes one free. It might not be a bad question, therefore, “just how free is the Christ I (or anyone) confesses?” He cannot be restricted by our restrictions, surely, but can we be (are we even called to be) as free as He? If His freedom alone is the measure…we can never exceed, surely, but (and if) we find some lesser notion, the only matter can be a matter of our own sight and God forbid it be blamed on, or laid to His withholding (among His own). Unless we do not yet believe this as made true to any, and such any as sought diligently to broadcast it to all:

And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.

Remembering (and even being forbidden by spirit to forget)

Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;

Before (we might even ask “how far before?”) that to ourselves we knew, the Christ of God prayed for us. What do we have that we have not received…even as result of that Christ…being that very who who is the Christ in His work? Or…does one think anything they have, they have come to of themselves? A man can receive nothing except it be given him from above. (Italics mine)

And so returning again to the inescapable matter of judgment(s) mentioned at the first do any receive such judgments as from above? The one denying there be anything coming from above or beyond has his own estate. The one measuring by some possibility may well only be left in doubt. And the one left only to measure by what his own religion both prescribes and proscribes can never know anything of either the liberty of our Christ and His Father, who is God over all. Until delivered he is all but left to be bound, and is he himself a minister of such bondage, even as Jesus spoke of some:

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.

The bound can only minister bondage. No man can give more than he has. And at (what he might call) his best of self, his best of striving in that estate, even in all effort…will only impart to one (other) self only another self just as, if not more bound, in result.

“I can of mine own self do nothing…” Jesus said.

And no less likewise did He say (surely inclusive of those words immediately above)

It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

Yes, even those words “of myself I can do nothing” have and are spirit and life to the believer.

How much so, only the believer can either know or yet be informed.

Reject or accept, cast out of hand as folly, superstition, wonder over (as seeker) as possibility, or reject as being unacceptable to any religion and its religious strictures that lay bonds upon any for adherence; it matters not at all, ultimately…except, except as God alone chooses their ingrafting.

No man can convince another, nor is equipped to for any convincing of another, that the self is even insufficient to be…itself. It’s judgments are unsustainable, its view so limited by the very self it exalts, its works no less; that will and must, always appear right in its own eyes. And of which it must eventually, no matter how diligently it might be resisted by the most religious of piety, if scratched deeply enough will always betray its coming from…self.

Who can save such? Who alone?

For we know, if we have been convinced, that today’s most stridently religious man full of all persecutions may be tomorrow’s esteemed apostle. Today’s one swearing he knows Him not at all, no less. And the one wondering as seeker just “reading” may be tomorrow’s Ethiopian eunuch.

And all will be stood, if, and as ordained to be, upon its Head.

The tables are turned, even overturned in all, by spirit only.
Even and especially, all our merchant’s table.

And the church alone is ordained to pass into eternity in hold of life.

May she see where she is. Even now.

I understand the word happy in terms of a spiritual estate holds some disfavor. And it is surely true that to be blessed (as the text more accurately reads except for the KJV) may often be other than an experience of what one might call happy. Blessed at all times may not be happy at all times. But we might no less appreciate that, if it be an instruction (or at least encouragement) to be “joyful in tribulation(s)”, we are no less left with some impetus to investigate how this is to be so.

We might easily say “joy is a far deeper estate of being than mere happiness, blessedness no less, far deeper than just being happy which appears a quite ephemeral thing in its coming and going of experience.” Sometimes happy, sometimes other or sad, but the joy of the Lord is steadfast. Yes. And I couldn’t agree more. But what man ever seeks after unhappiness? Yes, we discover this life often has what appear as layers, and that any, if not most and all experience, always points to something deeper. And we might no less agree this is always (as all things purposed for us and to us by God) to the knowledge of the Son of God as He is in truth, though even if admitting we see through a glass darkly.

So, if there be any offense in what appears a blessedness being conflated with (at least some) experience of happiness, I cannot but be willing to bear accusation of error in causing that offense. Would one be pushing that envelope to say “he is happy to do so”? I believe I would be lying full throatedly to say anything other than this: “this life in Christ has shown me more usually, if not always and in almost every circumstance…wrong…about the way I have perceived things.” Even if I say I have some knowledge of, or understanding of, that things are “different” in Christ, I have little to no testimony that until shown, I have ever known how very different they are.

If, with one saying I declare “God is merciful”, I cannot exclude my experience(s) of His showing Himself far more merciful than I knew. Patient? Likewise. Kind? Loving…caring, attentive, powerful, without lie, uninhibited by my opinion, Knower of all things deeper and deepest in such thoroughness as to cause one like me to appear to myself as one knowing nothing at all? I fear (if I may) to occupy some other estate would exclude me (and any like me) from salvation. For I find a prohibiting that keeps me from far straying from this:

“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do”

Is it forgiveness for only what is made able to admit to being that “not knower”?
Does that admission itself then confer some sort of betterness that the man could now say “yeah, I used to not know what I was doing…but now…now I know all my own intents (and they are now right, by golly!) about everything”? I cannot tell you all the times such thinking has blown up in my face. But, even there I may be far more wrong than I know. Is there still mercy? For the man who (perhaps) should know better? If not…what is mercy then? Unless there be some happiness reserved to the man who ends up being shown wrong about everything (to whatever extent it pleases God to show) what is salvation…then?

A man may get hung up on seemingly (to some) small things, even matters seemingly overlooked or he has never found mention of by others…but to him stands out like either a sore thumb or a glaring light in a darkness he seeks to navigate. Or they may be things he has never yet found highlighted by others because…admittedly…the man hasn’t read nor heard every man in every generation speak. So, if reading it in the scripture (for at least one man said it, wrote it) it now goes off like a flash bang grenade in his mind. This seems small, but is it? A man wrote it himself, and of himself.

“…and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.” 1 Cor 7:40

Paul writes it after offering his opinion as to what might be (according to him) “best practice” amongst widows in the Lord. Earlier in the same chapter he says another curious thing:

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: 7:12

I will not seek to tackle here and now what is rather perplexing, and must be, among any who make claim all the scriptures are most plainly all the “word(s) of God”. For here are recorded in the scriptures themselves words written by a man (called to be an apostle if one receives him as such) that he specifically states are not “of the Lord” but of himself. It should not be hard for any to see at least, some need of resolution.

And to the some, or any, or many (for only God knows who may eventually read this) that may too quickly think this is some attempt to either overthrow the faith of some, or cast troubling doubt to any, God forbid. And again, God forbid. I am unashamed to be found as one who himself has labored amongst layers, and entirely unconvinced that any peeling back, (or deeper looking) when plainly presented as required, is ever anything less than salubrious to any other saint.

Of course I cannot force this to any, having no dominion over another’s faith, but neither can I deny, if the scriptures can indeed not be broken, as I am persuaded, what I read. They are written to an end. And if it be not solely for the, or a, coming to Christ (of which the Lord claims they testify), and the knowledge of Him, I care for no other use of them.

And God here also forbid any denial I may be too familiar myself with a man who loves to present himself strident. A man who often thinks himself a petite pope.

And if able to forego (for now)

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord:

I would prefer to focus upon:

“…and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.”

What are our first thoughts here? Need we have any? Dismiss them? Surely we could, made even all the more convenient if considering the overwhelming foibles plain to the man now writing. With a sort of “who does he think he is to direct any’s attention to anything? This guy’s a total mess! Far better to leave off (or maybe shelve) anything he has to say about anything” Yep, very little there with which I cannot easily agree…but for this, those words are there.

Would our first thoughts be “Hey wait a minute Paul…’…and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.’? Really? After all you have written, after all your labor(s), after all your testimony (and our oft quoting you to some necessary incumbency to be felt by all believers)…really…this is what you got? “…and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.”? You sure look(ed) like one who thundered as from Sinai, one who laid it all out, one who came behind in no gift, one who not only is able to be a “good example”…but even precisely purposed to be so…c’mon man…we need a little more solidity than “I think also”!”

B-B-B-But (do I have a stuttering tongue?) what if this too seeming confession of a too great humility before the saints is precisely that very humility of Christ worked into a man…that actually makes him a faithful witness? Layers. Layers. What if what only at first seems a less than surety…is the very thing that is itself the surety? Oh, but we may like our leader(s) to always thunder…not knowing that the very appeal of that is that we too might then partake…especially if we covet some form of being esteemed…as leader or otherwise?

Oh, yeah…Jesus warned about a certain leaven to be careful of in looking after and loving the chief seats. Loving greetings and acknowledgments in the marketplace(s). Yeah, titles, positions, esteems of men, being able to, so “wisely” in one’s own eyes advise others. Tell others…”how to do”. What…”to do.” Do you consider, would you consider a man might find “man but that vein really runs deep, don’t it Jesus? Wow! What could ever go ‘under that’ to unseat it in such a great representation of its presentation of worthiness?! Yeah! It sure seems…glorious!”

Man, all I can say to you or any is I know a man who falls there…every single time. And a man who does not. And the man who does not…is not me.

But hey! You already knew that.

(But I am just beginning to find that out)

What may be easy for you to see…what may even be easy for you to do…is all of the impossible for me.

I always coveted wanting to be a man of substance…what a foolish thing for a vapor to aspire to…(but I am just beginning to find that out).

My only hope is that even a vapor can be moved…by a stronger wind. And rise.

And see true substance. It is enough.

If continuing with this matter of surprise and being surprised (or shocked, depending) that is, being moved from that place in which we thought we knew, to something other and astounding, we would be (or I who maintain it, at least) quite foolish to imagine there are no testimonies to it from others.

And though I am more than content in, and even pressed often to acknowledge, my experience(s) in the faith of the Son of God are rife with them, even to such point of saying “My faith most usually proves me wrong”. And if I were the only one so, I could not help but think myself exceptional.

And likewise I cannot deny there is an earthy and natural impetus to that, that the man in Christ may discover about man; he rarely considers himself common. He wants to have a chief seat (if not the chief seat), be singularly acknowledged (for what he considers the singularity of himself) and rise above what to him is often “the common mass of men” however he describes them. From rat catcher to brain surgeon, few might deny there is a natural inclination to seek after distinguishing one’s self. Or even embracing some notion to themselves that they have achieved that. Yep, it’s silly to say for its ubiquity, we are all already with a built in sense of being special and motive to see it known amongst others that we not be lost in the crush.

Yeah, I’d be a fool to say I’m immune to it even if able to describe it, or just because I can see it. I may be more striving to be exceptional (and using many ruses) than I know at all, and wouldn’t that be a big surprise? That thinking I know something of vanity so well, only to have that fool’s crown won to myself! Yet I think some might be able to hear something of this intimated in this clever quip once found:

“The problem with the average man is that he does not believe himself average”

And, if understood in certain and particular term of it being problem, then one might as easily understand this bit ascribed to TS Eliot:

Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm; but the harm does not interest them.

And just because I (or any one) as a believer might have some appreciation of our Lord’s embrace of the cross…even marveling at it (even His harmlessness in it) and His work of humility in embracing it, does not mean that in one’s self he yet knows the full extent of that thoroughness.

By way of fair disclosure, I have been employed as an actor for almost every moment of my life, and so, if auditioning before the chiefest of Directors calling for a certain thing I might merely be the fool who says…”Sure, I can do humility”. (As I can do happy, or sad, ecstatic, depressed, exultant, terrified, bold, timorous; I have a whole arsenal equipped for whatever a scene calls for)

But, as one may find, this Director is not at all impressed, nor even discouraged by such a one seeking to show off his wares, “Don’t worry, I well get from you precisely as I desire for the part” And if we have a part, even as member of this body, we will encounter elders who can see through our rusing (on page or in person) and, if needing even more direct direction, that Director is not too timid to step right on to our stage, in the midst of what we may think our most excellent performance and say: (again as TS Eliot may bear quoting)

“That is not what I meant at all; That is not it, at all.”

For as another has written:

Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

We may know a little bit about a couple named Ananias and Saphira and their attempt at doing generosity. Or, a man may discover he doesn’t have to look to ancient pages.

“Knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men.” Another wrote who, generally amongst us, is not described as ignorant. But he, still able to say:

“Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.” (No matter what garlands we may seek to heap upon his head in our somber ceremonies or from pulpits spouting with many thunderous quotes)

Thankfully, such a one also wrote:

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am” Settled as it were into knowing himself as nothing more than a made thing in the hand of another, against which nothing can exact or avail by any feigning, and to which nothing can be added for attaining by striving.

And so as to this matter of surprise, I used to think such a thing as that:

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am”

was reserved to the savant, the expert practitioner, the “guru” of the faith (if you will), and only utterable by the most advanced in true piety as to almost be beyond reach. Imagine my surprise to discover it is the confession of a common man, knowing himself to be common, even common as dust…being swirled and moved only by a gracious wind. Something (or better, someone) in working him up, had whittled him down, dissolved himself within as to himself to knowing himself as nothing, that his testimony would always be to that grace. And the giver of that grace.

So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

“neither is he that planteth any thing”

Was he…”putting on a show” and doing humility?

I’m persuaded he, that man, encountered many surprises in discovering who God is, how He works, and what He might do to, or with a man. Was he doing ecstatic when he said/wrote:

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

What might have been (does it need considering?) his frame here in hearing answer to this question:

“Who are you, Lord?”

Or we might consider others, who, even already being told of all that would transpire were not reproved in their surprise and being found:

And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?

Or Peter’s discovery after yielding in some obedience, (though they had already been told at the ascension)

While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost.

along with this:

Forasmuch then as God gave them the like gift as he did unto us, who believed on the Lord Jesus Christ; what was I, that I could withstand God? When they heard these things, they held their peace, and glorified God, saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.

they held their peace, and glorified God

It appears a not unusual thing for some? many? all? to be surprised at things.
Even such things of glory entirely and previously…unexpected.

Even that, no matter what a man may think he knows, have in any experience he may consider as having been in the Lord, or of the Lord…God always shows Himself…greater? I am wrong and content to be, therefore, about the greatness of God, for God forbid I shut myself off, (or any other) by either attitude or some silly and abject poverty of pomposity…from surprise.

Oh, yes, I cannot deny I can be set for shock and not even know it, thinking myself far more open to the all that God is in Christ by some vanity of my thinking, or thoughts of attainment, or even “years” of what might be (even erroneously) of following. God knows…I may not yet have even started! Is that “OK” with me?

How could it not be?

If it be what God knows?

Is God’s knowing…enough?

If not, what else could be?

If one is too old for surprises, or too wise to be surprised, or knows too much already beyond bearing of further surprise, God knows.

As only God knows.

But still…this:

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

If one like me, who in last writing(s) has made so much of the matter of surprise, is without some testimony in himself of it (just as having the testimony of Jesus Christ within is all life to a man) then such a man without testimony is just an empty jangler and clanging cymbal. And I cannot deny that may well be my estate, God knows. Just a box of pebbles when shaken that makes some noise. As said, God knows.

But rather than seek to enumerate for proof(s) the many places of surprise (and yes, shocks, too) that might appear persuading…or even “go to the scriptures” to establish any seemingly righteous justification (which is never forbidden), I am rather found persuaded to say only this:

There has been for me no place of, what I am persuaded is Christ’s intervening in “my life” (from first confession and onward), that has not been without some great surprise and perhaps even more frequent…shocks. If there has been any advancement at all, (for only God knows) not one step forward has come apart from some inherent reproof (and often rebuke) of a once present estate to (if one can receive it) goad me ahead. I have to be prodded. I have to be…moved.

And that might be one of the greater shocks/surprises of which I have been made aware. Of myself, I am entirely inert. And oh, of course, I didn’t always think myself so. I was a doer of stuff to myself. Even when surprised on an evening that I expressed my being unimpressed being “around all these Jesus people” and what so called “God was doing” I later found myself blubbering like a baby and confessing Jesus Christ as Lord, yes…even after, I retained a strong sense of my ability and abilities.

Yes, I was surprised at the one who had no problem raising his hand when questioned from the front “Is there anyone here who is not excited about the Lord?” shooting it up to singly distinguish himself…but later finding himself quite broken down. Yes, I easily agreed something happened that night. Even something surprising to that man/child/boy. But of my own ability I was (or so it seemed, yes only seemed) not dissuaded at all.

And I could speak of several intervening years of experiences and adventures in disregard…which…quite shockingly led to a place of such desolation and despair that this man/boy knew beyond doubt something of this (and such) terribleness had been so precisely aimed at him, that he could not deny. It was too perfect in its precision, accuracy, execution…and reduction. Something “else” happened. Someone else…was happening to him.

No doubt any could find place to quibble about true conversion vs some false equivalency of it that such as God does not deal so harshly with His own, and that that man/boy who, even if walking in such forgetting of that night of blubbering years ago might think of it as some form of “conversion experience”, it never really was so. I couldn’t agree more with one’s right to see or say so.

But this man was there. And he remembers as surely now as when this and these words happened to him, rising as it were from inside himself from a place both unfamiliar and completely unbidden; but as surely true as they were in both their perfect clarity and no less perfect phrasing:

“To him who has more shall be given, but to him who has not, even that which he thinks he has shall be taken from him”

“which he thinks he has”

Both shock and surprise…and all at once. A man too perfectly described of all presumption that was himself…but…hearing! Even hearing of such a man from a place he knows he could have never “said it to himself” from. Of course no presumptuous man could ever show himself of such gross presumption, for it is his very (and total) inclination to remain unaware and deny anyone able to add to his conversation(s). The man so perfectly right to himself…being displayed as so totally…wrong. Who could do…that?

The time it has taken to relate these things so far exceeds what that man knew and experienced in that instant (like the twinkling of an eye) of surprise. Yes “that man” is all wrong and deserving of being totally stripped…but…the one telling him so…is “inside”. Shock and surprise? Surprise and shock? I have entered something I know I cannot relate to any fulness to anyone. Suffice it to say (though their have been innumerable missteps, misapprehensions, bull in china shop reactions undeniable, and yes…even more often displays of presumption made plain), yes, suffice it to say, there was a sea change…if you will.

That man needed to know that who of who would “still speak to him” while so self occupied as to not even recognize the speaker’s reality. Yes, that thrilled him beyond any “feeling bad” about being such a wretch…(and wretch undeniable and beyond description). See, this cannot be explained. That man has (still and often) “felt bad” (it is also undeniable) to even a cringing at times at himself and his ways, but that speaker has never…ever…left him without hope. And that is the inexplicability of it.
How the great wretch (even greatest) is given hope.

No, it is not by denying his wretchedness, no it is not by some clever “letting himself off the hook” for he knows how he squirms like a worm there plainly to himself, and it would be and is an undeniable right of to any to ask, or to further seek to pin down such a worm by whatever additional probing seems called for by any, and of why such a wretched thing…could have hope.

I am not unfamiliar of how talk of wretchedness may seem (in these present days) and among the some who confess Christ…as either unfitting or unsettling. To some, no doubt, it must appear as wallowing…perhaps even some heretical denial of being cleansed. Yes, surely, I cannot deny how it may appear. Likewise I cannot deny it can have the appearance of a penance, another heresy of self flagellation whereby “feeling bad enough” is looked upon as some expiation (in heresy) of what only Christ can do to “let one off the hook” (so to speak).

Yep, I get it. Nevertheless the worm calls for being pinned down, the thing to be examined requiring a necessary stopping of all its own motions so that proper exam, or fullness of what is contained within of motive can be either accomplished to exposure, or discerned for right fitting disposal, or seen.

Yikes! We might even ask the Christ if He knows anything about this!

Jesus…do you know anything about being opened up completely so that what was inside…would be “let out”? Do you? What comes out of you…when being “pinned down” like a worm?

Yes…a reason for thieves and worms to have hope. Mercy. The only hope for thieves and worms. Thieves of glory and worms loving corrupt and dead things for their sustenance, preferred above the heavenly. Mercy.

I am a bit unashamed. But God knows this does not mean I too, haven’t been unsurprised by how abundant is that being of unashamed (estate) and can be to such a worm. It is remarkable, astounding…even breathtaking. Death and life…and all at once. A worm that by all logical accounts should feel so bad at being displayed a worm to a complete and utter silence…has the temerity…even the boldness to speak.

Perhaps we could even ask Paul? What was “having that same spirit of faith” that bid him speak? Did he overemphasize Christ’s work toward even the chiefest of sinners to be unpalatable? Too much talk of grace, man! When do we get “to do”? What do we “have to do” to do? A worm in its motions.

Yeah…been there, done that. “I wanna be like that guy, or that guy, or that guy up there giving such great sermons or words that lift, or rightly advise, or caution and warn.” I wanna have what they have.

I said that once to that brother I previously mentioned and recognized as an apostle…(at least to me.) I watched the ease with which all in conversation was always brought around to the Christ of God, his Lord. How that with such joy this fellow seemed consumed with nothing but that…no matter how many other things seemed apparent to situation or conversation. I saw it too many times. And far too many times to be unimpressed by it. So many times that eventually I was reduced to beggar undeniable, position of admission of an envy made unavoidable to saying “I want what you have” a plain supplicant exposed.

(Others once said to a man “give us this meat to eat”)

“I want what you have”

Without hesitation or even time for thoughtful phrasing came this:

“To have what I have you will have to lose what I lost”

I see now (even with some surprise) he was prepared to that statement/question/request and for that question.

I understand, as we all must come to, any and all matters if idolization are dealt with according to their need. But I cannot overstress the spontaneity, and to me, rightness of the exchange. I had no coveting of his position, he had already been removed from a local assembly, even one he had helped establish.

Asked to leave/booted/adjudged to be of such error that the other leaders/elders (of which he was “once one”) caused his departure. And which he bore in joy with no recriminations for any. He was either already then, or shortly thereafter, to endure the same (but now “local” to me.)

It was common knowledge and held by all I ever met of that first congregation, that it had grown out of home meetings (his home) and fellowship. And now returning to “my” area (where I met him) in which he had some roots of both nativity and remaining family, he would also be booted again.

A man “out of order”. “Teaching” from his abode, some question of abusing hospitality (his own mother’s) and generally to be “someone else’s problem”. Basically…”you gotta go home, get your own house in order (especially in regards to his marriage and wife) stop presenting yourself as one of some calling…and basically ‘get yer mind right’ and go get along with the prior elders who had put you out.”. You have no place here. And it was there in having no place, I was joined to him.

He remained a wild man. And that is what I most probably and consciously didn’t know I was seeing, but wanted, nonetheless. A man unhindered by polity or convention of situation or conversation…for him it was “always about Jesus”.

Yes, I was provoked to jealousy. No, I find no shame in that…regardless of all my subsequent misunderstandings and necessary rebukes and chastening’s born of what remained of presumption. Find the road, for Christ’s sake, find the road…the Lord will attend to any missteps along the way…if it is indeed, His road. Don’t worry (besides as need be, you’ll find rebuke(s) for that, too). In one way…one may learn that is indeed His road, by the many necessary chastenings.

That is how one (perhaps like me) is able to say unashamed, and if found to have any progressing, not one bit has come from “Hey you’re really doing things right”…or…”keep going, doing as well as you are doing”. Ha! Nope. If anything has come (and come as either surprise or shock…and often both at once) “it” has come by…”you don’t see as well as you think, or know, or even speak (or write).”

“And I will show you and prove it to you”…shock and awe! If I speak of mercy, as though it could be summed up…redemption, salvation, any so called mystery of grace or faith…NO! (or yes) “you don’t know the half of it!” Look and see!

I am not unusually found a poor beggar playing dress up in a King’s robes. Still, and even to myself. The moment there is any entertaining of my own rightness (OK…maybe moments after, dare I admit to days or years after?) I find myself in any admiration…I have given Heaven perfect ground coordinates for carpet bombing.

What one might appraise as to be to another’s shame, I cannot help but admit…I’m very terrorized of lying in this place. But my boast (as I hope) is always of Heaven’s response to such a fool…even if such boast seem…delayed. And (God help me), may it even be when such bombing causes such a one to be so disfigured among men…and beyond bear-ability or belief.

Yes…faithful are the wounds of (and from) a friend.

May we all die and be consumed of, and by, what is friendly fire.

We all, who believe, sense and know that fire is coming, as it has already been kindled quite perfectly in the earth, by another.

May we answer His from Heaven by being rightly consumed.

Our light in the natural is only a simile, a metaphor, a type and shadow found in this creation, of the true light. And that light is of all impact, it will utterly crash into all and anything that is not made transparent to it, allowing fullest penetration.

What is able to make and cause any to stand in that day, is set for the demolition of all else.

He’s coming.

Even declaring to those who can hear…

“Behold, I come quickly”…

and surely sooner than I know or could say.

And we are moved.

Our considerations of matters spiritual, or real, knows no bounds. We are not inhibited from anything, nor prohibited in any matter of question if born of sincere desire. Though this, in itself, is no small matter of which we often find ourselves in question “What is sincere desire?”

Where once we easily thought ourselves sincere in all undertakings, our coming to Christ has revealed (as part and parcel to it) at very least something of His sufferings accomplished on our behalf, and in obedience to His Father, that is displayed as price or cost to a soul that another soul be made free of lies and/or insincerity. One soul enters darkness that another may receive light. We dare not discount or make less of this profound work, even if described in so few words. “He bore His soul unto death”. He entered (and conquered) every bit of it, fully bearing Himself to it, with no drawing back nor defense of self displayed.

In the most extreme of terms with no apology for their deserved extremity, He conquered death…all, and fully, in Himself. And now those in Him, are to know, no less than His resurrection testifies, this same work being done in themselves…as gift.

There is a too wonderful intertwining here of both His death and His resurrection, for the profoundest considerations of each (which in truth are inseparable) testify to both deepest of depths and highest of heights. In that sense “all” is covered. No one has or could descend lower, no has or could ascend higher. And its marvel is eternal.

And each testifies of each, always, (and God help me here to not reduce marvel) as in the natural a quantum entanglement is apprehended. (Though by this writer only most barely of such) Each testifies of the “other’s” estate of being. One’s “up-ness” is irreducibly (and immediately) tied to any observation of the “other’s” down-ness.
Yes, as the heavens declare the glory of God, so do “smaller” things. For we are in the “same” and only God of all creation.

But I did not want to poke around in the periphery of matters, of which the deepest of physics is only itself so. (Nor would I have any led astray to thinking I know much about them). Nevertheless, there can be no adventures and/or explorations of our God in His magnificence (who is spirit) that is contradicted in, or by, His creation. We may at times, think we see something of those in the natural, but if and when our sole reference is God…all other seeming contradictions dissipate as the once opaque morning mists. He is full of all reason as to why all things are as they are, and even all reason particularly in those times when we are being led to believe otherwise. Not one sparrow falls ignored. Not one hair un-numbered.

And so, if speaking of hair and aforementioned grace to relax, be at ease, be unconfounded to frustration at our own inability to anything…anything at all, we could also consider turning just one hair from white to black, as Jesus spoke of. Or growing hooves or that second head as also previously mentioned. Actually, it is only the believer who can find any comfort in the impossible to himself, and perhaps contrary to all intuitiveness, is appointed to.

And, if I may dip a toe back into the natural, not one loving and doting parent would be unfamiliar with the notion of surprise, that is, to take or provide their beloved child with such a matter of joy prepared for them, but of which they are convinced that child could not even begin to imagine as end. “Yes…it is the circus, children!” as the car is parked to squeals of delight.

I have known apostles…met some, read and heard of others, and had the distinct pleasures and pains of one stopping for me, to pick me up, carry me, and being unashamed of association with me and all my childish presumption(s). A man knows, as only the man who is going through it knows (uncaring of opinions rendered) when his soul is being knit to another. He also knows nothing is more out of his own hands. Resist, and it is proved. Accept or submit…and it is proved.

And I mention this only to this end, regardless of opinion. Apostles are bold. They are wild men. Or if not yet, they will grow to be, for some are yet in training…to a singleness of eye, as their calling relentlessly motivates. Yet they know it is not only for themselves, this singleness of eye, nor to themselves is such keeping. But they are “first” in the sense the man in the crow’s nest first spies land or obstruction, but would be in complete dereliction of duty if keeping such to himself.

And apostles are also first to learn of stripes and severe chastening’s if, or when such knowledge is mis-apprised as something for themselves only…or as a personal delight…only. They may see delightful things without any prohibition of joy, but there is a greater good served by their learning to unabashedly holler either excitedly “land ho” or with great caution “hard a’starboard, rocks ahead”.

Their seeing is for all, and silly would be the man who, if reading Paul (or any other apostle’s words) with any desire at all (born of spirit) thinks Paul wrote simply to show off. Or surrendered to “I guess this ain’t for all of us”. It is not unworthy to admit to lack of understanding, but it would be far more remiss to adjudge that any insight or revelation given is only to be held in our communion by a more special few. Freely you have received, freely give…has either indeed been burned into their soul(s), or will be. And I mention this (and

Such a one I knew. And I mention this (and him) to such end that, and as an apostle his insights/revelations were for those to whom he understood himself as sent. He was surely…sent to me, though I know of others who have known him. And I have no doubt at all, that as one knew of such knitting together of souls mentioned, so did the other.

Remember Paul’s words if you need reminding. Though he is most generally read today with much (rightly due) respect…and thought fit for general application and acceptance (though I also fear with some presumption by some)…remember his own words in respect to himself and his calling. For to either be ignorant of them, or to discount them as folly now (when he appears so esteemed among so many) will only prove presumption if not held, or presumption if discounted.

“If I be not an apostle unto others, yet doubtless I am to you: for the seal of mine apostleship are ye in the Lord.”

Paul laid no claim to being an apostle to all, even were he ordained so. And even no man who might receive him to himself as such “I am fully persuaded Paul writes for and to me in truth” Or even “all the church” (as I am persuaded), Paul never took it to himself. Strangely (to some perhaps) this is precisely a “why” I am persuaded of his verity. Not because “he’s in the Bible!”, not because every other confessing member of the body might tell me “YOU have to accept Paul’s words and leading”, but because something almost too true rings forth from that man. Just like his Lord. He knows to whom he was sent. He knows of souls being knit together, though he bore with much pain and sorrow…even such work. Just like his Lord.

Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?

Yes, it is not the man who commends himself…(with titles, positions, garb, etc.)

For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.

And there is a discipline for some coming, chastenings for others “on the horizon” who would seek to bind others to Paul’s words when not being knit to them, themselves. And only God will show any man whether Paul is “commended”, and it will not be because he can find them in a book “everyone must heed to”. You…are not (as neither am I) a pope. The call of Christ is to God through Christ and woe to the man looking for the upper hand in the assembly.

I fear I have gone a bit afield. But as an apostle we do find Paul (once we are convinced he is true) handling the word of God in liberty, but not license. He is free to draw connections, make declarations unbreakable to those of same knit nature, and not obscurely seen (as though it is too weird to say) as a wild man. Some outside thought him off his rocker…while at least a few inside (I say few as concession) esteemed him not as one to “take a stand with”. (Burn your pulpit if you do not know this. If you do know, you have already burned your pulpit.) Too bold?

And so this apostle who once appeared to me in flesh also knew his liberty in touching the scriptures for enlightening. And as one knit to him by many proofs I understood some, paid less attention to others…and even found some perhaps unsettling and perhaps even presumptuous (as so many were willing to dismiss him “out of hand”)

But some come back to me now from accompanying him (and he accompanying me without shame) through a life of meetings, travelling, shopping, sharing meals, watching TV, walking streets and entering prison(s). I remember his expansion upon this:

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:

But with this understanding he had been persuaded of in spirit that God alone will either commend or disavow:

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: (and let us surprise him!)

And let us surprise him!

No, none need find anything here by compulsion. And I am persuaded to say what this brother would most often say to the often blank faces he met when saying it

“Do you not know this?”

And as though too relentless in boldness, he would follow hard upon with these words: (for apostles are bold when grown):

“Or…do you know better than this?”

And, yes, he always held a smile for any who thought they knew better.

But, as I say, impacts are a reserved thing according to recognition. One man hears thunder, another the voice of an angel, another yet hear that voice on High above which none exceed.

Father, glorify thy name. Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again. The people therefore, that stood by, and heard it, said that it thundered: others said, An angel spake to him. Jesus answered and said, This voice came not because of me, but for your sakes.

How and what we hear is how and what we hear…not at all what we say of “how and what we hear”. This is a rebuke to some as it must be to myself. But it is also a great comfort when appreciating one cannot unstop his own ears, open his own eyes and finds that peculiar comfort in the all that is impossible to himself.

One may think (if one has had some walking) of all the silly questions posed him as a believer by those who would seek to make the “impossible” an uncomfortable place for him.

“Can God make a rock so big He can’t lift it?” Huh? Huh? “Come on, theist…come on…”

or the even funnier: (of which I am fond for my own peculiar disposition)

“Can God make a chili so hot He can’t eat it?” huh? huh?

So many questions…some of seeming deeper resonance “If God is all good and also all powerful…but there is evil…that means…”

For some this is the kiddy end of the pool…some being so overwhelmed by a thing of far greater wonder and ineffable phrasing. Can God start with dust, and from it, make something like Himself? Even grow from what is not at all like Him in any way…(even steadfastly resistant to being so) and assuredly NOT HIM, yet grow it up to know Him? And not only so, but to know Him no less than His own sent Christ…knows Him?

If so…how? If so…why? If so…what might one find out?

Perhaps that he is far more knit than ever he could have once appreciated?

And even be surprised by it.

I used to think I know better.

Father forgive them, they know not what they do.

Maybe I still do.

We are caught in a curious place. If the end is to just know ourselves as forgiven (with Christ as savior and forgiver) of sin, somehow hold fast to this to death and then “go to Heaven”, nothing is said in that uncommendable. Even the use of the word “just” as though assigning this a small doing, could speak ill of such estate. God forbid. And God forbid any of the Lord’s gracious work be counted as “just” something He does, or has done.

Yet when we see such as all reduced to that, juxtaposed against what Paul has declared as ultimate plan, purpose and even will of God in and though Christ for His church, it will not deprecate such. Therefore, God forbid it appear anyone (especially myself) seem to do so, or have any intent to. But we are left with having to consider certain things in light of one another. Particularly an all “growing to the fullness of the stature of Christ…(even) unto a perfect man”. This is indeed what the apostle called a high calling.

And if a man say “we are caught” (even in a curious place) there might be some reason for appraising it so. For none will deny one has written “it does not yet appear what we shall be” in our being sons of God. Likewise even in such place that one has written that:

“but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.”

We are to be like Him in all ways, yet till He is seen as He is, this full outworking of transformation is hindered, or veiled. It does seem to be a curious place, no? To have some conviction (even inward impetus) of intended growth to a fullness (lacking nothing)…even to a perfection, but forced to admit that (at least) to ourselves…”it does not YET appear what we shall be”.

It can be, perhaps must be in some ways, vexing to any logic of man. But, the spiritual man might be able to understand, it is only to those places where all natural logic is rebuked, shown useless and vain, that are, or is, to where the spiritual man is beckoned. This presents, even demands, a reliance elsewhere.
There can be no figuring out, or calculating by measures.

It is not my intent (such as I know it) to present difficulties, or seeming contradictions, or make of hope a silly thing. But likewise I see no grace if denying our most common of estates, pretending I see better of difficult things. And perhaps that is something of a persuasion granted a man might come to…that when things are hard (or difficult), we may have some inclination to put more oomph to it, believing it might still be possible we can do it, but when things are manifestly shown perfectly impossible, a good and healthy surrender is found to have joy in it.

Frustration doesn’t come from impossibility, frustration only comes from, and can only come from a thing appearing doable making itself then undoable to us…as we strive and try, and labor after it…yet always falling short.

Stupidly I offer…I find frustration when thinking I could have all studs perfectly plumb, and then find that (at least) one off I somehow neglected to see so when later appraised. I though I had worked consistently throughout, and if asking me I would tell you, “yes, absolutely” I had placed a level on all faces. But now…after line of them is done…the proof is there…I hadn’t worked as precisely as I thought I had. Did I not see? What didn’t I take into account? How can this be when I thought I had…

This is a silly offering I know, but such has happened far more, and in too many ways worth mentioning to be ignored in my own undertakings. Maths, automotive mechanics (whence this extra nut or screw?)…job of livelihood, marriage(s)…in every single thing I might undertake in my presumption of possibility and intent of success (ha, maybe like writing!)…I have known frustration. Any and all of oomph here, it seems, serves only to make more a fool of me. “This time, yes, this time…I’ll make it work perfectly”. Ha!

You know where I have never known frustration? Trying to grow hooves, or a second head…well…simply because…my knowing it is impossible has kept me from striving to.

No doubt some will be inclined here to say “someone is just saying throw up your hands and walk away from all of Christ”. It’s all just…impossible…anyway. “Love your neighbor as yourself” “Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Who hasn’t found how easily resorted to is that serpent’s knowing when seeing it…as some impossibility to then remain harmless?) You think me a fool? How very right you are! In some ways I am still looking for the man who has cut off his right hand because he has seen it as an offense to him. Or that man with one eye plucked out. “OH!” One says…”you silly silly man…Christ here is being exaggerative, not literal (whatever that means) and you are too obviously a fool”. Yes, and again, no doubt I am.

But who easily explains all that away but than blithely reads “Thou shalt love the Lord with thine whole heart, whole mind, whole soul, and whole strength” and says “OK, cool, that I will do” That’s a real (literal) instruction.

“Cool, Jesus, thanks for the great advice!”

Listen. I’m a liar and easily accused of being so, especially if in any way I am seeking to present myself in any way immune to, or deaf to knowing this/these inner conversation:

“I need to try harder”
“I need to be better”
“I’m not doing well enough”

or

“I may well be beyond all hope” the last being especially pernicious if allowed as final word. And indeed would be…if another allowed it to be.

But here is where grace and mercy shine, even if, and when, in rebuke:

For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.

Someone speaks hope to the chiefest of sinners. The very one who “most falls short”.

The issue is not hard to see. The problem (if it is one) even more easily discerned as irresolvable for man. Only He who can (and does) the impossible can possibly reign here.

But God forbid we fail to see it as His issue, taken to Himself and for Himself…and somehow seek to worm our way in with our ability(s) to resolve and do what only He can.
He (our God) has purposed that from clay (as to Him appeared a good start for His purpose) to fashion a thing to then become a thing of such stature as to be changed and grow into all likeness of Himself. And this He has done through His Christ, our Lord, Jesus. Free of sin? Yes, and undoubtedly. Of different nature than what once was? Surely (The first man is of the earth and earthy…)

Yet…purposed by His purpose “may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

And to know the Father in all fullness as we are persuaded our Lord does.

He started with His dust (so far as we often see) and as such so often occupies our sight…for cleaner dust, better dust, more perfect dust…and we know frustration…even as we must. We might just as well “try” to grow a second head.

But before dust is His intent and purpose…before all we can of our seeing and our own knowing, is all His intent and purpose.

And that alone can only be seen in one place. Heard of, from one place.

So also it has been written: “The first man Adam became into a living soul;” the last Adam into a life-giving spirit.

Yet…purposed by His purpose “may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

And to know the Father in all fullness as we are persuaded our Lord does.

He started with His dust (so far as we often see) and as such so often occupies our sight…for cleaner dust, better dust, more perfect dust…and we know frustration…even as we must. We might just as well “try” to grow a second head.

But before dust is His intent and purpose…before all we can of our seeing and our own knowing, is all His intent and purpose.

And that alone can only be seen in one place. Heard of, from one place.

So also it has been written: “The first man Adam became into a living soul;” the last Adam into a life-giving spirit.

‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.

More oomph simply will not avail here.

The flesh must, cannot help but, is assigned to inescapably, glorying in itself. And thereby showing its nature.

What may appear, or even be described, as the merest whiff of spirit is far more than enough to show all its boasting as the corruption it is. The rank vanity it is.

For is not in any of man’s measure of abundance of spirit or seeming paucity of it that any right measurement can be made. The most novice saint holds within a wisdom to shame the eldest religious devotee and practitioner who trusts in his own piety. Maybe even someone like me.

The greatness of spirit is measured and has come in the cost of “its” delivery…whether we (in our foolishness) yet think by the ton or by the ounce.

One word does. One word undoes.

And what is new in spirit…has always been and will.

Behold, (He proclaims) I make all things new.

We either see “it all started with dust”…or He intended to start from dust with an intent no man can bring himself to. And somehow be delivered from all the frustrations dust is ordained to know.

For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 

but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 


His hope. It’s working toward all that is full and perfect. Even through what we might call…our frustrations.

After what little has been said, why then the above title:

“AI and the Church “?

Until it is settled to us that the only intelligence is that which is in spirit, gleaned of spirit, shown true in spirit, whatever we may “come back with”, if in any doubt otherwise, is both useless to us and counter to growth in Christ. The hard place of knowing (if one is persuaded such a thing as knowing is) never yields to speculation nor supposition. “It” may purify, but truth is not in supposition to anything.

But God forbid any intimation that such does not serve purpose or be unapproved be said. God would have us think about things (meditate) especially of those things we approve as of God. And if we have any persuasion of having found anything in the scriptures that bears our inner testimony of verity (God surely knows!) then let us, by the grace of God, hold fast to whatever kernel brings forth fruit. Surely this bit of exchange between Jesus and certain hearers would not be exempt:

Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.

(Several other translations precede “search” with “Ye do” or (implied) “You pore over the scriptures…”)

This is rather startling to consider, and I am open to any rebuff in any use of being startled.

We could here suppose many things. Is Jesus not exposing the very thinking of some? Beyond any other matter being said (which do speak of profound matters) are we convinced Jesus knows…what men think…in their doings? Is it presumptuous of Him to claim such knowing, or is such truth of men so plain to Him as to be irrefutable? Does Jesus…know? And even know…what knowing is?

Do not think we ourselves escape this question. Does Jesus know all about men’s thinking as motive for their doings? Am I exempt? Does Jesus know every why of “why I do what I do“? (And how many of the scriptures do testify of Jesus knowing all the thoughts and intents of heart!) Even all inner conversations with our soul.

Does one see? We could easily proceed into several (if not many) matters found in those few words, but already something that might be easily overlooked, or casually confessed (Yes! Of course Jesus knows everything about man!) may have deeper implications for us than just (let’s say) “Jesus is warning against seeking after a thing by means that may not be a fullness, or may even cause one to be blind to the substance of the thing itself….after which one is said to be seeking“.

Stupidly I offer the man who, looking for the forest, says: “I can’t see it with all these trees around blocking my view…but yes…I am looking wholeheartedly for the forest!”

It is more than just not knowing what a forest is (in ignorance), but that standing in one one finds the very things that constitute it…as a hindrance to finding it. Is Jesus really a stumbling block? Even purposed so? Only the man who falls needs help getting up.

But Jesus says “They are that which testify of me…”

And for us, which must come first? Who does come before…the they…the things…that testify? And if what we assume (as we may) of the that that testifies does not lead to a singularity, a proper seeing through which all must and is to be seen…what have we gained? Maybe at best…only a supposing? Speculations? Some bible knowledge…of recollection or only memory? Could we have it…backwards…even often?

And God knows what my confession must be to be found not lying.

These things will either withstand accusation of seeking to add complexity to the simple, (as in some contradiction of the bumper sticker “God said it, I believe it, and that settles it” variety) or some way of putting understanding into either more select hands or minds (which I would confess as contrary to any intent) or placing all matters as always too deep to truly understand…and therefore a throwing up of hands should ensue. God forbid!

But, and because, even if confession is so of intents here, only God knows the heart to its depths. All things are subject to review, correction, revision, and rebuke. Straining at gnats but swallowing camels is always a right warning to any.

Either we accept all as necessarily understood, and our necessity to understand as only through Christ, or we do not. Jesus was not adding to the law, changing the meaning of the law, nor in any way even slightly altering the law when He says:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

For again, if we take Paul at his word (and words as inspired) the law is spiritual, and therefore only the spiritual man can even begin to understand it. It makes no matter as to how much any might proclaim “But it is there in black and white, plain worded as can be…” (or written in stone)…for what is spiritual is spiritual dependent for any sight or understanding. The weakness of flesh, through which the spiritual matter of law is made weak, is also undeniable. There is no fault in the law, it is perfect to its end. It simply cannot bring about any perfection or perfecting of what abides in flesh. For that the life giving spirit of a man becomes all and sole necessity.

“That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the spirit is spirit”

It could take, in truth would take and does take only the Lord’s work in His activity (there could never be enuff books) to show and/or separate by explanation the flesh’s influence upon the soul which is the amplifying organ of man. Our soul is to “magnify the Lord”, have His magnificence as pouring through it in some understanding.

But if the soul is not won, or not yet won to only Christ as life (again and only by the Lord’s work(s) of patience) we easily mistake the soulish matters as fed of spirit. Our carnal dispositions, preferences, biases may present themselves as spiritual in nature, but are only an out working of juvenile estate, presenting such matters as true and eternal. Paul saw what was beginning to happen at Corinth when believers were separating over whom they preferred as spiritual teacher. Is it wrong to have preferences? God forbid! For God knows we do and have. But to then imagine anything of them promotes health to the body by either their proclamation and further worse, by an attachment of our identity to them, is folly. And I am persuaded Paul was no more impressed, nor pleased with the man who says “I am of Christ” in that situation, for the Lord alone will make clear, as it is His alone to make clear…what is of Him, or not. The Lord confirms, not man.

For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.

One will cry out “But how then can any know?” A man can say anything! How will any know what is true or not?

Yes…that may be a question that always bears return, even if we do not yet see its primacy in all. It is not enough to say, or even know that AI has long been an issue brothers have dealt with from the beginning. No, it is far more than that, just being able to even see or say that, as all this short writing may only be a presumption to address.

You are born of spirit to know.

Paul did:

“I know whom I have believed and am persuaded…”